Shades of Light and Dark
by Witchdoctr
Summary: Sequel to Gaara of the Light. Sasugaa VS Narugaa VS Sasunaru. And some SuigetsuXGaara action to keep you squirming in disgust. You should really read Gaara of the Darkness/Light before reading this. Yaoi, lime.
1. The First Chapter of the Last Sequel

**Greetings from witchdoctr. **

**Hey-lo. This is the third and final installment of my Gaara series. I promise it will be different from the last story. **

**Oh, and to keep things exciting, there will be some Sasugaa to mix in with the takes-two-stories-to-develop Narugaa. There are some anti-Christian hints in this story, but hey, go to my profile and you'll see a lot of Anti-Christian-ism. Oh yeah, and if you're interested in my writing, you can find an original story of mine on Fictionpress under the same name. OOooh, shameless product placing? Absolutely! **

**Yup. That's all I have to say. **

**And on with my crappy illogical story. Thanks to those who've followed it this far. And sorry to those who quit at the beginning or middle and haven't made it to the end.**

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><p>"Hey faggot!"<p>

Highschool was hell on earth.

The redhead sighed. He'd always imagined, as a kid, hell as a place where there were horrible, nasty demons spitting fire and brimstone in a small burning place for eternity. Well, turns out, that was highschool. And it felt like eternity. He couldn't believe he wasn't even halfway through the year yet. Not even close. It was wickedly cold, but Christmas was yet to come. After Christmas was New Year's and the redhead always felt like that was the middle of the year. He just needed to get to the middle, take a breather, and then chug through the rest of what promised to be a wretched year.

Oh well. That's highschool for you.

"Hey! Fag!" The redhead glared at the offending speaker. He knew him and what really pissed him off was that he had a feeling that offender was gay himself. "Shut the fuck up, Hozuki," Gaara murmured. Then grunted as he was shoved roughly into the lockers. He was pinned to the flimsy metal , which was bending slightly, the metal pushing into his back. The offender grinned at him with jagged teeth, one arm beside the boy's head, the other on his shoulder, pushing him against the lockers. "Language. Pansies like you aren't allowed to swear." The redhead tried to punch him, but his arms were in an awkward position that didn't allow for. "Tsk, tsk, I'm rather disappointed. You used to be stronger," the white-haired boy said. Why wouldn't anyone help him? They were all just standing there, looking amused. At highschool, being gay was like being the Devil.

"Get the fuck off me, Suigetsu!"

The redhead cussed him out, but inwardly, he couldn't summon the strength to shove the other boy off. He couldn't. He wanted to, he really did, but it just seemed gone to him.

"Come on. You're strong. What, turning gay makes you weaker or something? Or is it Naruto?" Suigetsu murmured.

The redhead tensed at the mention of his boyfriend's name.

He tried to shove the white-haired teenager off. But Suigetsu's grip was like iron.

"You know, I actually like you," Suigetsu murmured. He leaned up against the redhead, swinging his hips slightly.

"Too bad the feeling isn't mutual," the redhead muttered, disgusted. "If you're so worried about your reputation, then why are you being so obvious?"

"Me? I'm not worried about my reputation. I'm gay and I would shout it. I'm not weak like you. If anyone makes fun of me, I'll beat 'em to death," Suigetsu said cheerfully. "Then why are you bullying me?" the redhead hissed. "Because I really hate you. You're irritating, in a cute way," was the reply and it made the redhead groan. What was wrong with that psychotic asshole?

What Suigetsu did next completely shocked the redhead.

He leaned forward and kissed him, right there in front of everyone. Every eye was on them now and every eye widened. Suigetsu Hozuki, a juvenile criminal with a rap sheet and history with the police and fire departments, possibly on parole was gay? So not cool. Totally uncool. Now every girl at school was going to text their BFF's and tell them how disappointed they were to find another hot guy was gay. Oh well. It was highschool. They could and would find some other boy toys.

Suigetsu kissed the shocked redhead, who didn't respond to the kiss. Well he did. He bashed Suigetsu's nose in with a hard hit from his head, but the white-haired boy seemed amused rather than hurt. "You're feisty, but still weak," he whispered.

"Hey! Asshole!"

The redhead saw a yellow blur. And smirked.

"Fucked," he said to Suigetsu.

Just a split second before impact as his blond boyfriend plowed into Suigetsu and shoved him to the ground, now shrieking profanity and angry vulgarity that was not only disgusting but physically impossible for Suigetsu or anyone for that matter to perform.

"About time, Naruto."

"Sorry, Gaara, Kakashi held me back for awhile," the blond said sheepishly.

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><p><strong>Don't you hate getting reviews from a story you finished a while ago that tell you what was wrong with it?<strong>

**No? I do. **

**Okay, so there really isn't anything anti-Christian or anti-religion here but of course I get the reviews telling me "Oh I'm Christian and I don't think so." Well obviously. Otherwise you're illiterate because I clearly stated YAOI. If you had a problem, you wouldn't read it. But then again, illiterate would complicate... argh, nevermind.**

**My point is, I appreciate the reviews, but... as terrible as these first stories of mine are, I'm not going to edit them. **

**They are my FIRST fanfics, so therefore they are benchmarks for me to look at later and think, "look how far I came." So no editing. That means you can stop telling me what you think could be fixed because trust me, I KNOW. **

**Horrible grammar, terrible plots, cliched story line, overly dramatic, overly angsty, hard to follow in certain parts, unrealistic, Gaara-as-an-emo, Naruto-as-concerned-by-friend. Yeah, I know. **

**But the real purpose of this note is this: **

**I. Am. Not. Anti-Christian. I was. But not anymore. So don't try and "convince" me or argue with me because I got it. Long time ago. you're a bit late. **

**Thanks for reading. And reviewing. Even though I just ranted in an entire Author's note about reviews that doesn't mean I don't appreciate it.**


	2. The Taste of Suigetsu Is Disgusting

"Something the fuck is wrong with you," Suigetsu cursed at Naruto.

"Me? I'm not the guy trying to steal my boyfriend!" Naruto shouted, not caring that everyone in the room was edging away from him. Well, not Gaara. He glared at all of them. It was like they thought gay was some awful disease you could catch by being in the same room as a homosexual. He couldn't understand why people hated gays so much. Couldn't, wouldn't and didn't understand them. He hated their close-minded stupidity. He'd already gotten a lot of nasty notes taped to his locker, telling him he was going to hell. There were a lot of death threats too, threats he had to throw away before Naruto saw. The blond would surely make a big deal about it. He'd worry and panic over something as trivial as little kids taping notes on his locker. Little kids who wouldn't look passed their own damn noses. Why couldn't they accept that he and Naruto were different? Because they're fucking idiots.

"You pathetic cunt-"

"You filthy bastard!"

Naruto lunged at Suigetsu again. The boy rolled away from him, pushing himself off the ground and back onto his feet with a graceful move. "You know your boyfriend tastes great, right?" Suigetsu taunted. Gaara glared at him, blushing furiously. "Aw, that's so cute, look he's getting a little blush," Suigetsu smirked. He held both fists up and grinned wickedly. He really wanted to beat Naruto to a pulp, but he couldn't go to the principal again. Not that he was scard of Tsunade, just that if he was suspended he wouldn't get to mess with all the little kiddies here every day anymore.

Naruto's face was getting redder by the second the angrier he got. Gaara grabbed his arm in a vice grip. "No," he whispered. "Not again." Naruto glanced at him and took a deep breath. "This is going too far," he said, his voice tight as he attempted to keep himself from yelling or snapping at Gaara. "He-he kissed you." Gaara bit his lip, feeling guilty. "I wasn't blaming you or anything," Naruto said quickly, correctly interpreting Gaara's silence. "I know it wasn't your fault. I-I just so fucking tired of Suigetsu being an asshole-"

"Hey, Naruto, you should be happy. That's probably the best kiss he's ever gotten. And even better, from a real guy. Seriously, you should grow a pair."

That did it.

Now Naruto wrenched himself firmly but gently away from Gaara.

He lunged at Suigetsu, swinging his fists and cussing him out.

Suigetsu skidded back, knocking and shoving quite a few people off their feet, making quite the chaos. He grinned and raised his fist as Naruto approached, charging again.

But Naruto slowed down as Gaara wrapped his arms around Naruto's shoulders and immobilized him. The blond struggled, but he wasn't willing to hurt his redhead, so made no progress.

"Suigetsu, enough. They're not worth your time."

That did it.

Naruto stopped moving. His eyes widened and he bit his lip. He stiffened and Gaara released him. "Naruto," he whispered. He edged forward and eyed Naruto worriedly. The blond looked like he was going to cry. And maybe he was. His eyes were watery and his lip was trembling. He frowned bitterly. "I was worth your time once," Naruto whispered. He wished he knew why. Why the raven-haired Uchiha was suddenly so cold to him.

"Come on, Suigetsu," Sasuke commanded. A flicker of irritation ran through Suigetsu's eyes, but he did relax and grin at the raven "See ya'," he said, winking at Gaara, who flipped him the finger.

"You really want to?" Suigetsu said suggestively, swinging his hips slightly.

"Suigetsu, enough," Sasuke said icily. Suigetsu may be a year older (he'd been held back for a year, so was in their year if you don't recall), but he himself was stronger and smarter. He was probably the only one who had control over Suigetsu Hozuki, and it was limited. If he stopped Suigetsu from doing something nasty, he had to promise to do something equally or nastier than Suigetsu had come up with. Sometimes, but rarely, Suigetsu listened to him without resisting at all or asking for something in return because they were "friends." And sometimes, but not as rarely, Sasuke had to fight him to prove, once again, who was stronger.

Suigetsu followed Sasuke, throwing a flirtatious look over his shoulder that Gaara completely ignored. He grabbed Naruto and pulled the blond to his chest.

He kissed the blond, long and hard. He wasn't a great kisser, but he did manage to get Naruto's mind off Sasuke as he responded to the kiss, wrapping his arms instinctively around the redhead's waist.

"Hey! You two! Get to class! The bell's about to ring!" a teacher barked at the two when it was obvious they wouldn't break apart anytime soon.

Naruto pulled back out of their kiss reluctantly. "I don't want to go to class," the blond complained.

"Too bad," the redhead told him, not letting go of his neck. "We skipped yesterday, we're not skipping today."

"Then at least come to my locker with me," Naruto pleaded. "Just to delay our tragic parting?"

Gaara shook his head with some amusement, but followed Naruto back to his locker. There, Naruto pinned him against the locker, kissing him again, ignoring the bell ringing overhead. Gaara was slightly uneasy, having been in this same position with Suigetsu almost a moment ago. But this was different. A different person, a different attitude, different everything. And he actually enjoyed kissing this person. With Suigetsu, he was aroused, but unwillingly so, being a hormonal homosexual fifteen year old boy. With Naruto, it was more than that. It was a lot more than that.

Just as Naruto started to go to his classroom in a different direction, Gaara grasped his shoulder and kissed him, briefly. "What was that for?" the blond asked. "Not that I'm complaining." In fact, he was rather happy that Gaara seemed willing to kiss him at any time for no apparent reason.

"Just trying to get the taste of Suigetsu off my mouth."

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><p><strong>Hey there. <strong>

**Battenburg 507, HeartsNaruto, Sukaretto Miyuki, Twilight star in the dark fire, you're all awesomeness because you're not only here, but reviewing. Some of you even checked out my other Naruto stories and R&R-ed. I can't express in writing just how awesome that makes you. I wonder if I've ever met you on the street without knowing?**


	3. People Change

Art class was the class he dreaded the most.

Why?

Because he found Art boring.

Because he disliked Sasori staring at him with sad eyes.

Because he disliked Deidara eagerly telling him how Art was an explosion of color and beauty.

Because he disliked it when both of them pestered him to join the Art club.

And it might also have something to do with the fact that Sasuke Uchiha was sitting right next to him and the silence could get uncomfortable.

Now he usually didn't care about being shunned. Normally, he welcomed silence. Having someone he disliked shunning him seemed like a gift. Except, of course if the person shunning him was a complete asshole who'd hurt his boyfriend. Except, of course if the person shunning him was friends with one of the guys who made his life hell and actively participated. Except of course if the guy shunning him liked to cause nasty "accidents." And always went into full denial whenever he was asked what exactly had happened. For example, Gaara had been walking beside a shelf full of open paint cans. He'd been minding his own business, just passing by with his eyes on his sketchpad, when suddenly, the shelf shook. And the blue paint can had fallen from the top shelf.

Drenching his fiery red hair with blue.

The redhead, well underneath all that gooey mess, had gasped and rubbed anxiously at his sketchpad. It was completely soaked. He cussed angrily and glared around the room. And saw Sasuke laughing on the other side of the room. He was too far away to have done it. Directly, that is. Gaara was sure, looking at the mocking glint in Sasuke's eyes, that the raven had something to do with it. He was guilty. Unfortunately, there was no way he could prove it. All he could do was go to the bathroom and wash himself off the best he could. A ghost of a smile flitted across his lips as he thought of Naruto's reaction to that incident.

_"Hey Gaara- have you dyed your hair?" _

_"..."_

_"It's very cute." _

_"...Art class..." _

_"Oh, you painted your hair blue in Art class? It's really hot. Blue hair. You should get it professionally done." _

_"I didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident. And I think Sasuke was behind it." _

_"Sasuke?" _

And after that, it was mostly just angry swearing and an explosive rant about Sasuke. And then some more cussing as Naruto spotted Gaara's sketchpad, soaked and stained.

"Something you want?" Gaara snapped.

He was tired of the raven haired Uchiha staring at him. If the Uchiha stared at him too long, he felt vulnerable, translucent, like everything was on display. Things he didn't want anyone to see. No one but Naruto. And he hadn't let Naruto in, not on purpose. The blond had wormed his way in, through his weakened shields. Something about Naruto wasn't aggressive and prying. He was gentle and caring, and Gaara was glad Naruto had made it through. But Sasuke? He felt like he was being attacked. Physically. And mentally. He was sure, with those gray calculating eyes on him, that Sasuke was coming up with some nasty prank to play on him.

"You look different," Sasuke said.

"What are you planning to change my hair color again?"

"You can't prove that," the Uchiha said smoothly. The redhead shot him a glare.

"Yeah, you see? That glare. It's nowhere near as intimidating as it was before. What happened to you?"

Gaara put down his pencil. His hand curled into a fist and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Then he turned to the raven and stared him directly in the eye evenly. "What do you want from me?"

"You used to be pretty cool. Now you're all... different. Is it because of Naruto? I remember how you were. You were really strong. I would now, I fought you, remember? You attacked me for no reason. And suddenly, now you're all submissive. Like this morning? Seriously, you could've beaten Suigetsu to a bloody pulp, but you didn't. You've done it before. What's so different now? Something about you is different. I think it's your eyes."

Before Gaara could process the strange intensity in Sasuke's eyes, he found the raven's face only an inch away from his.

He stared into Sasuke's eyes. They were like chips of ice. Like daggers.

And it scared him.

Sasuke's eyes were so much like his had been. Empty. Cold.

Dark.

The Uchiha was different too. Much different.

Sasuke's eyes were like his eyes, before Naruto.

And that made Gaara sad. He didn't want anyone to endure the loneliness, the cold emptiness he'd lived his life in. And knowing that Sasuke was isolating himself on purpose, shoving Naruto away and bullying other kids with Suigetsu, manipulating and hurting people for the things he wanted, was so much worse than having known that suffering from the beginning, like he had.

"So are yours, Sasuke."

Sasuke blinked and leaned back on his chair.

"I've changed," he said simply.

"You have. When did you become-?" for a moment, Gaara fished through his brain for a word. Asshole wasn't quite the word he was thinking of. Sasuke had been an asshole before. What he was now, couldn't be defined in one word. "Suigetsu," he finished, for lack of one word. "Me? I'm nothing like Suigetsu," Sasuke scoffed. "I'm smarter and hotter and cooler." He grinned jocularly and Gaara resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sasuke used to have smarter jokes than that. Hanging around morons like Suigetsu would do that to him. "You're smarter. And that can be bad."

"Bad? How is it-?"

"He's a juvenile deliquent. Bordering on criminal. He has a criminal history and he might appear shallow, but he's smart too. He uses people. He'll use you too."

"Ha, he wishes he could!"

"You know what's pathetic?"

"Besides you, you mean?"

Gaara ignored the insult. He had a point and he wanted it to get across.

"You don't even know. He's already changed you. After one day with him, you became instant friends and suddenly, you threw Naruto, your best friend, out the door like he's trash. And you don't think that's manipulating you in any way."

"Just because you're gay for that faggot doesn't-"

And suddenly, Sasuke yelped.

As his seat was yanked back and out from under him. He fell, but being rather dexterous, he landed on his feet, knees slightly bent to absorb the impact.

"What the fuck?" he cussed angrily. "What-?"

Deidara glared at him, arms crossed.

"I won't tolerate with shit like that in my classroom, un. I don't like that word and if I hear it from you, un, I'm gonna shove a-"

Before he could finish his threat, Sasori cut in.

"You two, seperate. Gaara sit over there, by the paint shelves and Sasuke, stay where you are. Oh and stay after for a few minutes. Not a request. An order."

Sasuke glared daggers at Gaara. He still had a lot of things he wanted to say to the redhead, but there was nothing he could do with the bitchy teachers both glaring at him. He resolved to finish their talk later. Now, he had to accept defeat. Or at least, appear to.

And on the other side of the room, Gaara closed his eyes and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. Sasuke, where was Naruto's best friend? In a selfish way, he was glad Sasuke had changed and was now shoving Naruto away. Sasuke had been Naruto's best friend from the very beginning. Sasuke had no mental problems or a seriously whacked up head. Sasuke had been there for Naruto from the beginning, been there for as long as Naruto could remember. And he couldn't help but feel jealous. Jealous that Naruto was constantly glancing at the raven and worrying about him and talking about him. Oh sure, Naruto mostly cussed him out in his little rants. But every day, he brought up Sasuke's name, negatively, but still. Naruto obviously cared about him a lot. And was obviously being torn apart every time Sasuke was an asshole to him. His jealousy melted away to be replaced with anger at the Uchiha. Why was he so different now? Was it because of Suigetsu? Or was it because of him? Had he accidently wormed in between Naruto and Sasuke's relationship? Guilt dropped into his stomach. Was the gap between Sasuke and Naruto all his fault?

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><p><strong>Once again, Alcorion has told me an excellent point. So sorry. Didn't mean to bring my religion into my stories. Sorry, I went back and re-read the first chapter and geez, I'm so sorry that happened. Thanks Alcorion, I promise to all of you to tone down my opinions. If you want to know my opinion, it's all in my profile. I don't need to say it again in my stories. Sorry. Again. Will tone it down. Ah, I could punch myself in the face for being preachy and completely ruining the first chapter. <strong>


	4. No One Understands

Gaara didn't reply. He didn't blush or react in anyway as they talked to him. He stared straight ahead, trying to keep his attention on... nothing. Ignore them, ignore them, ignore them, where was Kurenai? Oh yeah, she'd left the classroom to talk to Kiba about his grades. Or something. He hadn't really been paying attention. Not until she'd left and suddenly everyone was talking. At first, everything had been fine. Gossip. Gossip. Gossip. All about people he didn't know or particularly care about.

And then he'd heard Naruto's name.

That got his attention.

"I heard Naruto's gay."

"Yeah, tell us something we don't know. What a freak."

"Yeah whatever, like you said, old gossip. He's a faggot."

"Guys, seriously, not cool. I know Naruto, he's cool. He's just being a freak like always. He likes going against the crowd, that's all."

"Yeah, this is kind of pushing it, though if he just wants attention. I don't think he's faking it, but man, is that weird to consider. Seriously, who would've ever guessed?"

"I know, right? He seemed all hung up over Sakura for so long and now, suddenly he swings for the other team?"

"That's not nearly as shocking as that Sabaku kid being gay."

"Oh yeah! That's totally weird, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Gaara doesn't seem gay or even interested in any gender at all."

"Yeah and why would he go for Naruto, of all people?"

"Maybe they both want attention?"

"Are you kidding me? Naruto I could see doing that, but Gaara? No way, the kid's been siddling out of the spotlight all year!"

"They're kind of cute together-"

"Are you kidding me?"

"What? Guys can like girls making out but girls can't like guys making out? Geez, I think it's hot."

"You're as weird as they are."

"Bite me!"

"I would, but I don't know who did you last."

"Oh my god, he's right, I heard you hooked up last Friday!"

After that, they started bantering and Gaara's attention had drifted. He hadn't learned anything new, except maybe that he should stay away from that weird girl who'd spoke at the end. In all honesty, the word gay seemed kind of awkward to him. Gay just seemed like a label to him. He wasn't sure what he thought of it. So he was attracted to guys. And was a guy himself. Okay. In all honesty, though, he wasn't really attracted to guys. He was just attracted to Naruto. And there wasn't a word for that. There wasn't a label for that. But if there was, he'd wear it proudly.

And then, his thoughts had been interrupted.

A few guys and girls came over to him.

And he felt panic jump through his chest as he realized he was surrounded.

He didn't like large groups of people. Especially not around him. Especially not this close to him. He felt trapped.

At first, it seemed friendly enough.

"Hey Gaara, what's up?"

And then, they started joking. But the thing is, the stuff they were saying might've sounded light-hearted and casual, but it was embarrassing and kind of offensive to him.

"So uh, do you guys... you know, get freaky?"

"Some people saw you two getting out of the closet once-?"

"Is it cramped in there?"

"That's kinky, man. Which one of you, like, you know, tops?"

Now Gaara was doing his best not to blush or move.

They didn't seem to care that he wasn't responding. They just kept chattering and laughing at each other's jokes and talking over each other, apologizing, then doing it again, then lapsing into giggles.

"Go away," he said quietly. But of course, his raspy voice wasn't loud enough to penerate their loud chattering.

He hated them. He hated their chatter. With Naruto, at least he could block out the blond's words and focus on his warm emotion and tone. But with them? There was nothing to their chattering. They were empty. Just hot air. No depth, nothing to them. He wished Naruto was in this class. Heh. Strange. At the beginning of the year, he would've been glad the blond wasn't in his class. Actually, he had been. But now, things were different.

He hated how jocular they sounded. They had this tone of voice that he didn't like. It seemed nice and joking, but was really teasing and uneasy. In a way, it was worse than being bullied, because at least when he was being bullied, he could respond with sharp words. But he didn't know how to respond to people who were insulting him unintentionally. Or perhaps intentionally, he thought darkly. "Be quiet, it's none of your business," he said. "Ooh, someone's touchy. If you're regretting coming out of the closet, then maybe you should've stayed in. Literally, the world didn't need to see your little freak show. Real subtle guys, real subtle. I've heard of coming out of the closet, not falling out of the closet."

For some reason, they all found this incredibly funny.

"And seriously, if you're gonna make out in a closet, then why not with a girl? Do girls offend you or something? Cause that's the fun part about them, really."

Gaara eyed the speaker. Sometimes when teenagers start laughing hard, they have a hard time stopping. And then they get this strange look on their faces and they start talking faster and their eyes get unfocused. It's like they're on drugs and high. And it's like they don't know what they're saying or doing. Sometimes, they could get really crazy and start laughing with abandon. Gaara had figured this out after about two weeks. But never before had this kind of behavior been directed anywhere close to him. He wasn't sure how to respond.

Teenagers were so strange. He could never imagine getting this high off... air.

And suddenly, two hands grasped his shoulders.

And the redhead flinched.

He didn't think. All he did was react.

Both hands flew up and , standing up, he shoved the kid away from him.

The boy knocked over two desks and hit the ground hard.

"Leave me alone."

And just his luck, Kurenai came back to the classroom at that moment.

Her red eyes widened as she took in the large amount of kids standing up and talking.

And widened even more as she saw the motionless kid sprawled on the floor, possible unconscious. The redhead let his hands drop to his sides and he sat back down.

"Gaara!"

The redhead sighed. He's in for it now.

* * *

><p>"So, uh, why'd you hit that kid?"<p>

No response.

"Uh, Tsunade said I should talk to you."

Still no response.

"But we kind of talked yesterday and I don't see why we should talk today-"

Gaara ran a finger up the underside of his arm. Earlier in Math class he'd drawn a picture of a gnarled, convoluted tree on it with an ink pen. Now it was smeared a little.

"-Besides the fact that you hit some kid for 'no apparent reason' as I'm told."

Kakashi stared at him, fingers interlinked before his masked face.

"Well, I don't think you're the kind to attack people unprovoked."

_Wrong. I attacked Sasuke Uchiha on the first day of school, remember? And Tsunade already thinks I attacked Suigetsu for no reason. That's why I'm in counseling, right? Because I attack kids unprovoked. _

"How's Naruto?"

Gaara looked up.

Kakashi smiled. "Knew that would get your attention," he said. "I've been hearing some, ahem, interesting rumors about you two-?"

"You're such a pervert."

"Don't you know it?"

Gaara scowled at him, remembering that embarrassing, embarrassing moment when he'd found out Kakashi had watched his first kiss with Naruto.

"Details."

"Go to hell."

"Language, I was just joking, Gaara, lighten up... oh wait, that's Naruto's specialty. Listen, there's really no point in counseling you. We have an appointment today afterschool anyways, so you can go and join Naruto out in the hallway."

"Naruto?"

"He's waiting for you. I don't know how he knows you're here. That's a little creepy, don't you think?"

Gaara glared at him. But as soon as he turns away from Kakashi, he smiled. Naruto was waiting for him. Sure, an outsider could see it as creepy.

But then, an outsider could never understand what goes on between two people. That was apparent. If everyone knew what was going on between the two gay kids, then would they be so quick to judge?

* * *

><p>"It wasn't your fault," Naruto said immediately after Gaara was done muttering the story.<p>

"It was my fault. I hit him, didn't I?" Gaara said with some amusement.

"Yeah, I heard he went flying across the room. Believe it!"

"He exaggerated to get me in more trouble," Gaara said.

"That ass. But still, I hope it hurt when he fell down." The redhead shrugged. Naruto grinned.

"So, uh, you still got it, then huh?"

Gaara stopped walking. "How do you mean?"

"I mean, you-you thought you were... eh, weaker. Without Shukaku, remember?"

The redhead tensed. Just the mention of Shukaku made his gut tighten. Naruto had promised that he wasn't gone, but Gaara couldn't feel him anymore. And, like earlier with Suigetsu, he didn't have strength to fight anymore. Shukaku's strength, his anger, his everything felt gone. And Gaara had a hole where he'd been. Naruto usually filled that space, but when he wasn't around, that hole seemed horrible overbearing. And he'd feel the darkness hovering somewhere on the edge of his mind, just waiting to grab him again. But he no longer desired that safe feeling darkness. He'd learned that he could be just as safe in the light. Truly safe. Temporarily, but truly safe.

"I am. That was just... he tripped."

"Why is your self-esteem so bad?" Naruto sighed. "_Sss-uuuurrreee, _Gaara, he happened to fall back and trip into a wall, right?"

"Naruto, I'm not kidding or being modest or anything. It wasn't, it was... harder," the redhead muttered. "You-you wouldn't understand."

No, Naruto didn't. It didn't make any sense. But then, maybe it did. Confidence had a lot to do with strength. If Gaara didn't think he could do it, then he couldn't. It was Naruto's job do convince him that he could. Naruto rubbed his cheek and chuckled, remembering the time Gaara had punched him. He was sure Gaara still had it. Now all he had to do was maybe provoke Gaara into hitting him again. Then maybe he'd realize he was being stupid. Maybe he'd realize that he still had it. Whatever it was Gaara thought he'd lost.

"Why are you laughing?"

"No reason, just being... me."

* * *

><p><strong>Gym class next. Suigetsu's in their Gym class. Just wanted you to know. <strong>

**No other comments, really. I know, that's weird since I usually have something stupid and meaningless to say. but I can't think of someway to waste your time, so I'm just going to say...**

**Later. **


	5. Gaara and His Baseball Fun

Gaara slipped into the bathroom and changed his uniform quickly. He always did. His rib bandages had been removed and most of his bruises had faded, but he still felt uncomfortable pulling off his shirt, out of habit. He was still sore and his limbs still hurt, but that wasn't enough to get him out of Gym class. All he could do was lean against the bathroom stall and wait, pretending to use the bathroom, trying to postpone the inevitable for as long as possible. But Lee and Guy were all too ready to drag him out.

"Gaara! Come out so that we may train."

_It's not training, it's just a load of sweaty kids running around a gym. _

"Do not be so down in the dumps! Come, Gaara! We shall explore the power of youth together! Do not hide from the world around you! Embrace it!" Gaara closed his eyes. Lee was doing the exact opposite of what was intended. He'd rather stay in this bathroom stall, thank you, than embrace the world around him. But he couldn't, unfortunately. He unlocked the stall. And almost flinched at just how close Lee was to the stall door. They were eye to eye, kissing distance, and the redhead backed up. _Personal space, weirdo, _Gaara thought.

His wrist was grasped and he was dragged unwillingly through the lockers and into the Gym.

Today, to his extreme unease, they were playing softball. With metal bats and softballs. What the hell? Why would they supply a school with baseball bats? It was a bad idea.

With the girls, who barely knew how to hold their bats and their wild swinging.

With the boys who knew how to swing and were in danger of hurting someone should they hit the ball wrong or in the wrong direction. Too many flying hazards, too much running, too much dirt, too much danger. He didn't want to play.

"Too bad, today you're playing, Sabaku!" Guy proclaimed loudly. Gaara didn't even have to ask him anymore. All he had to do was go up to Guy and look at him and the coach would reply to the unspoken question.

Gaara was placed on a team. There were actually four games going on at once, and to Gaara's extreme discomfort, Suigetsu and Naruto were on one side, while he and Sasuke were on the opposite side. Naruto shrugged at Gaara from the outfield. He mimed holding a baseball bat and swinging it at Suigetsu, which elicited a small smirk from Gaara, but he was still a little disappointed not to be on Naruto's team.

He delayed as long as possible by hanging back and getting to the end of the batting line whenever he had to take a turn. His team didn't mind. Sasuke was their best hitter and one less bad hitter up to bat was better, they figured.

But Guy had suspected he would do that. He was watching the redhead and before he could siddle to the back of the line, his hand grasped Gaara's shoulder.

Ignoring the redhead's tensed muscles, he said, loudly, "Gaara's batting!"

Immediately, his team groaned. Except for Rock Lee, who whooped and cheered, both arms upraised. "Yay Gaara! You can do it! Show both teams what you've got!"

Rolling his eyes, Gaara went grudgingly to the base. _Am I supposed to stand on it or behind it? _he wondered. Then just figured standing behind it would have to do.

He gripped the bat tightly and clumsily.

Suigetsu was pitching.

_Well, fuck. Thanks a lot, Guy. _

Naruto was worried as well_. Throw too hard or too low or fuck around in anyway and I'll beat you to death with a bat, _he threatened inwardly. He figured Suigetsu could figure it out.

Suigetsu grinned.

He threw the softball.

Gaara swung his bat and cussed as he missed completely. The ball slammed into the metal fence behind him, making it rattle loudly. Several girls, who'd been leaning against it, screamed. One of them picked up the ball and threw it back to Suigetsu.

"Hey! Hozuki! No over-hand pitching in softball!"

"Sorry, Coach, forgot!"

Gaara gritted his teeth. He held his bat again. He didn't want to endure two more pathetic attempts to hit the ball. He knew he was going to strike out. Why was Guy torturing him?

The next swing he missed.

_One last time before I get to go sit down somewhere, _he thought. _One more wretched swing. _

Suigetsu threw it, under hand like he was supposed to.

Gaara swung his bat, not expecting to hit it or even come close. He just wanted to sit down.

The ball glanced off the end of his bat. "That's a bunt. Run!"

"What?" Gaara asked. "Bunt! It's legal. Run!"

Gaara really didn't want to. But what else could he do?

So he did.

And the next thing he knew, he was falling to his side, onto the hot dirt. He grasped his side. His hip felt like it was on fire. "Fucking shit," he whispered, coughing and spitting out dust. He curled into a fetal position instinctively, but it hurt so much to move his leg. He groaned.

He heard some kind of scuffling behind him and a familiar voice cussing and swearing angrily.

Gaara pushed himself up, gasping at the white hot pain in his thigh, even going down to his leg. He turned to look at the commotion.

Suigetsu and Naruto were wrestling in the dirt.

"You ass-!"

"I forgot!"

"You forgot you're not supposed to peg a fucking baseball-"

"Softball!"

"I don't give a fuck! You don't peg a ball at a runner, you tag them or you throw the ball to the base, you don't-!"

Gaara sat up, feeling a little dizzy for no apparent reason.

"Gaara, are you okay?" Lee asked. "Fine," the redhead sighed. He got to his knees, then stood up, though his hip gave him a lot of hell as he did.

Guy grabbed the scruffs of the two boys' necks and yanked them apart. Naruto was small enough to hang from his fist while Suigetsu managed to touch the ground and throw himself in Naruto's direction. Not that Guy was having any of that. He yanked Suigetsu back, one handed, with enough force to throw him back. The white haired boy coughed in the dirt, but he seemed to get that the coach meant business and stayed back. "Hozuki, that was uncalled for! You're out of the game! Go sit on the side and do fifty push-ups. Naruto, calm down! Gaara, are you okay? Go down to the nurse. Naruto, walk it off."

Guy let go of Naruto's shirt and the blond fell to the ground unceremoniously. He got up immediately and was at Gaara's side almost simultaneously.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm going to kill Suigetsu," Gaara murmured.

"Not if I get to him first. Need help walking?"

"I'm fine. I just need a bag of ice."

* * *

><p><strong>Random fact: I hate baseball. <strong>

**Give me a good reason why you shouldn't review. **

**Now give me a bad reason why you shouldn't review. **

**JK, thanks to Battenburg507, HeartsNaruto, Sukaretto Miyuki, DarkAngelJudas, Alcorion, anonymous reviewer Twilight star in the dark fire, and Miyuki-Furukawa for reviewing. **

**Question for Twilight star in the dark fire: Does your name mean you like Twilight or just your name because it's pretty and poetic? **

**I do have a question for all of you, though. **

**What'd you think of this chapter? **

**That's all. See ya. **


	6. Boundaries Crossed

"You don't peg softballs-"

"Are you on your period-?"

"Boys-!"

"Grow a pair, stop being such a-"

"Gaara hasn't done anything to you-"

"No, but I know he wants to. He thinks I'm hot-"

Angry spluttering.

"Boys-!"

"You-you'ver got to be kidding me, he-he thinks you're as appealing as a-as a piece of dry rot!"

"More appealing than you-"

"I can't believe you two are discussing how appealing you find yourselves-!"

"You complete jackass, I'm gonna-!"

"Language!"

"English! Hey Naruto, how's Gaara's hip looking?"

"You-!"

"ENOUGH!"

* * *

><p>"Uh, Tsunade chewed me out when I went to the principal's office," Naruto sighed. "Suigetsu was being an asshole, as usual though, so she should've yelled at him instead."<p>

"She doesn't bother with him because she knows she can't change him," Gaara said.

Naruto shifted closer to the redhead.

"How's your leg?"

"The swelling's gone down. It hurts to sit. I hate baseball."

"Softball."

"Not the way he was throwing."

Silence.

"You know, you really should eat something."

Pause.

Naruto felt the weight in his lap lessening considerably. The blond grinned in the darkness.

"Good boy."

"Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"I'm not a dog."

"Oh, sorry. Listen, Gaara, now that you can eat and stuff, I was just thinking, maybe we should start eating in the cafeteria-?"

"No."

"It smells like chemicals in here."

Silence. Naruto continued.

"It's cramped in here."

"You don't like being close to me?"

"It-it's not that- oh I see, you're trying to play the guilt card on me! I just think that, maybe you should... socialize a little?"

Silence.

Naruto felt Gaara's leg tense up beside his.

He waited for Gaara's response, either telling him, in some way, that he was a fool or hitting him.

"You can't see this, but I'm rolling my eyes."

"Aw, come on-"

"Naruto, not everyone can be social butterflies like you."

"You don't have to be a social butterfly. I just think that, maybe if you socialized a little more with human beings, than maybe it would-?" Naruto paused, searching for the word he was looking for.

"Normalize me?"

"Yeah, that's the word! Gaara, not all people are monsters. There are some really nice people out there. You shouldn't reject everyone before getting to know them."

There was a pause and Naruto worried. What was Gaara thinking? Was he offended? There was no point in saying anything, though. The blond knew he'd speak when he wanted to.

"Naruto, I didn't ask you to sit in here with me. If sitting here makes you uncomfortable, then you should leave. I would hate to make you do something that makes _you _uncomfortable."

"Gaara- I didn't mean-I meant that you-"

Naruto felt Gaara standing up and heard him carefully picking his way through the closet. He saw a brief flash of light as the door swung open, but it was gone the moment the door shut.

Leaving the guilty feeling blond, now alone, in the darkness.

* * *

><p>No substitute.<p>

Gaara wasn't sure if he was happy about this.

No substitute in Computer class meant they had arranged seating.

It meant Naruto couldn't sit next to him, or do anything more than stare mournfully at Gaara from a distance.

Was he happy about that or was he upset about that?

Gaara idly tapped his keyboard with his pencil.

Naruto had crossed a boundary. People? Socializing? Naruto couldn't possibly be that dumb. Just the thought of that crowd, people on either side of him, chattering and talking to him, panicked him. It would be like drowning, suffocating in a sea of kids, kids who not only thought he was a freak, but knew he was gay. He didn't want to socialize or interact with humans in general. Why couldn't Naruto respect that? Or at least understand his desire to be alone? Yes, he loved Naruto and his company, but that was different, because Naruto was different. Naruto was special. Gaara didn't believe there was anyone out there like him.

Immediately, guilt dropped into his stomach. Naruto was the only human being he cared about. He'd been so busy thinking about himself he hadn't stopped to think of what Naruto was trying to do. Naruto cared about him, and he was only trying to help. It had been a bad idea, but he shouldn't have snapped at the blond. He should've just told Naruto it would make him uncomfortable. The blond would've understood. Maybe he should've given Naruto a chance to understand before snapping at him. Had he shoved the blond away for caring? Maybe he'd over-reacted.

Gaara wanted to talk to the blond now, but part of him still felt the blond had overstepped a boundary. Naruto had to understand he was uncomfortable with other people and he didn't want to meet any of them. Naruto was rather naive. Naruto was bright and happy. He could make friends easily and he liked making friends, liked being around people. He could take the best out of people. Gaara couldn't. He could only see the worst. He didn't want to dig passed the outside wall, that perfect facade most people wore. Not when he himself had to have his own ice wall broken. Leave digging to Naruto. Making friends was too much... effort. Naruto shouldn't have pushed that idea on him. He felt guilty for over-reacting to a simple suggestion, but he wasn't going to talk to Naruto just yet.

* * *

><p>"Today, hmmm, we're ssstudyyy-ing... hmmhmm," Orochimaru drew the word out with a breathy moan.<p>

Gaara flipped his science textbook open, wishing he could skip this class. Or at least, have a different teacher. Orochimaru was creepy.

He couldn't care less about what they were studying, but he did take notes, though his mind was far away from them. Perhaps not too far away, as his thoughts were on Naruto, who was sitting a few seats away.

Should he apologize? Or just tell him how he felt?

His thoughts were interrupted as he felt someone's hand on his shoulder. He flinched, his shoulders tensing. "Gaaaa-raaah, are you listening?"

"Yes."

"What did I just say?"

"Are you listening?"

"Cheeky, aren't you?"

Gaara didn't respond, but he was getting increasingly uncomfortable as he felt Orochimaru's warm breath on his neck. "You're not even on the right page." Gaara shuddered as a long tongue flicked against his neck.

Someone-murder-him-now.

"Just focus on... science for me, will you?"

Boundaries, boundaries.

He looked straight ahead, trying not to move.

He met Naruto's eyes.

They weren't amused at all.

They weren't just disgusted, they were angry, possessive. He looked like any second he was going to lunge at their teacher. Maybe he was.

_Calm down, Naruto, _Gaara told him with his eyes. _Calm down. _

_I'm sorry, _Naruto mouthed, his face changing to apologetic. _Can we talk later? _

Gaara nodded, just barely.

And shook as black hair brushed against his cheek.

"Mr. Orochimaru, please, personal space."

"Mhhmmm."


	7. An Unlikely Savior

"Gaara, I'm sorry I-"

"No, Naruto, you have nothing to apologize for. I was wrong, I shouldn't have overreacted. Thanks, I appreciate your concern, but-"

"I get it, Gaara. I'm sorry. I-"

"Can we just put this behind us?" Gaara asked.

"If I get a make-up kiss," Naruto said, smiling slyly. Gaara grinned and leaned forward.

"Ew, you guys are so disgusting," a girl a few lockers down squealed. Naruto threw her a disgusted look while Gaara just glared at her. "Get a room!"

"You get a room," Naruto murmured angrily. "Come on, Gaara, let's go."

"I can't."

"What? Why not?"

"Counseling session."

"Oh, yeah. I'll wait for you."

"I can't stay over tonight. I have to go to my house after school today."

"Why?"

"Because-" how could Gaara explain how guilty he felt? Staying with Naruto had been great, wonderful, but he'd found himself drawn back home. He didn't like burdening Naruto. He didn't know what about him appealed to Naruto. Naruto did so much for him. He'd done everything for him. He'd been there for him in his times of need. And Gaara never felt like he did anything for the blond. That guilt festered in his chest. Gaara often wondered what he could do for the blond that would tell him just how much he appreciated the blond's presence in his life. He still found it hard to understand love. He still felt like he needed to do something in return for Naruto's kindness, for his friendship.

"Temari wants us to have family time," Gaara invented quickly.

"Oh. Why?"

"She feels guilty," the redhead said curtly. That part actually wasn't a lie. She did feel guilty. And she did invite him over for dinner often. Looks like he was going to have to go home today. Oh well. He'd have to sleep at his own house for once. Alone with only Temari and Kankuro. Home didn't seem nearly as bad when his father wasn't there, but it was a long way from feeling safe and cozy inside. Kankuro and Temari tried way too hard to interact with him and he found himself shut up in his room whenever he visited. Forcing himself to have dinner with his family was only marginally better than burdening Naruto.

"Oh. Well, I guess, um, I'll-see you," Naruto said. "I guess I'll go home then." He started to leave, seeming kind of hesitant. He took a step, then jerked to a stop. He spun on his heel and grasped Gaara's neck. He pulled the redhead close and they kissed briefly. Over Gaara's shoulder, Naruto flipped the digusted looking girl his middle finger. She scowled at him and opened her mouth to say something, but the blond spoke first, loudly drowning out whatever she'd been about to say. "Bye," the blond said loudly. "See you later. I'll miss you!"

Gaara shook his head at the blond's audacity. "I'll miss you too," he whispered in the blond's ear.

* * *

><p>"So, eh, why did you hit that kid?"<p>

Gaara eyed the cover over Kakashi's eye. He knew the story to Kakashi's eye and scar. The story mirrored his own. He didn't care if his own story ended like Kakashi's. He just wanted Naruto in his life. Anything after that didn't matter to him. As long as he had Naruto, it didn't matter what happened to him. He'd gladly take the beating every day for the rest of his life without complaint if it meant Naruto was okay and would always be his friend. He didn't want Naruto to end up like Obito. He would rather suffer than left Naruto die for him, like Obito had for Kakashi. Honestly, the thought terrified him. Maybe it was because he knew that if he lost Naruto, then he'd never recover.

"He touched me."

"Ah. Boundaries. I get it. You don't like people touching you. Perfectly reasonable," Kakashi agreed. "You shouldn't have hit him."

Gaara didn't say anything.

"Is there any particular reason besides him touching you that you hit him?"

Silence. Kakashi watched Gaara carefully. Gaara was a bit of a full-time occupation. He had to watch him very carefully to spot that rare flicker of emotion. Lately, though, his walls had been damaged and crumbling. So it had been easier, for a time, anyway. Then Gaara had slipped back into ice fortress. But the good news was, ice could be thawed. His old shields had been pure iron and steel, coated in ice. But now, it was just ice. Much easier for him to work with.

"Maybe he was antagonizing you before Kurenai came in?"

Silence. The answer was probably yes. If it was no, then Gaara had just attacked him because of that physical contact. But for some reason, Kakashi thought it was more than that. So he decided to dig a little.

"So he was antagonizing you while she was out of the room. About what? Naruto?"

No physical reaction. Kakashi saw a small glint in Gaara's eyes, just the slightest blink and knew he was right. Okay, something about Naruto.

"Were they talking about your sexuality?"

Again, another slight blink and a slight head movement.

"Okay, so it was about you being gay. Were they teasing you? Was that why? Were they-?"

"I just hate them."

Kakashi's mouth dropped. Gaara refrained from looking directly at him. The counselor stared at him. "You answered me," the white haired man said. "You actually answered me."

"Don't sound so happy."

"Oh right, you're Gaara and you don't do happy. So you hate them? Well that's a perfectly good reason to hit someone. It's certainly normal for kids to respond with violence. It's expected. But what is not expected was your reply. Oh man, I am a good counselor!"

"Right."

"You can go now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not? Leave me to bask in self-confidence and the feeling of mission accomplished."

* * *

><p>Gaara left the counseling session, glad that that particular session wasn't mentally taxing like most session with Kakashi tended to be. He hadn't been put in any emotional or mental struggles or awkward silences. He hadn't- Gaara's train of thought changed course in an instant as a thin, strong arm grabbed him around the waist and yanked him around the corner. He swung his fist and punched the person. He was extremely satisfied as his fist made contact with the person's face. And smirked as the person slammed into the locker with a bang.<p>

"I knew you had some strength left."

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "What do you want, Hozuki?"

"You."

Gaara hissed as Suigetsu lunged up from the ground at him. He lashed at the boy with a fierce kick and his foot made contact with his cheek. Sugetsu's head snapped sideways and his whole body rolled to the side. He lay on his side for a moment, then rolled back onto all fours. Grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Is that all you've got?" He stood up and blocked Gaara's punch easily. "God, that's pathetic," Suigetsu taunted. He grasped Gaara's wrist and yanked him close, pulling an arm around Gaara's back, pinning them together. "You're on camera," the redhead gasped, trying to push himself away. To no avail. Suigetsu was stronger than him, damnit.

"I don't care. It means I have an audience," Suigetsu purred.

Gaara managed to shove him back, forcing him back a few inches. He glared at the white haired teenager angrily. "Leave me alone," he growled.

"Are you going to make me?"

Suigetsu lunged forward, pinning him to the lockers again before he could do anything. The redhead grunted and tried to knee him in the crotch, but Suigetsu pinned his legs down with his hips. He pressed himself as close as possible and forced his lips down onto Gaara's. The redhead growled, but the vibrations just excited Suigetsu more. The boy's hand crept to Gaara's injured hip. He squeezed and Gaara gasped, allowing the other teenager to slip his tongue into his mouth. Gaara tried to bite him, but Suigetsu bit him first, biting his lip and drawing blood. Gaara whimpered in pain. He tried to shove Suigetsu off, but the teenager grabbed both of his wrists and slammed both of them with crushing force against the lockers. He leaned in for another kiss and Gaara turned his face away.

But suddenly, Suigetsu was thrown off of him.

Suigetsu, once again, ended up on the floor as he was shoved away from Gaara. He cussed angrily, scrambling to his feet.

Gaara stared at him for a moment. Then he turned his eyes to his savior.

"Kankuro?"

His brother glared at Suigetsu. "Leave my brother alone or you'll never have sex again."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'll rip your fucking dick off. Don't touch him ever again, you fucking piece of shit."

"How do you know he didn't want it?" Suigetsu asked. He started to approach Gaara again. Started being the operative word as Kankuro lunged forward and punched him with enough force to send him slamming back to the ground.

"I'm not stupid. Touch him-"

"What if he wants me to?" Suigetsu asked, winking at Gaara, who wanted to flip him the finger, but was worried he'd take it the wrong way again. Suigetsu got up again, but made no attempt to get closer again, to Kankuro's satisfaction and Gaara's relief.

"I really doubt he'd want a slimy piece of shit like you."

"He dates that little dickless blond, so I think I have a chance." Gaara wanted so badly to punch his face in. But Suigetsu was stronger than him. That was obvious. Without Shukaku, he couldn't win. He couldn't. And now, he felt more useless than ever. Dead weight that everyone had to lug around. He glanced guiltily at Kankuro. Did his brother regret saving a useless deadweight like him? Was he only here because of Temari? Or maybe he was here because he pitied him and felt that helpless creatures should be protected and taken care of.

"Shut the fuck up, you little twat. Come on, Gaara, let's go." Gaara followed his brother out, grabbing his backpack from the outside of the counselor's office. Kankuro glanced at him. "Are you alright?" he asked. Gaara nodded, biting his lip. Then wincing as he felt the open wound. "Bye, Gaara," Suigetsu called softly. The redhead didn't look back, but he inwardly shuddered as he felt the boy's hungry gaze on his retreating back. Falling lower, lower, lower. What would've happened if Kankuro hadn't come in time? Gaara involuntarily shivered. "Why don't you have a jacket? It's freezing outside," Kankuro murmured worriedly. He took off his coat and gave it to Gaara, who just stared at it for a moment, his gaze wandering up to Kankuro's face.

"Thank you."

Kankuro knew he wasn't talking about the jacket.

* * *

><p><strong>Please tell me no one saw that coming. I'm attempting to make this exciting and not boring, so you'll have to tell me how you felt about Kankuro finally doing something right. Oh yeah, and since Alcorion brought up something I felt I should mention. Sasuke's angsty, asshole moments are coming soon, so if you really hate Sasuke, then you have that to look forward to. <strong>


	8. Smiles Are Reserved

"Gaara, what happened in there?"

"You saw everything."

"I mean, why would Suigetsu try and... um, you know?"

"He likes me. What other explanation is there?"

"How long has he, uh, well... has he been bullying you or something?"

Gaara knew the walk home would be awkward, but he hadn't expected Kankuro to actually talk to him. His brother wasn't the prying type. But then, Gaara reasoned, this was just concern, not being nosy. And he felt Kankuro deserved some explanation. "Sasuke Uchiha used to be Naruto's friend, but then for no apparent reason, he became friends with Suigetsu and after that, he didn't want to hang out with Naruto around. But that was around the time when Naruto and I-" he paused, flushing. Kankuro got weirded out every time he was reminded of Gaara's sexuality. He never said anything, but he always got this nervous look in his eye, like all of a sudden he didn't know what to say.

"Started hanging out," Gaara said. "I think Sasuke is angry about that. He might feel replaced or just angry that Naruto found someone so quickly, like he wasn't even missed or important to Naruto in the first place. I think he- he also might, um-" he felt awkward saying this to his older brother. Even if he hadn't been gay, he wouldn't have wanted to talk to his brother about his dating life. "I think he's telling Suigetsu to... do that. To upset Naruto. Or me."

"Oh. Sasuke's a real asshole. Do you want me to beat him up for you?"

Gaara stopped walking.

"No. What, you don't think I can handle things on my own?"

"What? No, I just- Sasuke's an asshole, so I wanted to hit him. I know you can handle yourself-"

"Why do you care?"

"I-Because you're my little brother and big brothers take care of little brothers."

_Then where were you for nine years?_ Gaara appreciated his help, he really did. But part of him still felt bitter. Bitter that Kankuro had been so stupid and hadn't been there when he'd really needed him. And now he was trying to make up for that. Well, Gaara appreciated that, but he still couldn't help but be irrationally angry at Kankuro. Kankuro had been and was the favorite son. Kankuro had been ignorant for so long. And now that he knew, he pitied his little brother and tried to make himself feel better, like the big brother he should've been from the start.

Kankuro sensed bitterness in the air and he had a feeling Gaara was pissed.

"I-I know you can take care of yourself, I'm just saying I want to be there for you."

Gaara's eyes narrowed, but that was the only indication of his anger.

"I-I want to do something for you, for once. I-I feel guilty about not knowing and-"

Gaara couldn't believe he was actually going _there. _

"Listen, Kankuro, thank you for today, but I don't feel comfortable talking to you."

There. It was the blunt truth. Gaara felt a guilty pang as he saw his brother wince, but it was true and Kankuro should know before he decided to run his mouth. And it worked, as Kankuro was silent for the rest of the walk. The silence was only comfortable for one of them. The one who'd initiated the silence.

* * *

><p>Naruto watched the clock impatiently. "Come on, come on, come on," he begged. "Go faster, go faster, go faster!"<p>

He watched the minute hand and the second hand. "Come on!"

"I can't believe you're talking to the clock," Jiraiya murmured from his laptop as he typed his perverted stories.

"Well believe it!"

"Idiot."

Naruto just giggled, keeping his eyes on the clock. "Come on!"

"Yelling at it won't make time faster."

"Talking to me won't finish your book faster, either."

"Cheeky little baka."

"What is a baka? Sounds Hawaiian."

"Not even close. Japanese."

"Aww, not true. Japan is close to Hawaii."

Jiraiya just shook his head. "That's like saying Europe and Asia are the same because they're touching."

"They aren't the same?"

"Where did I go wrong with you?"

Naruto giggled. He eyed the clock again. "You know what, why don't you do something while you're waiting? Like taping your mouth shut!"

"You know what, I think I'll call Gaara."

"If it keeps you from talking to me. Hey, how come he's not staying over anymore?"

"His sister wants some family time or something. His dad isn't there to torment him anymore, so-" Naruto trailed off. Jiraiya understood.

The blond ran upstairs to his room and grabbed the portable phone. He scrolled down the list, looking for the name he wanted. He paused for a moment. Why was Sasuke's number still on his phone? He deleted it. If Sasuke wanted to talk to him, then the raven would have to call him, not the other way around. He found the right number and pressed the button. "Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Oh, it's Temari," Naruto said disappointedly.

"Oh, it's Naruto," Temari said dryly and the blond boy could just imagine her rolling her eyes. "I'm going to assume you're calling for Gaara."

"Great assumption. Is he there?"

"No he- oh wait, he and Kankuro just got home."

Her voice got faint, but he could still hear her.

"Gaara, Naruto's on the phone and he sure as hell doesn't want to talk to me."

There was a brief pause, then-

"Naruto?"

"That's my name. Hey, how'd your session go?"

"Session? Oh, Kakashi was annoying, but no more than usual."

"Okay, that's cool. So, eh, what did you talk about?"

"Give me a moment."

There was a brief pause.

On Gaara's end, the redhead was climbing the stairs to his room. He didn't like talking in front of his siblings. They always looked so stunned to see him speaking more than a few words or a biting insult at a time. "Hey Gaara, dinner's in a few minutes, okay? By that, I mean I'm ordering us some pizza, okay?" Gaara shrugged. "Yeah, okay, see you then," Temari murmured. As soon as Gaara was out of earshot, she murmured, "I wish he wasn't so distant." Kankuro glanced at her. "Yeah," he agreed, a sad grimace on his face as he watched the redhead close his bedroom door behind him with a firm smack.

"Ok, what were we talking about?"

"What were you two talking about today?"

"Me hitting that kid."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool."

Silence on both ends. Gaara sat on the floor and leaned his head against the side of his bed with a sigh.

"Hey Gaara."

Naruto didn't wait for him to answer, since he knew Gaara wasn't going to.

"Can I come over?"

"Come... over?"

"Yeah. If you don't want to sleep at my house, maybe I can sleep at your house."

"I didn't say I didn't want to, I just said Temari wanted me to stay over today."

"Exactly. Why can't I come over?"

"I'll have to ask Temari."

"Then go ahead and ask her."

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"I don't like talking to her in general."

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

"Okay, then give her the phone and I'll ask her."

Gaara shrugged. "If you really want to."

He opened his door, his eyes narrowing in surprise. "Kankuro, what do you want?" he asked curtly.

"I-well, I was, erm, coming to tell you dinner's ready."

"Kankuro?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Temari about today. About... Suigetsu."

"Wha-? Why not?"

"Just... don't."

* * *

><p>Gaara handed Temari the phone. Then he watched as her face changed to an expression of horror.<p>

"You're coming over?" Surprise.

"Why are you coming over?" Horrified.

"Yes, it is a problem! I ordered pizza, moron!" Irritation.

"Oh yeah, like I believe that." Sarcasm. Rolling her eyes.

"Oh. Sorry." Subdued.

"Sure, you can come over." Submissively embarrassed. Gaara wondered what Naruto had just said.

"Can I talk to him?" Gaara asked her. She nodded, handing him the phone. "What did you say to Temari?" the redhead asked.

"Well she was spazzing out because she thought I was coming over to eat all of your food, but I told her I was eating Ramen. Actually, I'm waiting for my Ramen to be done. That's the only reason I called you. No, I'm just playing, I called because I luuuurrrrrrvvvvv the sound of your smexy voice."

Gaara rolled his eyes.

"I can sense you rolling your eyes."

"Give the kid a prize."

Naruto giggled.

"I'll see you after I've eaten."

Gaara smiled.

And Temari dropped the grocery bag in her hand, were it fell to the ground with a thump.

She stared at Gaara, open-mouthed.

The redhead sighed.

_Thanks a lot Naruto. _

He reserved smiles for Naruto. No one else.

Especially not Temari, who looked like she'd been shot, or Kankuro, who was smiling broadly.

* * *

><p><strong>Not really a significant chapter, I just needed to set up the stage for the next chap. <strong>


	9. This Chapter Is An Attempted Lime

**Some really explicit yaoi going on later. You can skip. Yaoi fans will have to tell me how good/bad/shitty I did as I attempt a hot yaoi scene, okay?**

The doorbell rang. All three Sabaku children looked up, eyes tense. Gaara stood up and walked slowly to the door, dread in his gut. Not dread to see Naruto, just dread to see Naruto and his siblings in the same room. He opened the door and let the little blond maniac in. Naruto grinned at him, a bag over his shoulder. He leaned through the doorway and pecked Gaara on the cheek. Inside the dining room, Kankuro coughed loudly, his face coloring quickly. Naruto grinned and Gaara blushed. "That's a cute blush," Naruto said, grinning like a cat. He stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He hung his coat on the hook by the door and shivered. "Is the air conditioner on?" he asked, teeth chattering. "Air conditioner?" the redhead asked. "I meant heater," the blond said hastily. "I figured," Gaara smirked.

"It's cold in here. You're looking a little cold, maybe you want to warm up a little?"

Naruto hugged Gaara and kissed him, square on the lips.

Kankuro choked on his Coke. He coughed, trying to expel the fluid he'd exhaled in shock.

Gaara pushed himself away from Naruto, blushing redder than before. Kissing a guy, anyone really, in front of his brother was plain awkward.

"Later?" Naruto asked.

"Later," Gaara agreed.

"Uh, Naruto, you're here. First, great to see you. Second, stay away from my brother," Temari sing-songed threateningly. "It's my house while we're alone."

"A girl doesn't intimidate me-aaahhh," Naruto ended in a shuddered, nervous giggle as Temari threw him a deadly look.

"Hey Gaara, before you go and play with your blond friend, don't you want to eat something?"

Naruto smiled at her teasing tone.

Gaara did not.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a little kid," he said coldly, so coldly even Naruto winced at the icy venom. "Don't speak like that to me again, or I'll-"

Naruto grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. "Come on," he murmured. "Let's go to your room, okay?"

Gaara closed his eyes briefly, composing himself. He looked at Naruto and nodded. "Thanks," he whispered.

They climbed the stairs, a hurt Temari and a saddened Kankuro downstairs with Gaara's portion of cold pizza. _That was better than I thought it'd be, _Gaara thought. He was glad that Naruto had pulled him away. That "dinner" had been pretty awkward. Gaara had never eaten at the table. He'd always had to... he didn't want to think about it. Let''s just say he's never eaten with Kankuro or Temari after he was six. And it could get awkward, with Temari trying to force conversation and Kankuro timidly throwing in a comment or a question. Needless to write, Gaara didn't contribute, or even bother to keep up with their attempts at bonding. Why, he wondered, could Naruto manage in a few months what they couldn't in years? To him it was obvious. With Naruto, it was easy. With his siblings, it was tense and forced.

"You didn't eat anything?" Naruto asked, sitting on the floor.

"You weren't there," Gaara responded, sitting next to him.

"I'm here now."

"I don't feel like it now."

"Not even for me?"

"Naruto-"

"Alright, I got it. No more pestering. I won't pester you, believe it," Naruto said, responding to the clear warning in Gaara's eyes, though he was disappointed. Sometimes Gaara ate. And sometimes he didn't. It was an improvement from his eating patterns before. But it wasn't enough for Naruto. He frowned at Gaara. But he didn't say anything, knowing Gaara would just shun him. And he didn't want that. Besides, maybe he could convince Gaara to eat something later on.

"Hey Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Huh?"

"What's your favorite color? Like a color that makes you happy inside?" Naruto giggled at his choice of wording. "Or maybe a color that stands out the most to you whenever you see it? Or maybe a color you like to look at? Or-" Gaara covered Naruto's mouth with his hand. "I get it," he said. "I don't have a favorite color." Naruto grabbed his wrist, pulling it away from his mouth. Pain spiked through Gaara's arm as Naruto unknowingly gripped the bruise Suigetsu had left a few hours earlier, but Gaara hid the pain very well. "Really? You don't?"

Gaara shook his head.

"Well you have to. Everyone has to. Unless they're color blind or something. Come on, you've got to have a favorite color. Mine's orange."

He waited.

Gaara just stared back at him.

"Okay, I'll help you pick. You look really cute in black. Do you like black?"

Gaara shrugged.

"Okay. I think you look best in red. It matches your hair. And your eyes."

Gaara rolled said eyes.

"Red is sexy. You should wear red all the time."

Gaara smirked. "You'd like that?" he asked.

"Yeah, I would. Red's sexy, especially on you."

"Maybe I will."

"Really?" Naruto giggled. "That's so sweet."

Gaara scowled at him half-heartedly. "I don't do sweet."

"Aw, that's a lie. You're a real sweetie pie inside. Like a strawberry."

Gaara stared at him. "Did you just call me a strawberry?"

"Why yes I- !" Naruto's words ended in a high pitched yelp.

Gaara had lunged at him, pushing him down to the ground playfully.

"Don't ever call me a strawberry again," he whispered sweetly. "Or I-"

The door swung open. "Eek, no! No! No! No! You two are not! You two are not going to-AARGGH, get off each other!"

Gaara sighed and got off the blond, settling himself a distance away from Naruto that would keep Temari comfortable. "You two! You are not allowed- I won't-that's disgus-"

"What is it, Temari?" Gaara asked quietly, his tone like ice. "What is it? Gay? Is that a problem now? And why, may I ask, did you come up here in the first place?"

"Well, I-uh, I heard Naruto yell and, um, I thought you-he-"

"You think I'm unstable, don't you? You thought I was hurting him, didn't you?" Gaara asked, his tone even. Neither angry, nor upset. Just scary calm. Naruto edged closer to him.

"No-I was just concerned, um, about you two together-alone, I-I was worried Naruto was-"

"I would never hurt him. Intentionally or unintentionally," he said curtly. His eyes seemed to say, _the same doesn't go for you, so back off. _

"I-"

"I don't care if you don't trust me. I care about Naruto's trust. Do you trust me?" Gaara asked, his eyes now on Naruto.

Naruto stared back at Gaara. The redhead's face was apathetic and serious as he asked the question. The blond studied him carefully. He didn't like it when Gaara put up this facade. When Gaara pretended he wasn't human, that he wasn't feeling or vulnerable in anyway. Like he was a rock. But the blond knew from experience that the walls he held up high could be snapped, or at least, penetrated, if he stared hard enough. _His eyes... they're so sad. Almost hurt, _Naruto thought. _Gaara, you always said you didn't care about your siblings. You always seemed to almost hate them... maybe you care more about them than you're willing to admit. _

"Of course I do."

"Then there isn't a problem, Temari. Leave."

The blond girl stared at him. "Gaara, I trust you, I was just worried. Is that really such a sin? I didn't think you were hurting him, I just heard him yell and I responded without thinking. I-" Temari faltered. She backed out of the room. Gaara's glare sent a chill down her back. She couldn't tear her eyes from Gaara's. He seemed so... intense. She knew he could be horribly unstable at times. She knew he could be very, very different from that sad, lonely little kid she saw. She knew he could be... dark and angry. Like now.

But he was different. His eyes were angry... and protective. Fierce and aggressive, but... different. She couldn't quite put her finger on it.

It wasn't a feeling she herself had ever witnessed first hand.

As soon as she was out and the door had swung closed behind her, Naruto talked to Gaara.

"You were a little harsh."

The redhead didn't respond. He didn't even look at the blond, just staring at the door. Naruto frowned and got closer to him until they were inches apart. He stared into Gaara's seafoam eyes. "Gaara?"

The redhead didn't respond.

He was in his own world and Naruto knew from experience that nothing, not a fire, not an earthquake, not a massacre could tear him away from it.

Nothing to be done but wait. Again, something he'd learned from experience. He hated waiting, but it was always worth it in the end.

The blond sat next to him, pressing his body daringly close to the redhead. He fidgeted for what seemed like hours before Gaara gave him the oppurtunity to speak.

"I hate her."

"No, you don't."

"I do. She pretends to trust me, to love me, to care in some way, but it's only because she feels guilty. She doesn't care about me, she cares about herself. She feels guilty about all the years she should've- I can't look at her, she's such a coward. All those years I was alone, all those years she watched my suffering-"

Gaara choked then. He couldn't seem to say anymore and Naruto understood.

The blond put an arm around his neck, tugging him closer. The blond pulled Gaara's head against his neck.

"Gaara-" but Naruto didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to say, so instead, he just held Gaara.

And the redhead understood.

"Naruto-"

Gaara couldn't express with words just how much he loved Naruto at that moment. And how tired he was. How tired he was of feeling like Naruto was the only one who did anything for him. How tired he was of their non mutual relationship. He never made the same effort Naruto did and it killed him inside. Did Naruto know how much Gaara appreciated him? Did he know how different he felt, how different his life looked to him now, how much his world had changed because of the blond?

Fervently, Gaara kissed Naruto, his hands grasping the blond's neck as his body shifted. The blond responded, his own hands grasping Gaara's hips, forgetting about his earlier softball injury. Gaara had forgotten too. At this point, he didn't care about pain. He just wanted to show Naruto just how much he meant to him. He wanted Naruto to know. And this, he felt, was the only and best way. Naruto deserved everything. And he was willing to do anything, give everything to Naruto.

The blond pushed Gaara down gently, straddling the redhead.

Gaara's hands fell from the blond's neck, going lower and lower. He grasped the bottom of Naruto's shirt and tugged at it. He pushed the cloth up and pulled it off, hand tentatively touching Naruto's hard muscles as he did. The redhead admired his muscled, tanned body for a moment. Naruto was so hot, he thought, blushing. His body was so tight, so unlike his own pathetic, scrawny frame. Gaara put both hands, shamefully pale in comparison to the tanned skin, to Naruto's neck again. He pulled the blond down, pressing his lips to Naruto's. He tugged at Naruto's bottom lip gently, causing the blond to gasp and allowing the redhead to push his tongue into his hot, wet mouth.

Naruto groaned and their tongues clashed, sparks flying between them. Gaara was in complete bliss and he wanted Naruto to be in this bliss too. He wanted to take this further. He wanted Naruto to feel his love, for once. The redhead's hand fell to Naruto's waist, then lower, to his hips. He pulled the other boy even closer, until their hips were touching. Naruto grinded against the redhead beneath him and Gaara felt his erection through the clothing. He grinned, tightening his grip slightly on his hips. His hands wandered down, to Naruto's crotch. He undid the blond's belt and pulled down his pants to his knees. Naruto got off him temporarily, yanking the rest of the clothing off and throwing his pants in a random direction. He then turned back to his boyfriend.

Naruto fumbled with Gaara's shirt. It had so many buttons, he thought exasperatedly. When he finally got through that obstacle, he tossed the shirt away. He stared at Gaara's chest for a moment. Gaara was so hot, Naruto thought. Thin and slender, pale and petite. He seemed so delicate. Naruto felt a flicker of guilt, seeing that bruise on Gaara's hip. He fingered the bruise gently for a moment, running his fingers over the bruise. His hand skimmed across Gaara's pale skin, just above his jeans. He leaned down, both hands on either side of Gaara's head, kissing Gaara's chest, leaving a hickey, no doubt. He went up, higher and higher, until he was nibbling at the redhead's neck. Gaara moaned, his tongue slipping out and caressing Naruto's ear.

The blond gasped. He sat up, his hands fumbling at Gaara's belt. The redhead scooted out of his pants, which were discarded carelessly under the bed.

"I'm tired of foreplay," Gaara whispered.

"Yeah, me too," Naruto whispered huskily.

He leaned down, kissing Gaara wildly and passionately once again. Not for the last time that night.

* * *

><p><strong>You guys all can guess what happened after where I left off. <strong>

**Sorry. I can't write a lemon, but I can write a lime. Sorry if this seems like a major, torturing teaser, but really, this is my first attempt at yaoi, at romance, really. So you'll have to tell me how I did. This is their first time. I hope it was hot, or at least, not totally embarrassing. And again, you'll have to tell me. So review. **

**Later. **


	10. Aftermath of Said Lime

**I feel it's necessary to state that some of you will feel stupid. Why is that? Well when I read a smart, reasonable review, I go back to the chapter and edit it. So some of you, not naming names, (Alcorion) will have told me what they thought was bad, and other people reading that review will think they're crazy, because I edited the bit that was being criticized. Well, if reviewers are reading other reviews, that is. Oh wait, why am I wasting your time here? To wrap it up, give me a good and reasonable suggestion and I'll edit. **

**And start: **

Gaara woke up extremely happy. He woke up feeling like a normal person would on a normal morning. For a moment, he felt like the day might be good or bad, like it had promise, like it could be bad, but there was a chance it could be good. The moment slipped away from him, but still. A moment was enough. He sat up. And gasped in pain as his spine hurt. He grunted slightly and shifted. Every muscle screamed with pain, but nothing he'd never felt before. He was tired, his muscles strained, and last night had taken a lot out of him. Gaara glanced down at the sleeping Naruto next to him on the bed. The blond, as if sensing his stare, shifted, mumbling something incoherent.

"We're even," he whispered. "I promise, I love you as much as you love me."

Naruto sighed in his sleep. Gaara smiled at him, putting his hands in his lap. He looked down at his hand, studying the bruising around his wrists. Suigetsu. He'd put his filthy hands on him. But Gaara just couldn't tell Naruto, not after what they'd done that night. No, it was better if he didn't know. He just hoped the school cameras were for surveillance and weren't recording anything that went on in the hallway. He didn't want Naruto to know, ever. He'd have to keep Suigetsu quiet, but how on earth could he keep his mouth shut?

* * *

><p>When Naruto woke up, a few hours later, he woke up the happiest he'd ever woken up, which is really saying something, given the happy, happy morning he always had. The blond woke up to find Gaara watching him. "Gaara, have I ever told you I love you?" the blond murmured as he sat up. "You said it repeatedly last night," Gaara whispered back. He touched Naruto's forehead, brushing his wild blond hair to the side, away from his blue eyes. It was then Naruto noticed some strange bruising around Gaara's wrist. He frowned and grabbed Gaara's wrists gently, inspecting them carefully. Fingers, he thought. "I'm sorry, Gaara, are these my fault?" Naruto asked ruefully, running his thumb over the purple skin.<p>

Gaara hesitated for a moment.

"Gaara, you can tell me," Naruto said.

"Yes," Gaara said guiltily. The blond frowned. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you last night." Gaara wouldn't meet his eyes. Did he feel guilty about getting hurt, rather than the opposite way around, like Naruto feeling guilty about hurting him?

"It's perfectly fine. Last night was amazing. I didn't even feel it," Gaara said.

"I'm still sorry, no need to feel bad," Naruto said. "Once again, your feelings are all wrong."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. You," he said, poking Gaara's chest, "-are supposed to be angry at me for hurting you. You are supposed to yell at me for being rough. You are supposed to be pissed. Not guilty. I'm sorry, man. It doesn't hurt then?"

Gaara shook his head.

"Now you're supposed to hug me. I don't actually know how girls work, though, so I'm not entirely sure how you're supposed to act-"

"Did you just call me a girl?" Gaara asked, his tone menacing.

Naruto's mouth opened and he laughed nervously. "I-I didn't mean it that-that way. I meant that-"

Gaara stood up, his leg giving him some trouble by cramping up.

"Gaara, are you angry?"

No, the redhead wasn't. But he wasn't very happy about being called a girl. Or referred to as a girl, as if he was one.

So he decided to make Naruto suffer a little.

He pulled on some pants, though he wasn't entirely sure if they were his pants or Naruto's. He pulled on a shirt that he was sure was his, since Naruto didn't wear red shirts.

"Gaara, are you going to shun me?"

_Well, yeah. _

"Gaara, don't be so sensitive-"

_You did not just go there. _

Naruto seemed to realize he'd crossed another boundary.

"Listen, I just meant that usually when, you know, people have sex, it's with someone of the opposite gender. And I didn't call you a girl 'cause I think you're girly or anything-"

Gaara was smirking, but all Naruto could see was his back. The truth was, he knew exactly what Naruto meant. But he wanted to make Naruto uncomfortable, so he let the blond "explain."

"It's just that, uh, well I hurt you and, uh, I topped, so um, you were in the position-" now he was blushing furiously. "Why are you making me say this? You understand right?"

"I don't think I do, want to explain it to me?"

Gaara went into the kitchen and Naruto followed him.

"Are you torturing me?" Naruto pouted. "You are, aren't you? You're so mean!"

Gaara opened the fridge. He looked inside briefly.

He tossed Naruto some frozen pizza, leftovers from last night. The blond caught the bag and glanced at it. "Not Ramen, but it'll do."

He sat at the kitchen table. "Hey Gaara, you're eating, right?"

The redhead paused. Well his stomach felt kind of loose. And after all his activities last night combined with his lack of dinner, he did feel kind of hungry.

"Come on, yessssss, that's good," Naruto coaxed.

"Naruto? Shut up, will you?"

"Sure. You're so mean to me. You know, I think I forgot to say thanks for last night."

"Actually, you did."

"Oh, I did?"

"Yeah. Three times." Gaara didn't mention some of the things Naruto had said. Things that he considered very strange to say when you're having sex.

"Oh."

Naruto stared at Gaara for a moment.

"Did-did I say thanks while we were-?"

Gaara nodded.

Naruto stared at him and Gaara wasn't sure what emotion he read there. He seemed shocked, then embarrassed, then-

Naruto's face split into a grin and he started laughing like a maniac.

He put his head to the table and laughed wildly in his arms.

"I-I am so sorry-I am... so-so weird," Naruto dissolved into giggles. He looked up, tears in his eyes, gripping his blond hair and banging his head down on the table.

Gaara looked at him. The blond really had no decorum or dignity. But then, if he did, then he wouldn't be Naruto.

And looking at the blond's antics, now rolling on the ground, he couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Hey, you two are making so much noise-" Temari stopped talking, her mouth dropping as she stared at the impossible scene in front of her.

No, not Naruto rolling on the ground.

Gaara, laughing with dignity, sitting at the kitchen table, with food in his hands.

"Gaara-?"

* * *

><p><strong>And end. <strong>

**Mild cliffhanger there. Because I'm evil. And because I always have short chapters and quick updates, so why break up the pattern now? **


	11. Remember Everything

**witchdoctr-fictionpress. Wanna check it out? **

**Reasons I Feel Naruto Is Seme: **

**1) In the anime, he's straight and into Sakura. Which, despite his otherwise uke traits, makes him slightly more seme than Gaara. **

**In the anime, Gaara doesn't really have any attraction to girls, so yeah. **

**2) Naruto seems more... eh, manly? In that attacks first, thinks later kind of way? Naruto's manly in that stupid, headstrong way where he doesn't think and says things without thinking****. **

**3) For some reason, I like Gaara as uke. **

**4) So yeah, that's really it.**

* * *

><p>Naruto banged his head on the wall. "Ow, fuck," he cussed at the exact same moment Temari spoke, still barking with laughter. Wisely, the girl darted backwards, so Gaara wouldn't see her. But she kept her eyes around the corner, to continue watching. She saw Gaara's eyes dart to where she was hiding and she leaned back quickly. She snuck into the dining room, where she could see Gaara with less chance of him seeing her. She could see the back of his head, which was turned down at the blond rolling on the floor. "Show some dignity, will you?" Gaara said curtly. "Lighten up," the blond choked.<p>

The redhead took a bite of his cold pizza. Temari's eyes widened. _He's eating! Oh my god, he's eating! _

Maybe she shouldn't have been so surprised. After all, he must eat sometime. Still, she's never seen him eat, so watching him eat now so casually, was shocking.

Gaara could feel someone's stare on the back of his head. And he'd seen a flash of gold, so he was guessing it was Temari.

Hm. She was watching him, huh? Why, was she worried he was hurting Naruto or vice versa? He took another bite of the cold pizza, knowing she was probably watching with wide eyes.

_Is it because she never sees me eat? Is that why she's so stunned? Is she surprised to find I'm actually human, that I live and breathe like her? That I feel pain like she does? _

Yes, Gaara knew he was being unfair, he knew it. But his life had been complete shit. His life had been unfair and it was partially her fault. So he felt it was time to dish out some of the unfairness for once.

Naruto got back up and sat at the table. "So what's on the agenda?"

"School."

Naruto pouted.

"You don't want to stay here and ditch?"

"No."

"Not even if we-eh, fooled around?"

Gaara paused. He wanted to do everything for Naruto. But he honestly didn't want to. As great as the climax moment had been, he couldn't help but remember Naruto's sloppy performance. As great as it felt for him to finally pay Naruto back for, well everything, he didn't really want to again. Still, if it made Naruto happy...

"Do you really want to?"

Naruto started. His eyebrows shot up.

"Why so serious?" he asked. "You sound like you're deciding whether or not you want to kill someone or something."

"I just want to know if you want to."

"Oh, well we don't- I mean, yeah, I'd like to stay here, but I know we have to go. So, uh-" why were Gaara's eyes so intense?

As for Temari, she was resisting the urge to run in there and shake Gaara and demand what exactly he meant by "fool around." Last night, she'd heard some noises and she had covered her ears, trying to keep herself from hearing anything too sensual. Images rose, unbidden to her mind and she shook her head, trying to clear the dirty images from her mind. It had been bad enough hearing it, much less imagining it while her brother and his boyfriend were right there. Last night, it hadn't been too loud for her, but she had caught a little of the noise and she could imagine what they'd been doing. And her imagination was enough to give her nightmares.

No way were they staying at her house and "fooling around."

Why?

Reason, reason.

Oh, here's a good reason: Gaara wasn't going to ditch school. That one wasn't too offensive right? Lately, Gaara seemed to take every oppurtunity to snap at her. She felt she deserved it at times, but sometimes like now, she just wished he wouldn't be so difficult.

Temari cleared her throat loudly and walked into the kitchen, pretending like she'd just gotten here.

"Oi, hello Temari!"

"Naruto," she said, nodding to him. Oh, nightmares, nightmares, don't think about them together, not like that.

Gaara didn't greet her, but she expected that, so wasn't really offended.

"You guys should get to school. You've got like twenty minutes and only Gaara's dressed," Temari said. Naruto yawned.

"Naw, I'm good as is. We can go now."

Temari squinted at him.

"You-uh, that's disgusting."

"How so?"

"You-" she stopped speaking. She really didn't want to tell Naruto just how bad his hair looked, because the moment she did, Gaara would probably yell at her. "Come, Gaara," Naruto yawned. He stood up and darted from the room, stomping up the stairs, leaving the two siblings alone. But only for a split second, since Gaara left immediately after him, and Temari turned away from him. Neither of them really wanted to be with the other. Not alone. It would be too... unpleasant? No, more like uncomfortable. Awkward. How many times had the two of them been in the kitchen together? How many times had she watched him-?

They didn't know, but at the same time, they bit their lips. Temari's fist clenched the fridge door and Gaara's hand clenched into a fist. Temari stared inside of the fridge without really seeing anything, while Gaara halted on the stairs, his eyes closed. In a way, they were the same. Neither of them could really feel safe in this home, neither of them could feel happy or comfortable in a place like this. Both of them felt dirty, tainted, and neither of them could look at this place without remembering everything that had ever happened. Temari could see it in her mind's eye, where it replayed, and Gaara could remember too well, almost feeling old injuries burn.

Gaara sighed.

Temari was a victim too.

She wasn't his enemy. He'd have to remember that too.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, next time, in Shades of Light and Dark: <strong>

**Sasuke: About time I get the spotlight. **

**Me: You'll be in the next chapter and the next and the next. **

**Sasuke: Great. About time. **

**Me: You get to be an asshole for the majority of the time. **

**Sasuke: Not much different than in the anime/manga, then, huh? **


	12. the Hero Type Isn't Always the Best

Naruto didn't change out of his pajamas, but he did brush his teeth, since he didn't want bad breath. He ran his hand through his hair, but his hair was a bit of a lost cause. "I'll just cover it up," Naruto decided. He jammed his black hat with eyes over his head.

"What is that?" Gaara asked as soon as he came out of the bathroom.

"This? It's my sleeping hat," Naruto said. "Like it?"

"You didn't wear it last night."

"We weren't sleeping, though, were we, Gaara?" Naruto giggled, putting an arm around the redhead's waist. Gaara shifted uncomfortably, blushing as he looked over Naruto's shoulder.

Kankuro coughed, and Naruto let go of him rather quickly and guiltily.

Two of Gaara's room walls were soundproof. Why? Because his father never wanted his "real" son to hear when Gaara screamed. So last night, Kankuro, his room sharing the sound proof wall with Gaara's room, hadn't heard as much. Not as much as Temari, anyway. Still, he had a vague idea of their activities, from what Temari had told him after she and Gaara had had their argument after dinner. From what it sounded like, Gaara had been pretty pissed. Temari had told him everything, almost word for word. And Kankuro might not know a lot about Gaara, but he was guessing Gaara might've slept with Naruto to get back at Temari.

"Are you going to school in your pajamas?" Kankuro asked to break the silence, his eyes drifting to Naruto's hand, which was sneakily brushing Gaara's hip. How strange it was, to have a gay little brother. His thoughts were still reeling. And falling into the gutter as Naruto's arm curled around Gaara's waist.

"Yeah. Like my pajama hat?" Naruto asked, his hand going to his blond, spiky hair.

"Um... what is it?"

"It's a hat with eyes! What else?"

"Oh, right," Kankuro said, rolling his eyes. "It's a little weird."

"Just perfect for me, right?"

Naruto's arm dropped and his hand grasped Gaara's hand. He dragged the redhead down the stairs, then out the door.

* * *

><p>"Hold on, I'm not physically fit," Gaara grumbled. "Slow down, will you?"<p>

Naruto did slow down, though he kept his hand on Gaara's. He grinned at the redhead. "You should work out more. Your stamina would be better."

Gaara won't tell him that his spine and legs are killing him.

It would only upset the blond.

No point in telling him. He wasn't a complainer. Naruto didn't deserve complaining or whining.

He'd walked with worse pain, anyway.

* * *

><p>Gaara wished Naruto was in his Art class. But Naruto would probably suffer in Art. Like Sasuke, he seemed more like the jock type, the energetic sports type than the artistic type-<p>

Wait, what was he thinking?

Sasuke and Naruto weren't alike, not in any way. Not at all.

"You know, Suigetsu told me about what happened."

Gaara stiffened. He didn't look at Sasuke, viciously slashing his paper with his pencil, ripping it. He cussed and was going to throw it away until he realized he could doodle on it later, so stuffed it into his pocket. He got up to get another sheet. To his displeasure, Sasuke followed him. "He's an asshole," Sasuke said. "I guess assholes are attracted to other assholes," Gaara snapped. The raven glared at him and opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something, but then closed it with a snap as he decided not to. "Yeah," he said. "Listen, Gaara, he's messed up. I'll keep him in check. He won't bother you anymore, okay?"

Gaara snorted. He walked passed Deidara, who gave Sasuke a hard look as he passed. Sasori didn't like them sitting next to each other since he was sure they'd create chaos, but Deidara insisted it would be good for them to sort out their differences. Secretly, Deidara was hoping Sasuke would give him a reason to put him in detention. Plus, Deidara liked Gaara and wanted to give Gaara the chance to verbally destroy the raven. Or physically, if it was possible. He did not like the word faggot. Not at all. He'd been called to Tsunade for "attacking" a student, but it had been worth it. Besides, Sasuke hadn't been hurt anyway. He'd landed on his feet, like a goddamned pussy. Heh. Deidara wished he could've shoved the raven off his chair, but he'd be fired for sure. He'd have to have Gaara do it for him.

"What's so funny?"

"Like I believe you. You can't control your psychotic friend, even if you wanted to."

"Yeah, I can, FYI. I was just trying to be nice."

"That's a joke."

"As nice as I get, that is. Besides, I think you're pretty cool, or you were, before Naruto. You know how easy it would be to beat you up now, compared to the start of the year?"

"I don't need your help, or anyone else's."

"That's not true. Suigetsu told me your big brother saved you. Yeah, you wouldn't want me spreading that rumor, would you?"

"I don't care what people think of me."

"But what do you think of you?" Sasuke whispered into his ear. "You used to be strong."

That hit him. Hard. He'd been thinking that often. Having it voiced aloud by someone he hated was worse than just in his head. It was because he didn't have Shukaku anymore. He himself, he Gaara without Shukaku, wasn't strong at all. A fact that everyone seemed to be picking up on.

"You remember when Naruto told me you were abused?"

Gaara stiffened and his shoulders tensed up. Sasuke was going there. He was going there.

"He also told me you had split personalities."

* * *

><p>It was a guess.<p>

Sasuke was guessing. Throwing out a wild theory in the hopes that Kakashi was as smart as he seemed.

And judging by the horror in Gaara's eyes, that wild theory was correct.

"He didn't- I-he would never tell-" Gaara spluttered to Sasuke's amusement. He'd never heard Gaara stutter like that.

No, Naruto wouldn't have, Gaara thought, his eyes wide.

No, wait, Naruto _couldn't _have. When he and Sasuke had been friends, Naruto hadn't known about Shukaku. No one had known. But how on earth had Sasuke guessed it-? Naruto hadn't told him. No one had known, so no one had told the raven. He must've figured it out by himself and now Sasuke was trying to fuck with his head. But he hadn't been that obvious, had he? Not even Naruto had guessed. How could Sasuke have guessed?

"He couldn't have. You're lying and you're wrong."

"Hm," Sasuke smirked. "Wrong reaction. You might've had a chance if you had any self control. But since you don't, not anymore, you showed your emotions. You do have a split personality, don't you? If you didn't, you wouldn't have been affected. But you were." Sasuke was cheering inside. Not only had his theory of Gaara being more of a whack job than he appeared been proved, but his affection for Naruto had been too. Gaara couldn't hold up that wall he used to have anymore. Sasuke found it too easy to read him. Gaara had looked crushed, pained, betrayed when he'd said it. All of it had been there, like an open book. He'd been hurt before he realized Sasuke had been lying. Sasuke grinned. He had snuck into Kakashi's office and read his file on Gaara. And he'd read some interesting theories about Gaara in there. But the most interesting one, was the one Kakashi had underlined twice. Dual personality disorder. It would make sense, that such a quiet, anti-social kid could have a second personality that screamed and cussed and wanted to hurt people. It wasn't his theory, but Gaara didn't need to know that. Sasuke liked knowing he had quite a few things over the redhead now.

"I-"

"So, eh, you hiding your second personality or something?" Sasuke asked.

Now some people would hate to admit it, but Sasuke was smart, and good at reading people.

Gaara's eyes darkened with an emotion he couldn't name. Sadness? Disappointment?

The redhead didn't respond.

"I don't see why Naruto's into you. I mean, come on, you're seriously whacked in the head."

Hm. No effect. He'd probably told Naruto, judging by his reaction, so he was sure the blond had given him all that accept-who-you-are bullshit. Or some motivational pep talk about his psychotic mind.

"Oh wait, now I know. He's into experiments. He likes to fix people, right?"

_Just ignore him, just ignore him. You know the truth. He knows nothing. He's just trying to get a reaction out of you. _

"You two should get working," Sasori told them as he passed by.

_Yes. Work would distract me, _Gaara thought. He laid his new sheet of paper out and straightened it out carefully, making sure there were no wrinkles.

"You know, that's why he picked me as a best friend. I was a lonely kid. Like you."

Gaara took the ruler and carefully arranged it.

"He was my best friend."

His pencil twitched ever so slightly. The line was crooked. And he was using a ruler. Sasuke smirked ever so slightly at the obvious fumble-up reaction.

"He felt bad for me. He doesn't think anyone should be alone. Ever. Like you, he didn't care if his prey hated him. He perservered and we became friends. Like you, I thought he was something amazing. I thought he was so nice, so determined, so friendly and selfless. He did so much and asked for nothing in return."

Gaara paused. That was exactly how he'd felt. And the weird thing was, Sasuke didn't sound like he was lying. On the contrary, he seemed close to either crying or screaming.

"We were inseperable. I thought he would never leave me, that he'd always be my friend. That's how he is. Loyal as a dog. All bark and all bite."

Despite who he was talking to, Gaara smiled. It was true. But he wouldn't admit it. The moment he admitted it was the moment he admitted anything the Uchiha said was true.

That was the first time Sasuke saw Gaara Sabaku smile.

_He really has a beautiful smile, _the raven thought. Then he shook his head, clearing his mind of stupid thoughts.

"But I didn't know. He's drawn to suffering. People he feels he needs to help, people who are lonely, people who are depressed, people who are anti-social, people with issues. He wants to help everyone. I'm not saying that's a bad quality in a person. I'm just saying that someone like Naruto, when he feels you're healed or whatever, he'll leave you. Leave you for the next hopeless case. It's in his nature." Gaara didn't look at him. He looked down at his paper. He was supposed to be drawing a three dimensional city, but it was coming out as two dimensional. He turned it over and started again. Sasuke watched him for a moment, not even bothering with his drawing. He knew the moment he picked up the pencil, it would suck.

"Gaara, come on, look at me and tell me Naruto isn't like that. You know he is. You know he's the hero type, the type who'll save you, then leave to save the next guy."

And something about his words made Gaara look up.

He looked at Sasuke, straight in the eye.

And what scared him, was that he could see the old Sasuke's eyes. The old Sasuke, who knew all about his best friend Naruto, who actually cared about people other than himself, who didn't say things just to manipulate people, a Sasuke that had a strange, longing glint in his eye.

"Sasuke, are you in love with Naruto?"

_Is this my fault? Did I ruin their relationship with my weakness, my inability to defend myself? _

And suddenly, Gaara was flying back, off his stool and onto the hard ground. He put a palm to his cheek. It hurt like fuck, but his face was blank and perhaps that's why Sasuke kicked him, directly to his nose.

"I'm not some faggot!"

But Gaara wasn't too bad at reading people either. He could see passed the rage and embarrassment. He couldn't see the old Sasuke, the real Sasuke anymore, but he could still see a hidden longing, a hidden affection for the blond.

And he himself could feel a flicker of jealousy in his chest.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT WORD, UCHIHA?"

* * *

><p><strong>For some reason this would not come out the way I planned it. And that's weird cause I've been planning this scene for a while, but I had to get a few other scenes in first. I guess while I was writing those other scenes, the details and angst for this one slipped away from me and now I have nothing. Gaah, I am such a fail author. Sorry, I hope you're getting what I'm trying to portray in this chapter. Reviews are appreciated and reviewers are awesome. <strong>


	13. Nosebleed:Not the Kind You'r Thinking Of

**Sasuke and Suigetsu were walking down the street when suddenly a bus turned around the corner and squashed both of them flat. **

**You see, I could write that. But as fun as that would be to watch, it's no fun to read, is it? **

**Sometimes I hate Sasuke, but sometimes I feel bad for him. Which is why he wasn't a complete asshole in the last chapter. **

* * *

><p>Gaara tried to stop the bleeding. It was heavy. Really heavy. He wondered if his nose was broken.<p>

Blood gushed from his nostrils, slipping through his fingers and staining his hands, dripping down his chin and neck. He leaned over the sink and watched as the white porcelain was stained red with spots. He ran his hands under the water. It washed away the blood on his hands, but his nose quickly bled all over his arms. He sighed and brushed his hair away from his face. It was getting really long, maybe he should cut it- aw, shit, he got blood on his forehead. This was getting way too messy. He needed a tissue or something. Heck, at least he was missing Math.

The door opened and he glanced up.

"Your face looks beaten to shit."

Gaara glared at the unwelcome boy.

"Go away," he hissed.

"Public bathroom," he said in reply. "You need some help?"

"Not your help," Gaara snarled.

Sasuke didn't reply to him, but he went over to the paper towel holder. He pulled out a few rolls and handed them to Gaara. The redhead grudgingly took them.

"Gaara-"

"No! Don't speak to me, don't touch me, don't even look at me."

"Ok."

Gaara cleaned himself up the best he could. He still had blood on his shirt, but his shirt was red, so it blended in well.

"What's that?"

The redhead glanced at the raven.

"That there on your neck."

Gaara tensed.

"That's a hickey, isn't it?"

"How is that any of your business?" Gaara snapped.

"It is when you don't hide it," Sasuke said. "Did you and Naruto fuck?"

Gaara gritted his teeth at the vulgar way he said it. Old Sasuke was gone. New Sasuke was back and it was easier for him to see Sasuke as a malicious idiot.

He didn't respond.

"You did, didn't you?"

Gaara started to leave the bathroom, with jerky, angry movements.

Sasuke grabbed his wrist and held him back.

"Sasuke-" Gaara said menacingly, a warning in his tone.

"Just hear me out," the raven said, letting go of his wrist. Gaara glared at him suspiciously, but stayed, wondering where he was going to go with this little bathroom talk.

"Listen, I may be an asshole-"

"May? May be an asshole?"

"But you're not an idiot," Sasuke said, ignoring Gaara's reply and continuing. "And you know that's how Naruto is! You know it! He's too damn nice."

Gaara rolled his eyes at him.

"You didn't have to hit me."

"Yeah... well you- I-"

"Have issues," Gaara sighed.

"Something we have in common, then."

Unwillingly, Gaara grinned slightly. Then he frowned. "Don't ever do it again or-"

"Save your threats for someone else. You know I'll probably do it again."

"At least he's truthful," Gaara sighed, slightly irked about Sasuke's interruption. But then, he wasn't sure what he would've threatened if he'd been allowed to finish.

"I'm not lying and you know it," Sasuke grumbled. "Naruto-"

"Has a lot more to him than you can see," Gaara finished for him.

"And how would you know? I've known him since we were toddlers. And you've known him for a few months," Sasuke said.

_The best few months of my life. _

"I know him."

"Yeah, that's what you think. Lemme guess, he makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Makes you feel like you're not worthless, that you're more than just a pile of shit someone left behind on the curb? He pays attention to you, he's nice to you, he's the one who was there for you when you were down? You don't feel alone anymore, do you? You're actually happy for once," Sasuke said, trying to hit home with Gaara. And partially succeeding. He was partially right. But he was also partially wrong.

"Sasuke, do you lo-?"

"No!"

"Sasuke-"

"I'm not gay!"

Gaara sighed.

"_If," _he stressed the word," _-_you were gay, then why would you be so upset about it? What's wrong with being gay?"

"It's weird," Sasuke murmured.

"There was a time when you didn't care what people thought of you," Gaara said quietly.

The raven looked at him, surprise evident. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he can, they both hear a familiar, loud voice.

"Gaara! Someone told me you and Sasuke got in a fight and tried to kill each other-!"

Sasuke lunged at Gaara and before the redhead could even squeak in surprise, he wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him.

* * *

><p><strong>Could. Not. Resist. SasuGaa. <strong>

**Don't worry, Gaara isn't weak, (I could never write Gaara as weak, it's just not his character) he's just confused. **

**What do I mean by that? Read on to find out. **

**Go to my profile and press on the link. **

**Sorry for the long lapse in updates. I've been having trouble with some nasty writer's block. But putting that little dramatic bit at the end in, I find myself in my element: ANGST. **

**Think my element is angst? Review and tell me. **

**NARUGAA FTW! **


	14. Bathroom Violence

Naruto's mouth dropped.

Gaara was kissing his best friend, his former best friend, anyway.

For a moment, Gaara was too shocked to respond, too shocked to move or shove Sasuke off. But he got over his shock quickly. He shoved Sasuke away and punched him in the stomach. And to his extreme satisfaction, the raven fell to his knees. "Ow, that hurt!" Sasuke groaned. Then he grinned. "Psych. You wish." He stood up. In truth, that punch hurt like a bitch and he couldn't breath properly, not without his chest burning like it was being jabbed with needles. But no way was he going to tell Gaara that, not after seeing the redhead's face fall, crushed with his own lack of confidence in himself.

"You know Gaara, you are so-"

With a yell, Gaara lunged at Sasuke.

He was so done with being a pathetic victim. He was tired of being touched when he didn't want to be touched.

He shoved the raven to the ground, slamming his head against the dirty bathroom tiles. Sasuke cussed at him and grabbed his shoulders. He threw the redhead sideways, into the nearest bathroom stall. Gaara hit the ground hard, but he rolled into a crouch, propelled himself up and lunged at Sasuke again. The raven dodged to the side and shoved him. Gaara fell to the ground, but with a swift, fluid kick, he swept Sasuke's feet out from under him. Then he dove on top of him and tried to strangle him. Sasuke grabbed both wrists, keeping his hands away from his throat. "Looks-looks like your boyfriend wants me," Sasuke gasped tauntingly at Naruto, who stayed near the door, away from the fight.

Gaara yelled angrily. He twisted his body, freeing his wrists, and he dug his elbow into Sasuke's soft gut with all his weight.

Sasuke couldn't even scream. His lungs weren't working properly. He gasped like a fish out of water. _That bastard, he won't get away with this- _

Gaara stood up. For a moment, all he could see was a red haze. He wanted nothing more than to kick at Sasuke's ribs, kick until they broke.

But Naruto's hand grasped his shoulder.

"Gaara-"

Green eyes met blue.

To Gaara's surprise, Naruto didn't look the least bit angry.

"Aren't you pissed?" Gaara asked, the red ebbing away.

"Are you kidding? I was going to be pissed. I was going to throw a crazy screaming fit and I was going to go super saiyan (**DBZ)** all over Sasuke's ass. But then, you kicked his ass and, man, is that a hell of a lot more fun to watch! Awesome job, Gaara! I'm so proud of you! I told you you could do it! And even better than me! I told you I could do it! Heh, I'm smart! I was right! You've still got it! You still got it without-" Naruto's words died. He bit his lip, glancing at Sasuke. "He already knows," Gaara murmured. "Knows what?" the blond asked.

"He knows about-"

"I know you're a freak who hears voices," Sasuke groaned. He got to his feet. Gaara glared at him, threatening violence if the Uchiha didn't stop.

A threat Sasuke didn't care about.

"You're just charity work! That's all you are!"

The raven grinned at him. "See you later, Gaara."

"I thought you weren't gay," Gaara hissed at him.

"I'm not. I just thought it'd be fun to piss off that blond bitch."

The redhead forced himself to calm down.

_Breathe, breathe, relax, breathe, don't hit him, don't hit him, don't push it or you'll get in a lot of trouble and have to take extra counseling sessions with Kakashi-_

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

And suddenly Gaara didn't have to control himself as much as he needed to control Naruto, who lunged at Sasuke, fists flailing. The redhead grabbed his shoulders tightly in a hug, holding him back.

The raven laughed at their efforts, Naruto's effort to hurt him, and Gaara's effort to stop him.

He approached them and both of them tensed, waiting to see what he was going to do.

"You know it's true, Gaara. And you know it'll happen, sooner or later. The longer you hold on, the harder you'll fall."

Gaara's scowl melted.

Why?

Because Sasuke's eyes were his own again. They belonged to the real Sasuke, the Sasuke Naruto knew, the Sasuke Gaara had liked.

And the Sasuke that maybe, probably, plausibly, loved Naruto.

And was jealous of him.

For a moment, Gaara felt bad for him. He tried to imagine how it would feel to have Naruto for so long, only to lose him to some newcomer.

But that pity faded as quickly as Sasuke's eyes reverted back to new Sasuke.

The Sasuke who'd never admit he loved Naruto, or even admit he was gay.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, two short updates. I should probably leave you with a cliffhanger, but I thought that wouldn't be fair, seeing as how I left you for almost three days without an update. Which is long, you know, for me. <strong>

**So, eh, I don't really have to ask for reviews. so I'll just tell you in advance, that you're awesome for reviewing. Check out my link. **

**Later. Sorry if this seems a little rushed. **

**If I change my username, would it confuse all of you? **


	15. FTW

**Okay, I won't change my usnername. Yet. It would be too confusing, I guess.**

* * *

><p>Gaara stared at the field with a mix of hatred, fear and disgust.<p>

"No way," he said.

Coach Guy nodded at him, an idiotic smile showing all teeth on his face.

"No," Gaara said.

Guy winked at him.

"No."

Guy chuckled loudly and clapped a hand on Gaara's shoulder.

"Oh yes!" he exclaimed. "Now go out there and show me the power of youth."

He pushed Gaara towards the line of kids waiting for their turns. Grudgingly, the redhead shuffled across the gravel and stood in line. "This should be fun!" Naruto said. "Oh my god, this is so cool! I always wanted to do hurdles ever since we tried doing them once in Gym last year, believe it! This is going to be so fun! Hehehe!"

"You're excitement is disgusting," Gaara murmured. "The only fun this could possibly be is if I see Sasuke or Suigetsu trip and get a faceful of gravel."

Gaara shifted uncomfortably. He still didn't like crowds and the fact that they were all staring at him like he was an alien made him feel self-conscious. Why did they looked so shocked? Was it really so shocking to know he had a voice and could use it, just that he chose not to? Grrr, he still hated crowds. He didn't like any of these people. He knew if he got to know any of them, he'd find something to hate about them. People just were so... unappealing to him. Except Naruto, of course, his exception.

As people ran up to the metal hurdles, he felt like puking.

He was going to trip, he was going to trip, he was going to trip. And it was going to hurt. Sasuke and Suigetsu would laugh at him. Maybe even Naruto would laugh at him. Shit, shit, shit.

He wanted to scoot back to the end of the line every time he got close to the front.

But before he could even attempt this once, Guy stepped in a grabbed his arm.

"Oh no you don't, Sabaku! You're not going to wiggle out of this one!"

_Who says wiggle? _Gaara though, scowling.

He glanced at Naruto, who was behind him. The blond gave him an apologetic look in response to his pleading look. _Just do it once and get it over with, _he said without words.

With a sigh, Gaara turned to stare at the obstacles before him.

Hurdles. Damn it. It would hurt to hit them.

Trying to push those thoughts away (they wouldn't do him any good, just make him nervous and more likely to screw up) he screwed up his courage.

And charged at the hurdles.

"Yeah Gaara!" Naruto yelled like an over enthusiastic cheerleader. "Come on!"

Gaara was too busy concentrating to be embarrassed at his boyfriend's wild cheering.

But to his extreme surprise, he got over all nine hurdles without a slip up. He stared with wide eyes at the hurdles. Did he really just jump over every one of them without slipping up? He was surprised. _I guess the trick is just charging through them. Or something... you know what, I don't know or care. I got over them and I'm not going to think about it anymore. I did it without slipping. Done. I'm not going to think about it anymore. _

He got to the side, watching as Naruto bounced on his feet for a moment, staring at the hurdles with bright eyes. Then he too ran. Gaara watched with admiration as the blond easily and gracefully jumped over the hurdles. And damn, he was fast, like a yellow blur. And suddenly, that yellow blur was airbourne. Naruto tripped up on the last one. He completely flipped over the hurdle, knocking it down, before smacking into the gravel himself. "Naruto!"

With a speed rarely seen in Gym class, Gaara was kneeling at his side immediately. "Are you okay?" he murmured. Naruto rolled from side to side, his hands on his arms. "Oh, the agony!" he yelled dramatically, pretending to writhe in pain, kicking up dust. Gaara smirked. He stared at Naruto. Then burst out laughing, his head falling to arms, resting on his knees. "What's the big idea?" the blond asked. "I'm in pain and you're laughing at me." "When you fell-" Gaara managed to get out. "I wish I had a camera." Naruto glared at him, but it was a playful, kitten glare. "Oh come on, you're not in pain, you're just being whiny," Gaara said.

"You're so mean to me," Naruto pouted. "Want to kiss my boo boo?"

"You're embarrassing," Gaara grumbled at him, standing up and offering the blond his hand.

Naruto took it and Gaara yanked him up.

They walked back to the line.

Why was everyone looking at him weird?

Oh wait. He knew why.

What is wrong with these people? He is human and he does laugh, albeit rarely. So why do they look like they just saw someone die?

"They assume when Gaara laughs, the world must be ending," Naruto whispered in his ear. "But I'd like to die hearing you laugh."

Gaara heard the incredibly cheesy line. And while his eyes were on Sasuke, who was running the hurdles now, his mouth grinned ever so slightly at the comment.

"You're an idiot."

"I'm the best idiot you'll ever meet," Naruto said.

"Best at being stupid or best like-" Naruto kissed him, quelling his words.

"Ew, get a room!" They broke away from each other in slight alarm.

"That is so gross!"

"Fuck them," Gaara murmured. He kissed Naruto again.

Fuck the world.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you know I use to think FTW, stood for Fuck the World, not For the Win? <strong>

**Was this a random and pointless chapter? **

**Hell yeah! That's how I roll!**

**Get used to it. **

**But not too used to it. There shall be angst in the future and some heart break and some suffering later on. **


	16. Replacement For Author's Note

"So eh-?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

Naruto shook his head at Gaara. Maybe he shouldn't push him so much. Maybe Gaara just wasn't the social type.

"You can go to the cafeteria and sit next to your friends," Gaara said.

"Gaara, I wouldn't do that!"

"I'm not being jealous or anything. I actually have something I have to check," Gaara murmured.

"What?" Naruto asked curiously.

Gaara hesitated before answering, casually he thought, "nothing."

"If you're checking nothing, I might as well come with you, since I'll be doing nothing too," Naruto said. "Besides, if I go than what are you going to eat?"

"I have an apple in my bag somewhere," Gaara said. "Besides, I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to bring food outside the cafeteria. Or even, if we're allowed to be anywhere but the cafeteria while it's lunch time."

"I don't care," Naruto shrugged.

"You will if you're suspended. You realize there are only so many trips to the principal before suspension?"

"If I get suspended, you'll visit me, right?"

Gaara rolled his eyes.

"Aw, you know I only come to school 'cause you're here."

Gaara smiled at him.

"That's not true-"

"It is. You're the only kid who talks to me," Naruto said.

"Well-"

"They talk to me, but they give me these uncomfortable looks and it's kind of tense now. You're the only guy who's still the same."

For a moment, Naruto sounded incredibly sad. But it wasn't in his nature to be sad for very long.

"You're awesome, you know that?"

* * *

><p>Gaara went to the Art room. He glanced in. Sasori and Deidara were both gone, probably eating lunch or doing some activity no one cared about.<p>

"Why are we here?" Naruto asked, a potato chip bag in hand.

"No reason," Gaara murmured. He grasped the door handle. Why was it locked? They were just leaving for lunch, it's not like anyone was going to steal paintbrushes or clay or anything for Art.

"If it's no reason, then why are you picking the lock... and where did you learn how to pick a lock anyway?" Naruto asked, opening his chip bag.

"I've been everywhere, I picked up a few tricks," the redhead murmured. Then cursed himself as he stepped into dangerous territory.

"Really? You've been everywhere?" Naruto asked, unknowingly stepping further into said dangerous territory. Gaara's hand shook slightly and one of his bobby pins fell to the ground. He picked it up again, and Naruto didn't notice the slight fumble up. "Yeah," Gaara murmured. He tried to turn the door handle. It didn't budge. He started again. "So... where have you been?" Naruto asked. He chomped on his potato chips, waiting for an answer.

"I've been around," Gaara said.

"Around where?"

It was unlocked now.

He sighed.

"Let's just say I know four languages," Gaara said.

Finally, Naruto seemed to get the hint. He clamped his mouth shut and didn't ask any more questions. About his location change, anyway.

The redhead looked around the room. First, he went over to the paint shelf. He began to inspect it.

"So Christmas is coming up, you know-"

Gaara poked the shelf. It shook slightly, but that was expected, seeing as it was kind of crappy and cheap.

"And I was wondering-?"

Gaara wished Naruto wouldn't walk on eggshells around him. Just get on with it and say it. If it's a bad suggestion, it's a bad suggestion no matter how slowly he said it.

"When is, erm, -is you know who, coming home?"

"I don't know or care."

"But, eh, not before Christmas."

"He-he might," the redhead murmured. "But not because he wants to. Because he might have to. The company doesn't work... on Christmas."

"But that's weird. What country is he in? Does that country even celebrate Christmas?" Naruto said.

Gaara sighed. He appreciated that Naruto was trying to lighten the mood, but he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Sorry, Naruto, I can't come over for Christmas."

He jumped in surprise as Naruto slammed his fists down against the Art table.

"Damn! I have to spend Christmas alone with the old man pervert and his girlfriend!"

Gaara smirked.

"Don't worry, my Christmas will be as shitty as yours," he said darkly.

"That doesn't make me feel better! I always spent Christmases with Sa-" Naruto closed his mouth and looked uncomfortable. "Um, well, him. The point is, I've never spent a Christmas I can remember without a friend. And if we both don't want to spend Christmas alone, we should spend it _together." _He poked Gaara's arm as he said it. "Wipe that stupid look off your face," Gaara said dryly. Naruto huffed. "_To-gether! For-everrrr!" _

"That stupid look must be your permanent face," the redhead asked. The blond giggled at the insult. Then his brow furrowed as he remembered something.

"Wait a minute, why is your Christmas going to suck?"

Gaara began to poke around the classroom, Naruto following him. He crouched down beside a cabinet.

Naruto stood directly behind him. When the redhead stood back up, he bumped into him.

"Ouch! Personal space," Naruto grumbled.

"You didn't want personal space last night," Gaara said, shutting the blond up immediately. Naruto blushed. Then giggled. Now Gaara regretted saying that at all. The blond's giggles were really annoying. "If you want personal space, then step back a little, I'm busy here." Naruto giggled again and followed him. Idly, he ran his finger along the edge of the sink. It came away blue. There was paint on the sink. He rubbed his fingers in it. Then he began to write his name on the nearest stool. Gaara stared at him. "Idiot," he said. "Wash that off or they'll know you were here." Naruto had to laugh at himself for being so stupid. He wiped the paint off, but a blue tint was still visible. For a moment, he didn't know what to say. But soon his wandering mind came back to the subject he'd been asking about before getting distracted.

The blond, without even thinking to ask what he was doing investigating the Art room, pressed at the topic he wanted to talk about.

"So why is your Christmas going to suck?"

"You know why. I hate Temari and Kankuro."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"I know you don't. You care about them. Want to know how I know?"

"I don't particularly want to dive into the mind of a submental."

"Because I-I just know you do! I mean, you'd just ignore them if you didn't care about them. You care about them enough to be angry and feel like you hate them. You just need to... loosen up around them. And-"

"I'll be their brother when you become friends with Sasuke again. How's that?"

Ouch. Clever Gaara, putting Naruto in the same position.

"But-but that's different. Temari and Kankuro are trying to be your siblings, or at least, your friends. Sasuke is- Sasuke pushed me away and now you're pushing them away!"

_Yeah, and Sasuke is the reason I'm poking around the Art classroom right now_, Gaara thought. _Checking for goddamn nasty pranks and shit. _

"We never were friends. That's how it's different. Kankuro was an asshole to me, probably because of _his _influence. He hated me until he found out. And then, he began to pity me. And suddenly, now he wants be be my brother. Because he'd guilty. He and Temari both feel guilty. They're only thinking about themselves."

"And you're only thinking about yourself. How do you think they feel? Having a brother who hates them? Who pushes away their advances? I know you have a reason to be angry. A good reason. I'm just saying, maybe if you made an effort, then maybe you all wouldn't be so miserable with each other's company."

Both of them were scowling now.

"Well, just give them a chance, Gaara. Just try not to be so... angry around them, I guess?"

Gaara huffed.

"What about you? Are you allowed to snap and attack Sasuke, then? Why don't _you_ make an effort to become friends with him? Why don't _you_ forgive him? "

"It's not the same!"

"It's not much different, either."

"It's very different. Sasuke was my best friend from the beginning. We were best friends. He was always there for me. And I was always there for him. I'm just saying, I know what it feels like to be pushed away. So I know it must make Temari and Kankuro really sad every time you push them away," Naruto said.

"They deserve it. You think about others. They think about themselves. Even if I could look passed that, I can't look passed my bad history with them. It's just... why would I want their friendship now? Why couldn't I have had it when I needed it? I just can't help but feel it's all pointless now. Besides, I don't need them anymore. Not for anything. I have you. I have a friend, I have love, I have everything they could provide and better. Please, Naruto, just drop it. I hear what you're saying, but I don't want to talk about them."

"You can't skirt away from the subject every time, Gaara."

"Who said I'm 'skirting'? I'll try to be nicer around them, okay? But I can't do anything about the fact that things between us are just... uncomfortable."

"Okay! Good! That's it! That all I wanted!"

_Is it always about what you want? _

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Gaara felt guilty. He hated how angry he felt these days. It felt so tense and tight in his chest, just waiting to be let loose. He hated it. It was so much easier when Shukaku had been his anger. At least he wouldn't have to feel so angry all the time. The anger had been contained to his other personality. He could control it better. And he didn't have to feel it himself. Shukaku had taken care of that. Damn, he missed Shukaku. Back then, everything had been so much more... balanced. Back then, he'd been mentally unstable.

But now, he actually _felt _unstable.

He didn't know how to deal properly with anger. Sometimes it was uncontrollable, and sometimes it just wasn't existent.

When had things gotten so confusing?

Now, he could feel things. Things like happiness.

And things like anger. Anger was hot and fiery. Burning.

And he wasn't sure if he preferred the cold ice he used to feel.

"Um, are you angry at me, Gaa-?"

"Why is the door unlocked, I thought we locked it, didn't we, Sasori?"

"Oh no, someone's stealing your precious clay."

The blond and the redhead, the smaller pair, that is, not the teaching pair, ran across the room and darted out the second entrance to the Art room. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasori noticed, following an angry blond teaching associate into the classroom, a flash of blond and red.

"Gaara and Naruto? What were they doing in the Art room?"

* * *

><p><strong>Am I getting repetitive? Damnit. Maybe I'm losing my writing touch as well as my sanity.<strong>

**Ok, this chapter seems to flow better than the last attempt. But that's my opinion. Sorry for any confusion I probably caused. **

* * *

><p><strong>In the next chapter, there will be a flashback. Oh, the horror! JK, it's not one you've read before. It's a Christmas memory. <strong>

**Sasuke: Am I in it?**

**Me: Yeah. **

**Sasuke: Damnit. **


	17. Christmas Memory

**Warning: My version of Itachi is waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy OOC. But you know, I couldn't resist. I love Itachi, so I had to make him a fun and lovable brother. **

_"Hah! Got you!" _

_Itachi laughed at the outraged faces of his brother and his friend. They were just sitting innocently on the couch when suddenly Itachi sprung up between them with a sprig of mistletoe. "Now you two ladies want to kiss? It's the rules, you know," Itachi teased. "And it's really romantic, too, in front of a fireplace and it's almost Christmas." Sasuke began to cuss him out, telling him exactly what exactly he could do with his rules. Naruto got up and went around the couch. He leapt at Itachi, who just took a step back. "Looks like you want to kiss me," Itachi teased. _

_"Give me that!" _

_"Sorry, I'm unavailable, Naruto. But you know, Sasuke's lonely-" _

_Naruto managed to pull the sprig from his hand. He threw it in the fire. Then had a victory dance. _

_"It's burning, it's burning, it's burning," he said in a sing song voice. _

_"Just like Sasuke's face," Itachi said, laughing at Sasuke's blushing face. _

_Then dodging back as Sasuke lunged at him. "Stupid faggot," Sasuke snapped at him. _

_"You shouldn't use such a mean word for your brother," Itachi reprimanded. "Not on Christmas." _

_"Oh. Yeah. Sorry, slipped out," Sasuke said, sounding a little guilty. He knew Itachi was gay and the word faggot was crude and offensive to people like him. Being gay wasn't bad, right? _

_"It's okay, little buddy." _

_Immediately, Sasuke snapped, "I'm not little."_

_"You are to me, small fry." _

_Itachi walked into the kitchen, but doubled back as the doorbell rang. _

_"Christmas is for family, Itachi, who'd you invite _now?"

_Itachi paused at the the door and scowled. _

_"What about Naruto, eh? You get to invite your friends over, but I can't?" _

_Sasuke blushed at the slightest implication that Naruto was more than a friend. The blond giggled, noticing this. "You're so sensitive," he said. For a moment, rage flickered in Sasuke's eyes, but it died and he smiled a little. "No I'm not," he denied half heartedly. "Whatever," Naruto said, dropping it. The door swung open. "Aw, it's you two," Itachi complained. "Nice to see you too, son. And... nice to see you too, Naruto," Mr. Uchiha said politely, slightly strained, disdain lurking in his eyes. Mrs. Uchiha looked a little miffed, but she didn't frown as heavily as her husband and even attempted a forced smile. _

_Naruto smiled brightly at both of them. _

_"Well you guys weren't around when I asked to come over, so sorry I surprised you!" _

_Sasuke stared at him, mouth dropping. "Eh, he means he'll be leaving soon," he said. "Naruto, a word?" _

_He grabbed the blond's arm and dragged him upstairs. _

_"Why would you say that? They're going to kill you, and then they're going to kill me. I'm more worried about the latter than the former," Sasuke hissed. _

_"Aw, they love me! But no worries, I won't stay for Christmas if it makes things tense," Naruto added, seeing Sasuke's disbelieving face. He looked sad and put on his puppy dog face, like a puppy dog that had been left on its own. In a blizzard. In the middle of nowhere. Normally, a look like that would just make Sasuke smirk. But today, it looked particularly sad. And it was Christmas. "Fine. You can stay. Stay at your own risk. And you should know if I need to, I'll throw you to the sharks! So keep that in mind if you want to stay!" _

_"Some best friend," Naruto giggled, putting on a pouting face. _

_But he couldn't hold onto it for long. It turned back to happy. _

_"Give me a hug!" _

_"No way." _

_"Why not?"_

_"I'll probably catch some sort of disease." _

_"Aw, it's called happiness. It tends to come with hugs." _

_Naruto grabbed him and hugged him tightly. _

_"Merry Christmas, buddy." _

_Sasuke pushed the blond away from him, but Naruto was like a leech. _

_Why fight it? If he responded to the hug, then maybe the blond would let go of him sooner. _

_So he hugged him back._

_And was surprised at how warm he is. _

_Warm. _

_For a moment, Sasuke didn't move, just letting the blond cling to him. He smiled for a moment. _

_The doorbell rang and Itachi's voice could be heard from downstairs. _

_Immediately, Sasuke's smile faded from his face and he pushed the blond away, no easy feat, seeing as he was like a warm octopus with a tight, sticky grip. _

_"Get your tentacles off me. Time to go downstairs and suffer. If you're going to be the cause of my suffering, then you have to suffer with me." _

_"If I'm with you, it's not suffering," Naruto said. _

_"You're totally cheesy," Sasuke said. "How more cliched can you get?" _

_"I could say I lurrrvvvv you. And that Christmas wouldn't be the same without you. That's more cliched, right?" _

_Sasuke punched his shoulder. "Try to act like a man, for once."_

_"No way. You're dad's in alpha dog mode. Don't want to threaten him with my manliness," Naruto said, puffing out his chest. _

_"If my Dad was anything like an alpha dog, he wouldn't be threatened by the likes of you," Sasuke said. "But in all seriousness, don't piss him off, okay? He really, really hates you."_

_"Like Father like son, then?" _

_Naruto began to stomp down the stairs. But he paused when he realized Sasuke wasn't following him, just staring at him from the top stair. _

_"What is it?" the blond asked. _

_"I never said I hated you."_

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, a lot shorter than I was going for. And the time it took to write it... man, I hate writer's block. It really slows down traffic going through my brain. I'm... feeling... out... of... everything...<strong>

**This flashback will be continued. Later. **


	18. Stains:Sasuke and Itachi Talk

"Hey Sasuke, what's been up with you?"

The raven looked at his older brother.

"I thought we had a rule. I ask you no questions about your life and you don't ask any about mine."

Itachi tilted his head at his younger brother.

"Is that how you remember it? The rule is that big brothers take care of younger brothers. So I'm asking what's been up with you?"

Sasuke glanced at him. He put his feet on the couch and Itachi's eyes narrowed as his wet, dirty shoes dripped on the couch. He poked Sasuke's shoes.

"Nothing's been 'up'. What makes you think something's up?" Sasuke asked.

"Well Deidara shouted over the phone about how you'd better hope you two didn't meet in a dark alley, then hung up. So I kind of assume you did something to piss him off," Itachi said, shoving both legs off the couch. Sasuke grumbled, but didn't attempt to change position. Itachi got up and began to wipe furiously at the stains he'd left behind. "Oh please, I'm always pissing off teachers. Why is this time any different?" Sasuke asked disinterestedly. He put his shoes back up on the couch. Itachi pushed them off again and rubbed even more furiously at the new stains.

"This time is different, because Deidara isn't the kind of teacher who gets pissed off at students that easily."

Sasuke snorted. He took off his shoes and threw them somewhere behind him. Itachi stared at the carpet, now stained as well.

"Are you kidding me? The guy's full of hot gas."

"Yeah. I guess so. But what's so odd, is that Deidara wouldn't get pissed off at someone for pranks and goofing around in class," Itachi said. Smirking as Sasuke's face darkened. "Oh I apologize. Not goofing. What's the word you use for what you do during class? Oh yeah. Slacking off works. And pretending to be a badass who is too cool for school is also an apt expression. Listen, we're getting off track. I meant to say, that Deidara was like you in school. He wouldn't be upset about something stupid and childish. He'd be amused, unless the trick was being played on him. However, Sasori told me-"

"Oh come on, Itachi!"

The older Uchiha paused, his hand no longer rubbing at the stain on the carpet, as his little brother interrupted him.

"What the hell is up with you? You were never this nosy. Seriously, not cool, listening to everything teachers' say about me. I thought we had an understand-"

"Since when did being cool matter to you? If someone said it would be cool to smoke, would you do it?"

"Oh come on! What is wrong with you people? Suddenly you leap from attacking me for misbehaving in class that you learned from a teacher friend of yours, to accusing me of smoking? Seriously, you're so messed up. You think you know everything, Itachi, but you don't. You don't know anything. You're trying to get information out of me by telling me what you and Sasori and Deidara mutter behind my back! Well you're not anywhere as smart as you think you are!"

"I wasn't trying to get anything out of you. Why so defensive?"

"Butt out!"

"Butt out of what? As far as I know, we weren't talking about anything in particular."

"You were accusing me of smoking!"

"Bro, relax, it was just an analogy."

"You were suggesting something."

Itachi snorted.

"Suggesting what?"

Sasuke couldn't seem to find a reply.

"How could I be suggesting anything if you yourself don't know what I'm 'suggesting'?"

"I am so sick of your stupid verbal mind games! Just shut up and leave me alone!"

The raven stood up and stormed upstairs. His older brother watched him. Sasuke could be really emo sometimes. But this time? It wasn't the same as all the past times Sasuke had stormed up to his room, angry at his brother. This time was different. Something about Sasuke was changing and Itachi really didn't like it. And where was Naruto? When was the last time he'd seen Sasuke's best and oldest friend? Itachi reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He went down the contact lists and found the name Sasori. He hesitated. Then he scrolled up and found Deidara instead.

"Hey what's up Itachi, un?"

* * *

><p><strong>Again, a lot shorter than it should've been. <strong>

**So anyway... ... ... Self hatred: **

**Um, why are you still here? How can you ignore the gaping plot holes and severely lacking character developement? I don't know why so many people are here. I really don't. This story was my rambling mind. That's why everything seems so awkward and random now! Nothing makes sense, not the characters or how they react to things. Not even the damn weather is right. So many random and pointless scenes that had nothing to do with the rest of the story. So many characters, like Itachi, butchered or completely forgotten, like Sakura. I forgot to mention so many things in Gaara of the Light/Darkness, and now everything's whacked up and doesn't make sense. Damn, damn, damn. **

**Well *sigh* I'll update, since so many people seem to like this story. Just keep in mind that it's only because I don't want to disappoint all of you by deleting this story. It would make me feel like shit if I deleted it. So I'm going to try my best to write this story with the meager materials I gave myself to work with. **


	19. Auditoriums and iPods

"Nice one, Gaara," Naruto giggled. "I didn't know you pulled pranks."

"How'd you hear?" Gaara asked dully.

"I heard from Choji who heard it from Ino who heard it from Sakura, who knows everything about Sasuke. Like everything," Naruto said, his eyes widening dramatically for the last word.

"Okay. But it wasn't me," the redhead rasped.

Naruto grinned at him coyly.

"Oh, come on, you don't have to lie to me, really! Just tell me how you did it and when."

"I didn't," Gaara grumbled. "I didn't do it."

Naruto grinned at him. The redhead glared at him and he immediately held both arms up in surrender.

"Okay! You didn't do it, I was just fooling. Then who did do it?"

Gaara opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment, Kiba opened the door to the principal's office. Immediately the air began heating up and they glared daggers at each other. The redhead, curious as to why Kiba, a boy who normally went along fine with Naruto, was in the principal's office and apparently pissed at the blond. His eye was a little dark, like he'd been punched, so Gaara wondered if Naruto was here for fighting again. If he continued like this, he'd be suspended in no time. And then Gaara would have to stay with him all day, because there was no way he was coming to highschool without him.

As the door slid shut, he sighed. He was alone in the waiting room. He thought back as to why exactly he was in here.

* * *

><p><em>"Why were you in here earlier?" Sasori asked quietly, his breath tickling Gaara's ear. <em>

_"No reason," Gaara said back. _

_"If you need art supplies, you don't have to steal them-"_

_"I wasn't steal anything, you can check," Gaara said dully. _

_The older redhead eyed him carefully. Then he shrugged and walked away._

* * *

><p>Gaara sighed. That earlier conversation with Sasori had further convinced the art teacher that he'd done that prank. The prank that involved Sasuke's chair missing four major screws. So when the raven fell on his ass, quite hilariously, Gaara couldn't help but laugh. Which was so out of character for him that quite a few people stared at him. And, of course, he was immediately suspected. And, of course, Sasori remembered seeing him and Naruto in the Art room. There was little doubt in his mind that it was Gaara's doing.<p>

And Deidara agreed with him. The blond had pulled him outside and started laughing and clapping his back, telling him he'd done a good job.

No one seemed to believe that it hadn't been him.

Gaara sighed. He was sure Sasuke had done it to his own chair.

He hoped the raven's ass was hurting bad right now.

But he doubted it. The kid had landed lightly, but cried out in melodramatic agony.

Geez, Sasuke was low. Gaara wanted to punch his face in the next time he saw the raven. But while that would be fun, it would more satisfying to beat him at his own game. Honestly, Gaara was tired of Sasuke's pranks.

* * *

><p>"You don't understand, Tsunade!" Naruto half yelled at her.<p>

"No I don't because all you've done is scream incoherent words in a mess at me!" Tsunade yelled back.

"Because you keep giving me this stupid lecture about respecting my peers or whatever! I don't have any respect for assholes like Kiba!"

"You and Kiba are friends!"

"Were!"

"Why the 'were'? Another one of your petty squabbles? Perhaps you need anger management-"

"I-" but Naruto paused. Maybe he and Gaara could have shared counseling session. He doubted Kakashi would mind much. From what Gaara had said, Kakashi would probably be happy to have him present, to see Gaara with Naruto compared with Gaara without Naruto. "He-he called me a faggot, okay? We were friends, alright? But then he started being an asshole because he's a dumbass homophobe and I didn't want him to keep bitching about my sexuality. You get that, right? I have self control, I'm just not someone who turns the other cheek, believe it!"

"I can believe it," Tsunade said dryly. "And I understand your anger. I've talked to Kiba about it. But you- sometimes you have to ignore antagonists, you know? Exercise better self control or I'm going to have to suspend you. I get it. I really do. I've been in some bad fights when I was your age too. But I learned to control my emotions and I suggest you do that, too, okay? I've talked to him about it and he won't say that word again."

Naruto still looked pissed.

_I'm not getting to him, _Tsunade thought. _Let's try something that'll get to him, then. _

"Kiba's not worth the time or effort. He's just an idiot, don't listen to the shit spewing from his mouth," Tsunade said aggressively.

And she saw the light spark in Naruto's eyes.

"Yeah, you're right. He's just being a big idiot. Why bother with him? It's just what he wants," Naruto grumbled. "He's scum, so he wants to get my attention. He's just trying to piss me off."

"Exactly," Tsunade agreed. "Ignore him and he'll get pissed off, trust me." Inwardly, she wondered if Naruto was really understanding what she was trying to convey.

"Yeah, just ignore him," Naruto mumbled to himself. "Gaara would do that, I'm sure."

_Actually, Gaara- _her thoughts contradicted him, but she didn't voice it aloud. Gaara could be just as temperamental as Naruto.

* * *

><p>If the Sabaku children ever passed each other in the halls, they always ignored one another.<p>

Until recently.

If Temari saw Gaara, she'd go up to him and ask him how his day was going.

He'd walk away, dart into a nearby classroom, or reply curtly that he was fine.

Kankuro was a little less cheerful and bubbly about it. He'd nod at the redhead, trying not to attack him with enthusiasm that was fake for both of them.

And Gaara would usually just ignore him.

But, sometimes when he felt like throwing Kankuro a bone and "making an effort", he'd make eye contact and nod, just a little, to acknowledge Kankuro's efforts.

It was better than what Temari got.

And it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as when Naruto dragged him over to Temari and tried to instigate a conversation between them. But if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, Naruto would often dart away. So Gaara was left alone with someone he'd never been comfortable with in the first place. Then, he'd inwardly curse Naruto, the one person he was comfortable with, for leaving him alone with her. Now that was uncomfortable. Even for Temari. She seemed to sense that forcing her friendship on him wouldn't work and them being engaged in forced conversation would just make him resent her more. So they'd both leave as soon as Naruto did, with mutual feelings.

And in a way, that was better than a forced conversation.

Temari accepted that he didn't want to talk. She hoped by doing this, by showing him she wasn't forcing herself on him, that she wasn't the enemy here. Not knowing he'd already established this. The thing is, when it comes to family, you have no choice but to be with them. There's a sibling, family kind of bond present and you grudgingly form a love/hate bond, linked by blood. Often, with family, it's easy because they're automatically close to you from birth. But technically it was forced, seeing as you don't choose your family. So with Gaara, not only did he feel like his family wasn't linked to him by blood or love, but also that they'd been forced upon him, and were continuing to be forced upon him.

So having Temari stop trying so hard felt more natural to him. And that made it more bearable to be around her.

All in all, though, he didn't really enjoy time alone with his siblings.

But that day, by chance, he did.

It was free period. And the library and sophomore gym had been closed, so the freshman and sophomore had two places to go: the auditorium and the courtyard. The latter being closed because of the icy wind and low temperature. Gaara normally wouldn't have been affected. Gaara's backup destination for free period was a nice dark closet, but Naruto dragged him to the auditorium instead. Before Gaara could protest, a teacher had spotted them "meandering the halls," and barked for them to "get a move on."

Of course, Gaara's first reaction was disgust.

There were a lot of kids here. He didn't like people.

Sophomores and freshmen. Not too bad of a mix up, though. Not nearly as bad as a match up like senior and freshmen. A senior would've harassed him. But no one messed with him, so he didn't really care about the mix up.

Gaara sat in the corner, nearest the door, with his iPod earphones in, and Naruto by his side. But soon the blond had other plans. He got up and began to fool around up and down the aisle, then on stage. A few other kids joined him and they began to goof off, laughing and joking and jumping up and off and performing cartwheels and other tricks up and down, off the stage and on the stairs. Gaara smirked at his boyfriend from a distance. It was good for Naruto to start socializing again. He felt so bad. Naruto had been popular, a real social butterfly with so many friends and he always felt responsible for his somewhat hermit like behavior now.

Someone sat next to him. He didn't know who it was at first. Not until Kankuro spoke, anyway.

"That's my old iPod, right?"

Gaara heard muffled words and muted the iPod.

"Sorry?" he said.

"That's my old iPod, right?" Kankuro asked.

Gaara nodded absentmindedly, then remember his brother couldn't see him very well in this dim lighting, so said, "yeah."

"It's a real piece of shit."

Gaara smirked, appreciating his blunt tone. "Yeah, you owned it once, so it makes sense, right?"

Kankuro chuckled.

"Sorry man, but little brothers always get the crappiest stuff. Hand me downs, you know?"

Gaara nodded.

"Yeah, but I meant that it was shitty in the first place."

"Well excuse me for my poor taste in technology," Kankuro huffed. "Besides, you should be glad you have it at all, piece of junk like that. I was just going to toss it, but you found it like some sort of scavenging raccoon. One second it's there in my drawer, the next it's gone. And now it's barely recognizable," he added.

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked. The iPod looked the same, give or take a few scratches.

"I mean you have your weird rock bands on it. Seriously, what is-" he took a moment to read the name on the iPod, "Thousand Foot Krutch?"

"Not all of us can be Justin Bieber fanboys," Gaara murmured.

"I listen to pop, not twerps with auto-tuned voices," Kankuro retorted.

"Isn't that what pop is?"

Kankuro laughed.

Naruto came skipping back up the aisle, a little banged up from falling off the stage. He grinned. "Hey guys, what's so funny?"

"Gaara. Here I was thinking he was a boring kid with the mind of an old man when he pops a line like that. Unintended pun."

Gaara smirked with amusement. There. When Kankuro acted like himself.

"Aw, brotherly love," Naruto said, getting a dreamy, moony expression that creeped out the Sabaku brothers.

"If you ever say that again with that expression, I'm going to punch you senseless for real, got it?" Kankuro threatened happily. Gaara snickered.

Inwardly surprised that his brother had said the same thing he'd been thinking.

* * *

><p><strong>HOLY ****, I haven't update for a month! <strong>

**My apologies, my deepest regrets, my sorrow, my grief, my disappointment, everything. I'm so sorry. **

**I can't honestly say I was sick or injured or dead. **

**All I can really say is that I was in a writing slump. For all of my stories. For all of my writing, really. All I could do was sit and try to drum up this scene in my head. **

**So sorry. There is a problem, however. I don't know if Slump mode is still on. It might come back tomorrow. Then again, it might not. I hope it won't come back and I hope I can update again tomorrow, like I'm supposed to. **

**Again, sorry. **


	20. Auditorium Gift

_Yes! Success!_

"We were actually talking, Temi! And it wasn't so bad, actually. I was actually talking to him and he was talking to me!" Kankuro told Temari excitedly.

"Lucky you," Temari said soberly. "He still hates me guts."

"Naw, I'm sure he hates all of you, not just your guts."

His sister groaned and banged her head against the kitchen table.

"Oh lighten up, I was teasing. I don't think he hates you. Just dislikes you."

Temari groaned louder.

"It's because you have to be yourself. At least if you're yourself, then he won't hate you just for being 'fake.' He just doesn't want to be forced into a friendship. That never works, not for him or anyone else."

She smiled and nodded in agreement.

"You know, I thought you were pretty stupid. Maybe there's something more to your thick skull than I thought."

Kankuro smirked.

"Shows what you know. Hey!" he yelped as Temari smacked his arm.

"Don't be mean!"

The door lock began to jiggle and they both tensed. "Just relax," Kankuro breathed. "And be yourself!"

The door swung open.

"Brr, it's freezing out there, shut the door already!"

Kankuro flinched at how aggressive her tone was. How would Gaara take that?

"Alright, alright, let me get in first, crazy-" Gaara said, a scowl on his face.

"If you say the b word I'm going to bash your head in the door."

Gaara stared at her hard and she returned the look steadily. Then he shrugged and turned away from her, climbing upstairs.

Smirking ever so slightly.

* * *

><p>Yes, it was a start.<p>

But as Christmas drew near, Gaara began to dread the holiday.

He really, really didn't want to celebrate it with... well anyone. Christmas was a foreign concept to him.

Everything it stood for, he'd never experienced, not until Naruto.

Happiness. Love. Giving.

The latter he hadn't experienced yet.

Well, not until Naruto sprung a Christmas gift on him.

* * *

><p>"Gaara, you'll never guess what I got you!"<p>

Gaara closed his eyes. He shook his head ever so slightly.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that."

"Stop speaking," Gaara sat out of the corner of his mouth, trying not to draw any more attention to himself. He didn't like it when Naruto made him talk in front of other kids. It made him self conscious, especially when they all eyed him like he was an alien. He was, with the difference between his life and theirs. "Come on," Naruto whined, voice slightly lower. "I'm not returning it, I made Jiraiya take me to the store and he said he wouldn't be caught dead in that particular store. So I went to too much effort for you to brush it off."

"I-" Gaara stopped talking as the loudspeaker came on and the morning announcements ran.

I'm not brushing you off. I just can't accept a gift, he wrote, ripping a corner off his paper.

Y can't u?

Gaara took a few moments to think, then write down a reply.

I don't have any money and it would upset me if I couldn't repay you. 

A smile formed on Naruto's face as he read the note. He grinned at Gaara and began to scribble on the paper, not even glancing down. So unsurprisingly, his scribblings were a little hard to read, but Gaara could make out words in the tangled mess.

Silly Gaara. X-mas is 4 unreckited love. 

Gaara frowned.

Unreckited?

Naruto bit his lip and tried again.

Unracketed? 

Gaara shook his head. He crossed out both mispellings and wrote the proper spelling:

Unrequited. And that's not what I meant. I don't want a gift because I don't want you spending money on me. I'd feel like some for not being able to give you a gift. 

It was embarrassing how long Naruto took to read it. But when he did, he quickly replied.

U don't have 2 give me a gift. 

I would feel like scum if I didn't.

So wud I. So U R getting a gift whether u want it or not! 

Gaara sighed, but he did accept that Naruto would give him it whether he wanted to or not. And he would have to repay the blond somehow...

Because he didn't believe in unrequited love.

* * *

><p>"You ready?" Naruto asked excitedly.<p>

"Sure," Gaara grumbled unenthusiastically. "Why are you giving it to me now? Christmas is two weeks away."

"Because I- well I- might not see you the last week-and ugh, well I bought it for you and I wanted to give it to you before Christmas because- oh just open it so I can give it to you and you'll understand why!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Impatient," Gaara stated, poking the object in the dark.

They sat behind the curtains on stage in the auditorium, a new hideout for their lunch time hiding places. It was really dark back here, but neither of them really minded. They sat across from each other, Gaara slouching against the wall and Naruto across from him, both hands behind his back. The redhead would never tell the blond, but he felt slightly nervous when people kept their hands behind their backs. He always got this nervous jump in his chest, a flicker of fear and panic whenever they moved towards him or even moved at all. Like they had weapons behind their backs.

Naruto brought one hand forward, blindly grabbing through the darkness. This kind of darkness allowed them to see the dim outlines of each other and maybe a flicker of red or yellow when one of them moved. He found the redhead's hand and flipped it palm up.

"Take it," he said, placing something in Gaara's hand.

Gaara felt it.

"It's a pencil," he said, putting it down near his foot.

"Yeah. I didn't say it was _the_ gift, did I? This is just an accessory. This is the gift," Naruto giggled. Gaara rolled his eyes. He felt something fall in his lap. Rectangular and thick. He felt it.

"Naruto-"

"It's a sketchpad. To make up for Sasuke's bitchiness, you know?"

Gaara smiled. He shook his head in the darkness and exhaled, grinning broadly.

He couldn't say with words what he was feeling, so instead, he tried to transfer the feeling with a hug.

"So you like it?"

"What do you think?"

And judging by the kiss the blond planted on him, he was sure Naruto had caught his gratitude.

* * *

><p><strong>Aw. Not a pointless chapter. Somewhat significant for later. <strong>

**Yay. Slump is gone. **


	21. Never Use the F Word

**Let's do this: **

Gaara filled four pages of his new sketchpad in two hours. Mostly because he was bored, but it had a lot to do with the fact that the sketchpad was half the size of his old one. But still, it was the thought counted, the thought that counted even more than the gesture. The giving and the receiving feeling lingered every time he touched the sketchpad. It was the best gift Naruto could've gotten him. Now he had to get Naruto something just as good. But there was a problem. He'd never had money in his life. If he did, he'd spend it on Naruto. But... he didn't. So really that thought didn't count.

He groaned, laying his head down on the computer table. He wanted Naruto to feel just as happy as he did. And how could he do that without money? Just the thought made him feel guilty, like he was being cheap or something, like Naruto didn't matter. No, the blond mattered very much to him, that's what ate at him. Gaara wanted to pay him back somehow, but he knew there's no way it would have monetary value. He'd go for sentimental value.

As long as it was the thought that counted, right?

"Psst. Gaara," Naruto whispered as he passed him. "What's up?"

The redhead nodded at him as he walked by, then resumed thinking about his dilemma.

"Psst, Gaara, what's up?" Naruto said again, going back to his seat.

Gaara didn't acknowledge him or his weirdness. Naruto would be Naruto. Naruto was just being Naruto.

* * *

><p>Kankuro slammed his locker door shut. Just as it closed, he cursed, remembering he still had things to pack. He began to unlock his locker again, but his hand fumbled at the cheap lock and he messed it up again. "Damn," he cursed, trying the combination again. He was running kind of late now. Most kids were gone, right now. It's a good thing he didn't take the bus, or he would've missed it. Instead he got to walk home whenever he wanted. He'd always gotten whatever he wanted, hadn't he?<p>

A familiar guilt gripped his throat and he swallowed, shaking his head ever so slightly.

"-That dumb faggot's gonna' regret-"

Kankuro's eyes narrowed.

Who was talking?

The term _faggot _had never meant anything to him before. It had been an insult. A derogatory, mean term that was a good, insulting name for boys you hated. He knew what it meant, of course, but it had never seemed significant before. Not before he'd found out Gaara was gay. Now faggot seemed wrong to say to him. Now he felt guilty for ever saying the word, or even thinking the word. He actually felt guilty for not reprimanding his friends every time they used the word. But he wasn't their parents, was he? If they wanted to use a disgusting word like that, then they could if they wanted. It was a free country. He wasn't responsible for them, right?

As much as he'd begun to hate that word.

Gay used to mean stupid and weak to him.

Now it was just... the word for different, for having different preferences than the rest of humanity.

Faggot used to be just a mean word, another word for someone stupid, someone who didn't fit in, a freak.

Now he didn't even want to think of it, much less use it anymore.

No, Gaara wasn't a faggot. He was his little brother. And being gay was nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with it, right?

He glanced around the corner and saw the retreating backs of boys he vaguely recognized as the boys in his Math class. They'd talked occasionally when they were bored, but they weren't close or anything.

He followed them, wondering why they were laughing and why they were running around the school talking about a "faggot" regretting something.

Kankuro found himself in the freshman hallway.

A familiar hallway, to a familiar locker. He glared at the boys, hovering in front of his baby brother's locker, giggling. He scowled. Nothing good could come from this. One of the boys sniggered, then dropped his permanent marker on the ground. "Let's go," he chuckled to his friend. They both left, dropping their black sharpies to the ground carelessly before leaving. Kankuro went over to Gaara's locker. He read the words they'd written. Then looked in the direction they'd left, suddenly murderous and ready to chase after them and give them a real nasty beating. But they'd gone and there was no point. Instead, he'd work frantically to get these stupid words off Gaara's locker.

On the locker in permanent black marker that would take forever to rub and wash off was:

**Do the world a favor and slit your wrists, faggot. Maybe if we r all lucky your boyfriend will get depressed and follow u.**

* * *

><p><strong>I hate homophobes. <strong>

**Isn't that nice of Kankuro? **

**Anyhow... yep, that's it. Sorry if it seems choppy and kind of... pointless. I'm still recovering from my sickness (the Slump). **


	22. Big Brother Revealed

Temari and Gaara both looked up as Kankuro came home.

"Where have you been?" Temari scowled. "You're going to have to fish your food out of the freezer."

"Um... I was afterschool," he said.

"For what?" Gaara asked, noticing his brother's quick glance at him before averting his eyes. He sensed something was up.

"I hope it was for Math. I've seen your report card," Temari said.

"You look at my report card?" Kankuro half yelled. "Why?"

"Because I'm in charge of mail," she murmured. "And-"

"You're a control freak," Gaara finished.

"Ha! He's right!" Kankuro said gleefully. "No more looking through my mail!"

"We don't get that much mail in the first place, it's not my fault I had to look. I was curious."

"It is your fault," Gaara murmured.

"Yeah, for being so nosy," Kankuro chuckled. "Listen, did you get the school directory? You have it, right?"

"No, of course not," Temari grumbled. "I'm not _nosy." _

"Haha, very funny," Kankuro said sarcastically. "Just tell me where it is or give it to me."

"So polite," Temari sighed. "I think it's on the table somewhere. It's blue. find it yourself. Why do you want it, anyway?"

Kankuro rifled through the papers. Their table wasn't that messy, so he found it easily and quickly.

"Uh, no reason, just want to find someone's name."

"That is a reason," Gaara said quietly, while Temari said, at the same time, "no shit."

"Oooh, both of you seem feisty today. I think I'll leave the room," the eldest Sabaku brother said, sauntering away.

The redhead watched him retreat suspiciously. Why had Kankuro come back so early? Why did he want the phone book? Kankuro had an irritated grimace on his face that deepened into an angry scowl the moment his back was turned. Gaara couldn't see his expression, but he could see the slightest tension in Kankuro's shoulders, both hands clenching slightly, like they'd rather be in fists than loose. Something was definitely up. Gaara wondered what it was. Then he looked back at his homework. But of course, how could he focus on Math when Kankuro had a secret that was probably about him?

He waited a few minutes before following his brother quietly up the stairs. He walked silently to his brother's room. The door was closed. He pressed his ear against the wood, feeling a little stupid. Like he was an eavesdropping little sibling trying to hear something embarrassing about their older brother. For a moment, he couldn't hear anything but some shuffling and some beeping as his brother dialed something. There was a little muttering, then a long pause, some more muttering and another pause. Gaara was feeling a little stiff and a tad bored. He thought about just going back downstairs, maybe draw something in his new sketchpad. Oh, thinking about that, he would have to brainstorm, think fo something to give Naruto for Christmas. He really wanted to give it to him before Christmas and he'd have to-

"If you ever mess with my brother's locker ever again, I will fucking beat the shit out of you, then shove it back up your ass," his brother exclaimed angrily, loudly enough for Gaara to hear him clearly.

_My locker? _Gaara thought, his attention recaptured. He crept closer to his older brother's door and strained his hearing, but it was unnecessary.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?"

An angry pause.

"Asshole, I'm not a faggot! And calling someone gay is not an insult! No, shut the fuck up, I don't care-! You know what? I don't care what you think! Do it again and I'll bash your brains out, not that there's much to destroy in that empty skull of yours!"

There was a beep.

Kankuro grunted and there was a some furious beeping as he began to jab another number into the phone.

"Hey you-!"

Gaara sighed. Someone had messed with his locker again. And judging by his brother's angry ranting right now, he was sure they'd done something bad, left a particularly nasty message today.

Wait. His brother... was pissed. He was angry at them... for trying to hurt him.

Was Kankuro defending him? Trying to protect him without his knowing? Why? To preserve his feelings? He didn't mind their petty insults anymore. They didn't matter. They couldn't hurt him with their words or their stupid notes on his locker. None of them had the guts to confront him face to face, because if they did, they knew he could defend himself. If they did things indirectly, then there was no way for Gaara to fight them, only ignore them.

But knowing that Kankuro was defending him from pain, no matter how stupid and petty and shallow, no matter how easily brushed off, meant a lot to him.

Knowing Kankuro was being his big brother meant a lot to him.

* * *

><p><strong>Um...thanks for reviews, especially the repeat reviewers.<strong>

**I'm especially grateful to the people who've read and reviewed my other Naruto fics or have put me in Author Alert/Favorite. You're awesome for that. **

**Special thanks to HeartsNaruto for... reading every Naruto fic I have, plus my Twilight parody. You deserve honorable mention. **


	23. Another, Colder Christmas Memory

"Mistletoe."

"What?" Gaara asked.

"Mistletoe! Come on, you've heard of- oh you haven't? Well that's a bummer," Naruto sighed. "Here, look. This sprig of mistletoe makes the two people under it kiss. Get it? You have to kiss me because it's the rules!"

"You don't need a weed for me to kiss you. You're not that desperate are you?" Gaara sighed, leaning forward.

"Get a room!" Temari called cheerfully from the kitchen.

"We have one!" Naruto called back. "Get your own."

The blond giggled.

Gaara watched him, a little sadly. He'd never had a "Christmas" experience. His experiences... he shuddered slightly. He gritted his teeth ever so slightly, memories starting to flash before his eyes. No, he didn't want to dwell on the past, no he didn't want to dwell on the past-

_It was cold here. Dark. The floor was freezing as he huddled against the wall. His thin clothing offered no warmth to his body. _

It's the past, it's the past, they're just memories, you're here, you're not there, you're not even that kid anymore.

_"It's okay, Gaara. It's nice and quiet in here, isn't it? Nice and alone, just like we like it, isn't it?" _

Gaara felt a twinge of pain, a twinge of guilty longing. Shukaku.

_"Gaara! No you don't! Don't slip! Stay with me, little buddy. Stay-! That's it! We're getting out of here!" _

He was beginning to sink into memories. No! He couldn't! He had a life now! He had a friend, more than a friend, who'd opened his world to... everything. To his sister, his brother, warmth, love, caring, giving, everything that made life worth living. He couldn't dwell on the past anymore. For a while now, he'd felt so happy, so right, so normal, he'd been able to push his past behind him. But it had sprung up on him again, when he'd least expected. He couldn't destroy the past. He couldn't forget.

_Shattering glass. The window that had been meant to torture him, showing him the world above that he couldn't reach, was now his escape. Shukaku forced Gaara to his feet and through that locked window. _

"Gaara? You're looking kind of pale, and I don't mean Gaara pale, I meant like dead pale. Believe it!"

_Broken glass. His feet stung, but it didn't matter. Shukaku could still feel Gaara fading fast. Any moment, he'd be gone. _

"That's not nice."

"What do you know about nice, Kankuro? Besides, it's true, look at him."

_Running. Pain in his feet, on his arms and hands, his face, everywhere. But mainly his feet, embedded with shards of glass. Everywhere else was just minor scratches from the glass. _

"I thought redheads were supposed to have freckles."

_Alarmed screams. Pounding behind him. _

"I thought blondes were supposed to be stupid, but look how I turned out."

_Angry yelling. Temari's frightened sobs, because she knew what had happened. "What's going on? What broke?" Kankuro asked his father, clueless as he had been back then. "Wow, what happened to Gaara? I thought he was in his room. You said he didn't want to spend time with us." _

"Not much of an argument for me."

"Are you calling me stupid, Kankuro?"

"Ha! Blondes rule, right Temari?"

_"The window. Gaara, you idiot, why would you break the basement window? What is wrong with you, you little bastard? The window's broken, Kankuro. Your brother broke the window and he's going to regret it. Little asshole hides in his room to avoid his family, then breaks a window to make trouble." Gaara could remember Kankuro's suddenly angry look. He'd been pissed off. He'd truly believed Gaara was ruining his Christmas family moment on purpose. _"I didn't mean to- the window, it-" Gaara muttered. Then he blinked. No, he wasn't there. He was here. Yes, he was here. With Naruto. With Temari and Kankuro, but the different Temari and Kankuro, not the old ones. Kankuro knew. And Kankuro cared. Temari cared. They were different people now. Or at least, that's what it seemed like to him. Then again, he was a different Gaara than before too. He wasn't the Gaara who rejected his family anymore. He'd given them a second chance and they'd proved themselves, eventually.

No way was he going to regress. No way was he going to hold on to past judgements.

If he held on to the past, he'd never have the future.

"Gaara, are you okay?"

Damnit. He hadn't meant to draw any attention to himself. Not now that he had it under control.

"Yeah," he said, trying to keep his tone normal, not too quiet and brooding.

But then, quiet and brooding was his normal tone.

Temari eyed him. She'd heard him say window. And she could remember too. Their eyes met and she searched his eyes for pain, for hurt, for the memories they shared. But there was none. He was fine. He was okay. Right now, he really didn't want everyone to make a fuss over him. "Hey guys, want to me to make a Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve?" she asked, knowing that that would draw their attention. It did. "NO!" Kankuro exclaimed, shaking his head furiously. "Nuh-uh, now way!"

Temari scowled playfully.

"You're mean."

"Aw, she's right! I'll eat whatever you can make! I'll eat anything, believe it!" Naruto said, raising both arms and clapping wildly for no reason.

"Provided it's edible, I'm sure you would, Naruto, but Temari-"

"Keep talking and you'll sleep in the backyard."

Her brother shut up immediately.

Temari grinned at him. Her eyes flitted to Gaara. There was a silent gratitude in his eyes.

"That's better."


	24. Subconscious Convolution

_It was dark here. Cold. _

_But that was alright. He was used to it. _

_Wait, no, that wasn't right. It wasn't because he was used to it. _

_It was because he knew it was only temporary. _

_He would never go back to this dark place. _

_"Is that right?"_

_Gaara started violently. He'd thought he was alone. _

_"He'll come back. And then what will happen? Will you go back to the darkness? Or will you embrace pain? Real pain, not the numb pain that this darkness can offer." _

_"Shukaku?" Gaara called. But this voice didn't seem like Shukaku's. It was different. _

_"You know your boyfriend will get in the way. You know how difficult you made things for yourself? So what's it going to be, Gaara? You don't have much of a choice. You know he'll come back. You know he'll be wound up tight from being away from his punching bag. He'll have to calm himself down somehow and you're available. You realize just how bad things are for you once he gets back? You think anyone who is now aware of his abuse are going to keep quiet? All the people Naruto's told, all those people won't keep quiet, especially adult figures." _

_"Kakashi wouldn't-"_

_"But as you recall, he's not the only one who knows, is he? That nosy Tsunade and Jiraiya know too. And they're not willing to keep their mouths shut. They want to help you. And you know what that means, right? They'll spill your secrets like waterfalls. And then, you'll be gone in a flash-"_

_"No," Gaara murmured. "No one's ever cared like Naruto. No one's ever gotten the secret out of me and so out in the open. Too many people knowing my secret... he can't vanish like he always could." _

_"Do you want him to vanish? Disappear out of your life?" _

_"Surely my subconscious isn't that stupid. Explain what you mean by that."_

_"I mean if he disappears, goes to jail, then what? What happens to you? You have no relatives who will care for you and even if you did, then you'd be seperated from dear Naruto. Now, look at it in the real world. Who will take care of you? Temari isn't old enough. You'll all be seperated and all that 'family' bond will be torn. Now that the bond is there, you know it'll hurt more when it's yanked apart. You've grown soft, Gaara. Everything will hurt. Back in the old days, you had no ties to break, no bonds, nothing to restrain you. But now, you have feelings. Feelings that might've felt good in the beginning, but will only tear you apart in the end." _

_"Yeah, well now I'm stuck with them, aren't I? So what do you suggest I do? What's the point in this? To remind me of what I already knew, what I've been putting off?" _

_"Well that is a problem, isn't it? If you tear away, you'll be free of your father, but also fo this place, of Naruto and perhaps your siblings as well, lost in the System. And then there's the issue that you yourself won't have any choice in the matter. Tsunade and Jiraiya and so many other troublesome people might spill the beans." _

_"But no, they don't have any proof, anymore, do they?" Gaara said weakly. "I'm not hurt anymore." _

_"But you will be, when he gets back." _

_"He'll say I'm sick like the last time. Or something. No one has to... no one has proof." _

_"Gaara, Gaara, Gaara. You realize how bad your situation is right now? You actually want to suffer at your father's hands, instead of having to lose your friends, don't you? But you're not to same scared litttle kid. So what will you do? Tell the authorities and lose everything? You've never had anything before, much less _everything _before. Or stay quiet, take your suffering in silence, and still feel warm and happy with your friends?" _

_Gaara couldn't answer. The voice was right. His hands were tied. _

_"You know Naruto will want what's best for you. He'll do his best to get you away from your Dad, even if it means getting you away from him. Oho, I just realized just how bad your situation is, adding that blond nuisance to the equation! It'll be hard to keep hin quiet, won't it?" the voice cackled maliciously. "When you think about it, everything's confusing right now." _

_"It's thinking that's making it confusing," Gaara said. "There has to be an easy solution." _

_"Of course there's an easy solution. But will the end result be the one you want? That's the question you have to answer."_

* * *

><p><strong>Aww! Convolution! <strong>

**Now it's been awhile since I've been writing stories while attending the horror known as school. And I've noticed that each grade gets harder. So I'll see if I can update as fast as before. I think I can. But that depends on just how hard this next grade in hell is. Plus, I have to update my other stories, not just on Fanfiction, but Fictionpress. Don't worry, though, Fanfiction always comes first because it's more popular than my Fictionpress stories. That makes me a little sad, but it's the truth, you know?**


	25. It's Not the Pizza

Gaara woke up with that familiar dread in his chest.

And he knew just how his day was going to be.

It was going to suck.

_I couldn't have had to have that dark dream on the day after Christmas? Why Christmas day? _

Now Christmas at Gaara's was not what anyone else saw as a good Christmas day. No tree or decorations or anything besides Temari's attempts at breakfast. Of course, he couldn't leave because honestly, he didn't have anywhere to go and he'd feel like crap if he left. That was one of the problems of having emotional ties with someone. It meant making yourself miserable to keep them satisfied. You were supposed to get this small happy feeling when you made another person happy, but he really wasn't feeling it.

For almost two hours, he expected to suffer quietly at home with his siblings attempting to be nice to him.

But actually, it wasn't so bad.

Kankuro teased Temari about her shitty cooking until she got tired of cooking and her brother combined. She decided to just throw a pizza in the microwave. But somehow, she managed to burn that too. She opened the microwave door and smoke spewed out. The kitchen smelt like, well burned pizza. Temari inhaled some of it. She began to cough violently, but the coughing turned to laughter. But she quickly scowled again as Kankuro came into the room and began laughing at her. Since it was Christmas, though, she quickly began laughing again. While Temari cleaned out the microwave, Kankuro watched her and Gaara ate the burned pizza.

"No way. You're going to eat that?" Kankuro said disbelievingly as his brother poked it with his finger. Gaara didn't answer. He picked it up. And promptly dropped it. "Fuck, it's hot," the redhead cussed.

"No cussing on Christmas. New rule," Temari said.

"No burning on Christmas should be a rule," Kankuro said. Then laughing as she hit him with her oven mitts. Gaara chewed on the burned remains of the once living pizza. It wasn't too bad, actually. He spat out the ashes, but the remains that were still pizza were good. Temari tried ordering pizza, but most pizza places were closed. They didn't expect anyone to be ordering junk food on Christmas. Come to think of it, no one should be ordering out on Christmas day. But then, how many kids spent Christmas without their parents?

Parents.

Now Gaara's stomach is feeling tight again. Anxiety drops like a lead into his chest, heavier and tighter than before.

His father.

Oh shit.

"Gaara! Where are you going? You alright?" Kankuro exclaimed in alarm as the redhead stood up, violently pushing his chair back. Gaara didn't reply because he was sure if he opened his mouth, something wet and gross would come out instead of words, so he thought it would be best to keep his jaw clamped tightly shut. He ran to the bathroom. Gaara tried to retch as quietly as possible, but his siblings could tell he was puking.

"Look what your cooking does, Temari."

"He didn't have to eat it!"

* * *

><p><strong>Give me a minute. <strong>


	26. Don't Know What to Name This Chapter

Gaara felt empty. Not just physically.

He felt spent.

So many problems pressing at his head. He had so much to deal with. He had so many problems and too little solutions. He just didn't know what to do. And there was no one to ask because honestly, he had the answers and the questions. But what decision? What path could he choose? How long did he have to choose? His stomach was feeling tighter. He was empty, but any moment he was going to dry heave. "Gaara, dude, you okay?" Gaara tried to swallow, gulp down the sick coming up his throat. As disgusting as it sounded. The redhead leaned over the toilet just in case. He tried to compose himself, but his voice still trembled as he spoke.

"I-I'm fine."

"Is it Temari's cooking?" Kankuro asked.

What a good explanation. And he didn't even have to come up with it.

"Yeah," Gaara said. Leaning over the toilet again. Ugh, his throat felt so raw...

"You're too nice. You didn't have to eat that shit," Kankuro said.

"I didn't... want it to go to waste. Besides... she would've been upset," Gaara murmured.

"Not as upset as she is now," Kankuro said. "You okay, man? You sound really bad in there."

"Sorry."

"Sorry for what? Throwing up? You need help?"

"Help?" Gaara groaned. "What the hell do you mean by help?"

"Jeez that came out wrong," Kankuro said. "Erm-"

"I know what you meant," the redhead moaned, not wanting to make his brother explain what he'd understood. "Th-thanks, Kankuro. But I'm fine. Really. J-just go to the kitchen and k-k-keep Temari out of the kitchen, okay? G-guard the kitchen with your life."

Kankuro chuckled.

"Sure thing, man. For both of our sakes. For the world's sake," Kankuro said, his tone melodramatic.

Gaara snickered. Then felt something rise up into his throat. He leaned over the toilet again.

And his big brother winced as he heard a squelch and a nasty smacking noise.

"It's not even in my stomach anymore," Gaara whispered. "Shit. Not good."

He tried to make his stomach relax. But he couldn't.

These emotions were awful. Gaara missed the days when he-

_No! Stop complaining! There's no going back! If you keep complaining, then you can't do the simplest thing, which is just DEAL WITH IT. Do it. Deal with your emotions. _

_I'm overwhelmed, _Gaara thought, replying to the voice in his head.

_"I think you're nuts. Come on, Gaara, what's with you? You're not hearing voices. You're just thinking aloud in your head and you seem to think your thoughts are voices. They're not. They're your thoughts, your words, your conscience, I guess you could say. Everything you hear are your thoughts. Not voices. Silly Gaara," a voice that sounded suspiciously like Naruto said. "Believe it! You're not crazy! No crazier than me!" The voice laughed and Gaara knew it was his boyfriend. _

_Wrong. If I'm hearing you, then I must be going insane. _

But now that he thought of it... Naruto was a part of him.

* * *

><p><strong>And... update. Two short updates. <strong>

**R.I.P. Wallace Hartley. **


	27. A Pic Can't Capture Moments Like This

Jiraiya surprised Naruto by cooking a simple Christmas breakfast.

And Naruto, easily satisfied, declared it the best meal ever.

Grinning as he thought of his boyfriend, wondering if Temari was cooking for him.

"Poor Gaara," Naruto whispered. Now he felt guilty for grinning at his boyfriend's plight.

* * *

><p>Gaara's throat felt so raw and pained, like it had been torn open, but drinking a lot of water helped to numb the pain a little. Swallowing hurt. But it was nothing compared to... damnit, stop thinking about this shit on Christmas. <em>Just... try not to be miserable until tomorrow. Can you do that, Gaara? <em>he asked himself.

_"Yeah, Gaara, stop being such a sour pot. Just don't think for once. It's easy! I would know, right?" the Naruto inside his head laughed. _

Gaara smiled. He wished Naruto was here. But there was nothing to be done about it. Nothing but leave the bathroom and hope his siblings didn't ask too many questions he couldn't answer without things getting uncomfortable.

Gaara's siblings didn't seem too suspicious, though. They accepted his "Temari's shit cooking" explanation.

The smell still lingered, so it wasn't too hard to believe it.

* * *

><p>Naruto laughed. He hugged Jiraiya.<p>

"Thank you so much! This is the best gift ever!"

"That would mean so much more if you'd stop repeating it every ten minutes."

"Aww, but it's not the words, it's the feelings that count! And the hug! Come on! You know you want a hug! I'm like a teddy bear!"

"More like an octopus. It's like you have tentacles," the old man grumbled. But he did give Naruto a hug in return. He did wince slightly as the blond's tight grip temporarily robbed him of breath.

But he still smiled.

* * *

><p>Kankuro tried setting a fire in the fireplace. But he dropped the flame on the hearth and Temari began to freak out. But not in that girly way of screaming and waving her arms. Instead, she began cussing frantically and waving her arms. Gaara, without thinking, sprung up in alarm. "Relax, weirdos," Kankuro reprimanded. "Relax, it's the hearth. It's not flame-able." "I believe the word you're looking for is flammable," Gaara said, slightly irked. He sat back down while Temari laughed at her own antics. "Guess that shows you who to look to when there's a fire!" she laughed.<p>

Gaara smirked. Then grinned.

"If we're supposed to look to Kankuro during a fire the house is going to burn down."

His siblings glanced at each other.

Then they burst into wild laughter.

* * *

><p>Jiraiya set a cheery fire. He'd gotten a special wood that turned the flames blue and green.<p>

Naruto, delighted by the simplest things, watched the flames dance across the wood, mesmerized.

Naruto might seem ADHD, but once his attention was caught on something, he never looked away.

The flames were oddly hypnotizing.

* * *

><p>Gaara watched his siblings fight over what to watch on TV.<p>

As odd as it sounded, he enjoyed their silly bantering. Two siblings fighting over the TV remote seemed so normal. And right now, he really needed something normal.

* * *

><p>Naruto started cooking Ramen for dinner, but Jiraiya wouldn't let him, saying that since it was Christmas, he wasn't allowed to eat junk food. Instead, he had to settle for pie.<p>

* * *

><p>When they'd settled on a Christmas Carol special, he tried lighting a fire.<p>

"Surprise, surprise, I did it," Gaara said, smirking at Kankuro, who stuck his tongue out.

* * *

><p>Naruto fidgeted impatiently. "Come on," he begged the oven.<p>

"Talking to it doesn't make it work faster. Just proves how insane you are," Jiraiya called. "Stop watching the Christmas pie cook and get over here."

"Is that all we're eating for dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome!"

* * *

><p>Gaara liked warmth. He got as close to the fire as he dared. He leaned against the brick hearth. And was surprised as Kankuro sat next to him. Kankuro's body pressed lightly against his. For a moment, Gaara felt a flicker of panic. Kankuro looked a lot like their father... but he wasn't. He was nothing like it. Never would be. Kankuro was his brother. Not his father. Maybe it was just because of the heat or because it was Christmas, but right then, he felt the love of family. A connection with his two siblings. A family tie he'd never truly felt or even understood. A feeling of belonging.<p>

Kankuro put an arm around Gaara's shoulder. Tentatively.

Gaara didn't push him away.

"Would you two like a room?" Temari giggled.

Kankuro dropped his arm, smiling. He patted Gaara's back before letting both hands drop onto his knees.

"We were having a tender moment. Come over here and join us!"

"No thanks!"

"Come on, Temari. It's Christmas. We'll never have a moment like this ever again."

Of course, when he puts it like that...

They scooted apart so Temari could sit between them. She slung both arms around their necks, tugging them closer. She giggled, smiling broadly.

Both of her brothers rolled their eyes. With wide smiles.

_Wish we had a camera._

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry. But um... highschool starts tomorrow... so things officially get difficult for me. Highschool is my offical job. But I made writing my primary job.<strong>

**I know, I know my priorities are ordered wrong. **

**But I like writing better than studying. So writing is high on my list. **

**I should be able to update soon. But school eats up a lot of writing time, so... updates might possibly be slower.**

**I hate school. **


	28. Naruto's Sugar High: Gaara's Annoyance

Gaara couldn't sleep of course. But he was content just sitting in his bed and grinning like some moron, thinking about that odd feeling in his chest. He felt light inside. Instead of being kept up by worry, he was being kept awake by energy, a warm lively feeling in his chest. That moment earlier had been so cheesy and stupid and corny. But... it had been great because it hadn't been fake or forced. It had felt wonderfully realistic. Like being with Naruto, but different. Not better or worse. Different. And for once, he couldn't dampen that light feeling in his chest, no matter how hard his pessimism poked at him.

* * *

><p>Now that Christmas day was over, Naruto couldn't sleep either. He was a little buzzed from all that sugar he'd consumed. Normally Jiraiya knew not to give him sugar, but the old man felt like giving him something he wanted.<p>

Jiraiya knew he'd made a mistake.

No, his mistake was not giving Naruto's sugar.

No, the mistake was not locking Naruto in his room.

No, the mistake was not eventually going insane as the blond wrecked his room, making scary, loud noises in there.

No, the mistake was not shoving Naruto out of the house and locking him out in the freezing cold.

His mistake was not kicking Naruto out of his house sooner.

It's not child abuse or neglect or whatever. Naruto had a coat. And it was snowing sparkly snow. Naruto would find amusement somewhere. Jiraiya did feel somewhat guilty, since it was Christmas. But when he looked out after two minutes of guilt, the blond was gone.

Now he felt kind of betrayed. It seemed like the guilt wasn't mutual. For a moment, he wondered if Naruto knew he was only kidding and would've let him back in the moment he knocked. But... Naruto had run away pretty quick. He wondered if he should pursue. Naruto on a sugar high, running around... not a good idea to leave him unattended. Jiraiya sighed. Damn, this wasn't fair. He was old and it was cold outside and Naruto was energetic and liked to run outside... well no point in chasing him, right? He was way faster. He'd just wait till the blond sucker ran himself sober, then either collapsed or came back. Let him have his sugar spaz out. It was Christmas, yes, and he did feel guilty for not spending time with the kid. But right now, the kid wasn't in the right state of mind. Or any state of mind at all.

* * *

><p>Gaara watched the snow drift lazily down outside from his position on his back, arms behind his head. From this angle, it looked amazing. The sky was dark gray. So solidly, it was more black. Snowflakes drifted down cheerily, gracefully spinning down like autumn leaves. Occasionally, the clouds passed over and the moon shone briefly through the near constant cloud cover. Those moments were amazing. The moon shone like a perfect white coin in a ring of black sky raining silvery white sparkles. Everything seemed so... perfect.<p>

And he just had to draw it.

He scrambled down the stairs, a little clumsily, tripping on the bottom step. He fell on his knees, but scrabbled up quickly without faltering. He had to capture these little moments. If he did, then they would be recorded forever on his paper. He could look at them and remember, touch the details and the book and the pencil and be transported back in time. As stupid as that was, sometimes the heart does what it needs to. He needed to draw the moments and he was going to. It was something he wanted and needed to do.

He got his new sketchpad, courtesy of Naruto.

He got back into his position, keeping the lights off. He looked up at the scene again.

For a few moments, it looked a little off. Less perfect than before. Gaara began wishing he hadn't left. But then, things slid back into place, everything, every piece fell back into place like a puzzle.

Gaara began to draw. He couldn't see what he was drawing, but he didn't need to. He could feel the picture flowing off his hands. He didn't need to see it.

At one point, the moon was blocked out completely. Gaara took this moment to sit up properly, up to the window sill, his nose an inch from the glass, his hand still moving without his eyes. It's dark. He can't see much. White flurries. If the redhead stared hard enough, he could see shapes and pictures in the snow. The snow seemed to shape itself into patterns, patterns only he could see. He had to draw them. But it became harder to see the patterns as the moon shed its light once more. It was then he saw the dark figure on the ground.

He squinted.

Maybe he was losing his mind?

The redhead shook his head, closed his eyes, and looked again.

The person was running all around his backyard. He looked like an ant from here. Gaara frowned. He put down his sketchpad. The person in the yard was ruining his perfect picture. Oh, wait, his reaction should be something like, "who's this nut ball in my backyard?" not, "he's ruining my picture." Maybe he was losing it. Oh well. Time to go into the backyard and see who this weirdo is. Gaara got up, pulling on his boots. Then yanking them off as he realized how cold it would be outside and just sticking with sneakers. He didn't want to get wet for some stranger in his backyard. Just go back, give the guy a nosebleed, then go back inside. Maybe finish his picture... no, not now that the perfect, smooth snow landscape in his backyard was torn up.

But as he got into his backyard, he heard odd gibbering and funny noises.

Noises that sounded like...

"Naruto?"

There was a pause. And then, something slammed into Gaara's midriff. The redhead gasped as he was suddenly on the ground, in the fucking snow! Shit!

He rolled, shoving himself off the ground quickly. He swiped at the offending cold. Two arms wrapped around his waist. He panicked for a moment and yanked himself away. "N-Naruto-?" he shivered, teeth beginning to chatter. "W-wha-?"

Naruto grinned at him lopsidedly.

"Gaaaaarrrraaa!" he screamed happily. The blond erupted into wild giggling. He began laughing wildly. Then he paused abruptly.

"What's so funny?" he asked, his voice suddenly solemn. "What's wrong, Gaara? Why are youuuu sooooo-"

He swayed. Then he began giggling.

"SERIOUSLY! I want therapy! I want candy!" Naruto yelled at the sky. He fell to his knees, hands in a praying positon. "Please?"

"Huh?" Gaara said. His boyfriend wasn't this weird, surely? Not normally? He put a hand to Naruto's forehead. Naruto... wasn't even cold. He was warm. As always. "Naruto, you sick or something?"

"YES! Yes, thank you Gaara, you understand, right? I am sick! Sick of not getting candy!"

Gaara blinked.

"Ugh-?"

* * *

><p>The redhead dragged the blond into his house. Naruto resisted, then ran inside. That took Gaara by surprise. Then he came to his senses and ran in after the blond, worried that he'd wake his siblings up. And then there'd be this big drama that would result in white tape on the ground. But when Gaara got inside the house, it was quiet. Where was Naruto? The answer came to him as something blond grabbed him around the waist and squeezed. "Let go," Gaara said. "This is uncomfortable."<p>

"Silly Gaara," Naruto laughed, letting go. "Hugging is _nice." _

The blond giggled softly. Then looked solemn for a moment.

"Hey Gaara, you don't mind my hugging do you?" he said, suddenly looking hurt.

"No, not at all," the redhead said quickly. "It's just it kind of hurt."

Naruto nodded, the broke into a wide grin.

"Hey, I was just thinking-" Gaara didn't let him finish thinking.

"Quiet! It's late. Temari and Kankuro are asleep," he hissed.

"Asleep? At a time like this?" Naruto said. He got this odd look in his eyes and started to go upstairs, but the redhead held him back.

"No," Gaara said firmly. "Are you high? Did someone drug you?"

"In a way," Naruto said dreamily. "Hey, let's go to the park!"

"Wha-?" suddenly Naruto's iron grip was on his arm, the door was open, and he and Naruto were gone.

* * *

><p>Gaara really wanted to kill his boyfriend. But... he loved him too much.<p>

Still, it was tempting when Naruto ran of the path, into the cold, snowy landscape of the place he'd been almost lost in recently. Figuratively, of course. But soon to be literally if he didn't stop the sugar high Naruto.

Gaara sighed and pelted after him. But Naruto was much faster and fitter. He was gone in a flash.

"Idiot! Get back here!" Gaara yelled after him.

But the blond just giggled, voice muffled, "catch me if you can!"

He really wanted to kill him now.

Naruto was now out of his line of vision. Shit. What is he supposed to do now?

As he paused to think, Gaara put his hands on his knees, breathing hard since he hadn't been able to at all while running.

"You really are out of shape, aren't you?"

The Sabaku almost jumped out of his skin, but at the moment, it felt frozen solid on his body.

Instead, he just shivered, teeth chattering as he said, disbelievingly:

"Sasuke?"

* * *

><p><strong>Highschool's a bitch. Just missed bus. Got to run. <strong>


	29. Unnamed

Gaara shivered as the wind cut his skin.

He tried to put the sharp cold of the outside into his glare. A glare he aimed at Sasuke. "W-why a-ah are you he-h-here?" Gaara chattered. Damn this cold. Damn his involuntary chattering. It was so frigging cold out here. Damn Naruto!

"I could ask you the same," Sasuke said quietly.

"I don't have to answer," Gaara murmured.

"Then neither do I," Sasuke snorted. "I have another question. Why are you off the path? You're going to get lost."

Gaara didn't respond. He didn't want to talk to Sasuke, especially not now. Every second, Naruto was getting further away. But right now, he wanted to be away with Naruto, instead of alone with the raven. Not that he was scared of him. Just that right now, in the cold and possibly lost, he didn't really want to deal with him right now. Right now, he kind of felt vulnerable. And that was not a feeling he wanted to have with Sasuke around because he was sure the raven would pounce on even the slightest weakness or vulnerability.

The wind picked up, swirling snow around. Gaara flinched as it easily soaked through his coat. Damnit all.

Sasuke took a step towards him. Neither of them were wearing snow boots, Gaara had noticed. It was a stupid thing, he was sure now, but he hadn't been expecting Naruto to run very far. He was such an idiot. Stupid Naruto, stupid Sasuke, stupid weather, stupid him.

"So uh, you cold?" Sasuke said awkwardly.

Gaara stared at him. He smirked in disbelief.

"Too easy," he said.

Sasuke's rather red face split into a grin. "Yeah, sorry," he said. "Stupid thing to say, I know."

They were a foot or two apart now. The redhead waited for the raven to say something else, because he sure as hell wasn't. He did prepare himself for a fight, though he was hoping it wouldn't come to that. If it did, they might be rolling in the snow and that would make him even wetter than he was right now.

"So... um, you come here often?"

Gaara couldn't help it. He laughed.

"Do I seem like an outdoors guy? And why does everyone ask that?"

"What, do guys ask you that all the time?" Sasuke asked.

"No, just that everyone uses that line," Gaara murmured.

"Even you?"

"I have a boyfriend, I don't need cliched pickup lines."

Sasuke's face grew dark for a moment and the redhead tensed. Sasuke was a bit of a ticking bomb, waiting to go off. Any mention of Naruto, even a hint, might make him angry. And then they'd start fighting. But just when Gaara thought Sasuke was going to explode, the raven sighed. He fell to the ground, falling against the tree trunk, near the roots of it. Gaara, tired of standing still, was going to continue looking after Naruto. But... the blond was long gone and his chances of finding him were low. He could stay in one place and hope Naruto found him, but that would feel lazy to him and Naruto's sense of direction was no better than his common sense. What to do, what to do.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked.

"Nowhere," Gaara said, making a quick decision without further pondering it. Naruto had gotten himself into this mess, he could get himself out. And if he couldn't, Gaara was here for backup. Geez, Naruto could be such a pain. Like a dog. Constant care and affection.

But also like a dog, he was always there for you when you needed him.

Just the thought made the redhead want to get up again and begin his tiring search in the almost darkness.

But Sasuke began to talk.

And he was tired.

It was dark.

Those seemed like three good reasons not to get up.

Naruto would find them. Have faith, Gaara.

"Why are you here, not at... home?" Sasuke asked awkwardly. "I-I mean-"

Gaara wanted to make him suffer, wanted him to feel awkward and uncomfortable, but it was making _him _uncomfortable, so he spoke.

"He's not home. And you might've noticed, it's night, almost morning. So I'm allowed to be out here."

"Allowed if they don't know," Sasuke concluded.

"Then what about you? You have a sibling and two parents. How did you get away?" the redhead sighed. He blinked. And was surprised that his eyes felt heavy. Was he tired? How strange. A moment ago, he'd been energetic. Maybe he was expecting some long, angsty speech from Sasuke and was merely getting comfortable. Well, he'd asked the question, so he had to listen to the answer.

"I-uh, couldn't deal with the family anymore," Sasuke shrugged. "They expect you to feel all happy when you're around family, but it's not something you can force, you know? Families are shit. Worthless."

Gaara looked directly at him, straight in the eye, though the raven wouldn't meet his gaze. He agreed. Partly, anyway. Things like that couldn't be forced. Of course, he knew that, he knew it well. But... Sasuke well, he'd probably had a few good Christmases. No, scratch that, he'd definitely had a lot of good Christmases, with Naruto usually around. A few months ago, Gaara would've agreed with him, for sure. He would've agreed that familes were shit and they couldn't be good for anything. Families weren't happiness, he would've agreed. But... things were really different now. He and Sasuke had changed roles, really.

Gaara actually felt a little guilty for a moment, like he'd stolen Sasuke's life.

But not for the first time, he thought, their role reversal, it wasn't really his fault.

Had Sasuke known what he'd been throwing away, when he'd shoved his real friends away? He'd become so bitter and angry and cold. Similiar to how Gaara had been, how'd he'd felt. But it was much worse for Sasuke, because it was self inflicted. Gaara felt a little sad for him. But... he really didn't know what Sasuke's problem was. He'd had everything, it seemed, to Gaara. He had a great family, a great best friend, people he could talk to and laugh with... but what reason could he possibly have for giving that all up? It wasn't a good reason. There was no good reason. He was ruining his own life. Just thinking about that cold place made Gaara feel it in his gut. Not the outside cold. It was awful out here, but cold you could feel squeezing your heart. It was much worse because you couldn't do anything about it. Well, correction. Gaara could do something about it.

But Sasuke couldn't. He'd always feel that cold, but worse, he'd also feel that horrible anger gnawing on the inside.

A combination of both feelings was extremely unhealthy. It felt... indescribable. He could feel it swelling in his gut.

_Goddamnit. Naruto, where are you? I need you right now, _Gaara sighed.

"They're not so bad if you give them a chance," Gaara told Sasuke. "Don't push them away."

And funny... Naruto had told him more or less the same thing.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't worry, Naruto will be returning. He's just gone... eh, feral? He'll be back. I won't spoil Sasuke's reaction to the sugar high Naruto, but I will tell you this: due to again, nasty writer's block and highschool... updates, unfortunately, will take me much longer than before. I'll do my best... but school's been taking all of my creativity. They keep making us write essays... and writing becomes harder for me. So... yeah, sorry. I can sense my writing going downhill... gah, I'm dropping out of school! Anyone want to join me? <strong>

**Later. **


	30. Some In Depth Sasuke Info

Naruto ran into a tree.

Yeah. He just ran into a tree. No other way to describe it.

He saw it.

As he was hitting it, that is.

The blond's head snapped back and his nose burned. He fell back into the snow on his ass and cussed, rolling.

"Ah! My face," he complained. After he was done with his antics, he sprang up, dusting off snow, though most of it had already melted and soaked his clothing. It knocked some sense into him. He was running... wild in a cold forest... nothing wrong with that except he lost Gaara. Where was Gaara? He'd been right behind him. Well, not exactly behind him. He'd been lagging a lot, but he'd been close enough to see, at least. Naruto spun in circles, trying to glimpse bright red hair. No. Gaara hadn't managed to keep up with him. Not really surprising. Gaara's stamina and endurance running sucked. And keeping up with Naruto on a sugar high was impossible.

Naruto began going back the way he'd come, or at least, in that general direction. Same thing, right?

He called Gaara's name a few times, but the wind was strong and he doubted Gaara could hear him. He wondered if Gaara was chasing him in the wrong direction or just sitting and waiting for him. Was Gaara looking for him or waiting? That was an issue. Naruto knew (Jiraiya repeated it to him constantly) that when you're lost, you should just sit and wait for someone to find you. But Gaara probably thought Naruto was the lost one. So was he waiting? Probably. He was... well, kind of lazy, to be honest. No, lazy wasn't the word, Naruto thought. _If I was in trouble, he'd be there. It's just... he's waiting for me, I'm sure of it. Now is the time to search for where he's waiting. _

Gaara probably hadn't been able to keep up with him farther back. Naruto wondered if Gaara had taken a different direction.

"Fuck!" Naruto screamed. This was so hard!

He decided he was over thinking this.

And he started running back, hoping at least to find the path.

And maybe Gaara waiting for him.

* * *

><p>Gaara looked up abruptly. "Did you hear something?" he asked Sasuke.<p>

"The wind," Sasuke shrugged.

They were both silent.

For a few minutes, they just sat there, neither making eye contact. For Gaara, it was uncomfortable being near the guy who made him so incredibly angry at times, but incredibly sad at other times. It was odd. For Sasuke, it was awkward. Sometimes, he really hated Gaara. And sometimes, like now, he felt close to Gaara. Oh sure, he pitied the redhead and was jealous whenever Naruto got close to him. It was like the blond was teasing him every time they kissed in front of him. It made him so furious inside. At Naruto, at Gaara, at himself. He wasn't gay! That's what he told himself. But... whenever he saw Naruto, he'd feel a flutter in his stomach. Then a sad guilt for hurting him so bad. And then he'd feel bad at himself. Naruto had forgotten him so quickly. He'd gotten over him quickly, replacing him with Gaara.

But could it really be considered replacement if he and Naruto never had a relationship like that?

He wanted a relationship like that with his best friend.

But he didn't.

Every time he saw him, it hurt a little. But every time he saw him, he was reminded of something he didn't want. Something about him he didn't want to admit. No, he wouldn't admit, not out loud, not to himself.

"There's a difference," Gaara spoke quietly. Sasuke didn't hear him too well over the howling wind, but he did look up.

"Between us," Sasuke said.

"Yes. But only because of you. We switched roles, didn't we? We're both different from how we were before. When you left Naruto, he came to me."

"Because he's a disloyal-"

"Because you pushed him away, to me," Gaara said quietly. "But we were friends before you became so hateful and angry. All of us. It's something you can have. Just apologize and dump Suigetsu. He's an asshole."

"I can't," Sasuke said, his fist clenching. The redhead watched him, wondering if they were going to fight any second now.

Gaara didn't bother asking why. He knew Sasuke would explain. And if he didn't... then it was his right.

But Sasuke did answer.

"I can't be friends with him again. I-I wouldn't be satisfied with j-just being friends. I'd-I want-" Sasuke couldn't seem to continue, but Gaara knew where he was going.

For some reason, the redhead didn't feel pissed or jealous at all.

Before he could say something, (not that he knew exactly what he should say), Sasuke was standing up and pacing angrily, kicking snow.

"I don't-I'm not- I don't want to be gay!" Sasuke cussed violently. "Not for the likes of Naruto! I don't want to be gay! And I don't feel gay, not unless Naruto is around! I have to stay away from him! I want to stay away from him! He's an annoying little bitch! But..." now tears were slipping down his skin, but Gaara pretended not to notice them. Sasuke would stop talking if he got embarrassed and Gaara was finally learning what Sasuke's problem really was. "I miss him so much. I hate his guts. But I miss him. How fucked up is that? He's- h's my best friend... and he always was until you came into the picture... now I'm not sure what he is. I hate him, but he's my friend. He's my friend, but something in me wants him to be more. But another part of me wants nothing to do with that. But staying away from him and hating him so badly hurts so much."

Sasuke fell back down against his tree, his black hair covering his face. But Gaara could still see tears falling down his neck. Falling into the snow.

"But what about you, huh? You're gay, but you don't have a fucking problem with that, do you?" Sasuke yelled, suddenly furious. "You're just fine with it! Why? Are you happy to actually have a friend? Are you gay to please him, not because you really are, but because you crave love so badly, so pathetically, you'll pretend to be anything to have it? Or are you just... braver than-than- me? You were always so quiet and empty. I liked that about you. You didn't seem to fit in society like me either. And you didn't want pity for being 'alone'. But when you and Naruto started dating, you changed. I always thought you were weak, depending on him and loving him. I thought you weren't strong enough to stand on your own, so you used Naruto. I'd thought you were strongest when alone. You had so many problems and reasons to hate the world, but you always used to deal with them alone. You always were able to."

Now Sasuke seemed to have finished saying what was on his mind. And Gaara was ready to start.

"I always was able to. But did you ever consider that maybe, I didn't want to, anymore? I didn't want to be alone anymore. I didn't want to deal with things alone and I was tired of hating the world, of living in my own. I was tired and Naruto was so full of energy. He's the opposite of me and you, but that's why he's-why I love him. Because I hate myself and he's my opposite. Because he saved me. In every way a person can be saved, he saved me."

"If he saved you... then how come your father's still around?"

* * *

><p><strong>Yes! Good bye Writer's block. However: <strong>

**My Priorities: **

**1) Updates for Fanfiction/Fictionpress**

**2) Eating/ Drinking**

**3) Watching anime/reading manga**

**4) Sleeping (optional)**

**As low on the list as possible) School**

**Those are my priorities. Unfortunately, it's not my choice. **

**School doesn't have to come first, though.**

**So I'll try to update today or tomorrow. **


	31. Falling Asleep Warm

**Narutosexual! Lol, liking that. **

**Sasuke still being a douche, but you understand why now. So if it seemed kind of random before, now it doesn't! Yippee. **

**And on with my update:**

Gaara couldn't say anything. His mouth dropped as he tried to think of an answer, but he came up blank. Sasuke was right.

But, no, he was also wrong.

The redhead started to answer, to say something, anything, but before he could, he heard a familiar voice.

A voice he wanted to hear and didn't want to hear.

Naruto.

He wanted the blond to be here.

But he didn't want Sasuke to leave yet.

The raven looked at him.

"See you," he said, his voice trembling. "None of this ever happened." Sasuke stood up quickly and jogged away, changing his direction twice uncertainly. The raven didn't know where he was going, but he figured anywhere was better than here. He didn't want to see Naruto. He didn't want to see Gaara's mocking eyes or Gaara's pity or Gaara's reaction at all to his outburst. Why had he spilled so much? To Gaara, of all people? In a way, it was okay, since Gaara was so quiet and wouldn't use it against him. Gaara's mind didn't work like that. He wouldn't tell anyone out of spite. But he might tell Naruto, feeling the blond deserved to know. And Sasuke almost panicked at the thought. Still, if the redhead told Naruto, it would save him the trouble of telling him himself. Still, did he want Naruto to know? He wasn't even sure if he wanted Gaara to know. Still, he knew now. And it felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest.

Naruto wrapped his arms around Gaara's neck.

"Oh my god, you're freezing!" the blond squeaked. "You okay, man? Come on, let's get home, it's cold!"

"Just n-notice that, did you?" Gaara asked. "You go running off l-like that- I'm-I-"

During his conversation with Sasuke, he'd forgotten completely about being cold and his blood seemed to rise the more worked up he got. But now, he was experiencing the cold again. Naruto hugged him tightly. "How are you so warm?" Gaara sighed, taking in his warmth. "It's not fair." "Aw, don't pout, I'll share," the blond giggled, hugging him tighter and putting his chin on Gaara's shoulder. "You know, I saw some yellow snow back there." The redhead pulled away from him and stared at him. "You're so random. And that information was pointless," he said.

Naruto laughed. He put an arm around Gaara's neck.

"Come on, let's go home!"

"Who's home, yours or mine?" Gaara asked. "Wait, did you even tell Jiraiya you were going out? And are you still high or... whatever that was?"

Naruto laughed again and it took him a while to calm down. Gaara did so patiently, just glad Naruto seemed back to normal and that they were finally heading home. He stared at the spot he remembered seeing Sasuke last. He wondered if they'd run into him. Now he saw Sasuke in a different light than before and seeing him would be awkward and uncomfortable. Sasuke... he felt oddly close to the raven now. "I'm still kind of buzzed," Naruto admitted. "But it's all good! Come on, walk faster."

Naruto was almost running as he was walking. It was his usual energy, but Gaara had the feeling sugar was still boosting him. He sighed. Naruto wouldn't be going to sleep or even sitting down for a while.

Looks like he was going to have a rather long night.

* * *

><p>Gaara felt a little bad when he got home and found the door unlocked. Oops. He hoped no one had snuck in and killed his siblings.<p>

Naruto went to his kitchen, looking for food, but he hadn't found any.

"Don't you people ever get hungry at night?" he complained. "Like something I can snack on?"

"Aren't you not supposed to eat in the middle of the night?" Gaara asked.

"No. Where'd you hear that?"

"It keeps you awake longer. You really don't need any more fuel," the redhead answered, following the blond out of his kitchen. Gaara was glad there was no food in his house, for once. Naruto really didn't need fuel. He was still trembling slightly, shifting his weight and tapping his foot, even as he walked. The blond crept up to his room. "Man, it's cold in here!" he complained. "Do you have an air conditioner?"

"You mean a heater?" Gaara said.

"You know what I meant!"

"Yeah, which is why I asked if you meant a heater. And yes, we do, but I guess ours sucks or something." Gaara crouched and touched the air vent under his bed. There was heat coming from it, but not too much. He thought about going downstairs and turning on the thermostat, but something distracted him. The bed above him suddenly creaked as something heavy dropped onto it. He got out from under the bed. "Naruto, you're soaking," he complained at the blond.

"No, I'm just cold," Naruto said, pouting at him. "Want to sleep with me?"

The redhead stared at him.

"I didn't mean like that... I'm cold and I'm lonely," Naruto said. "Get your mind out of the gutter. Get up here."

Gaara snickered. Naruto scooted, his back against the wall, giving the redhead a generous amount of space. But it didn't really matter how much space he gave him, because when he woke up, he and Gaara would be pressed up against each other anyways.

Gaara, inhumanly cold, and Naruto, comfortably warm.

Neither of them slept for a long time.

But for once, Naruto didn't fidget. He hugged himself close to Gaara, shivering at the creepy chill Gaara's skin always had, and just lay there for a while, smiling his usual, happy moronic smile. And Gaara? He did fall asleep. He fell asleep warm and safe in Naruto's arms. Before he did drop off, he thought of Sasuke. Was he warm tonight?

* * *

><p><strong>Updated! Yes! Now normally I don't have to ask, but I need to check something, so I need at least one review. Something weird is happening on my account and I'd appreciate a review to confirm my suspicion. <strong>

**Anyway, that's my problem, not yours. **

**Tomorrow's school, so... yeah, sucks. **

**This chapter was kind of pointless, but... well I couldn't resist some cuddling moments. And some dorky lines that were embarrassing to write. **

**Anyway, I know earlier I said Sasuke meets Naruto in sugar high mode, but things had to change. I had to edit a little and change a few things and postpone a few plot devices. **


	32. Chapter 32

**Okay, back. **

**I got a little confused and almost posted this story on another story of mine, but realized my mistake. So I updated the right story. I'm such a scatterbrain. **

**My scatter brain actually failed a writing essay yesterday, so now I feel like shit. Writing is the only thing I don't fail failtastically at, but I did. So now I'm writing again. Praying it's not as bad as the teacher suggests.**

* * *

><p>Naruto was going to stay all day, but he decided not to interfere with Gaara's family time.<p>

Plus, Jiraiya was probably worried sick.

Mostly, he went back because he was hungry.

As for Gaara, he actually didn't feel too lonely when the blond left. He didn't feel sorrow or loss when Naruto left, just a little disappointment. He still had Kankuro and Temari.

But like all siblings, they could be just as irritating.

They got into another fight, something about who was going to cook breakfast. Temari could burn the house down (Gaara was really cold, so he wouldn't have minded much), but no one was sure how bad Kankuro's cooking could be. Temari argued that since he was a boy, it would suck, but her brother had retorted, saying that since she was a girl, she should be able to cook. Of course, she called him a sexist and he replied that obviously he wasn't, because he didn't want her to do that cooking, which pissed her off greatly. They started debating heatedly which quickly just became insults hurled at each other.

It got a little annoying.

Gaara realized he was hungry.

He could wait, though. Hunger was sharp, but no big deal.

Still. He quickly grew bored. He tried intervening, but they kept bickering.

Was this a siblings' quarrel? And how come he couldn't seem to get involved?

"I'm going to go eat somewhere," Gaara told them.

They didn't look at him.

It wasn't a yes or a no. He could take it whichever way he wanted to. Besides, they weren't his parents. He just didn't want them freaking out and possibly finding him later and embarassing him. No, he just wanted them to know where he was going, because they'd probably be worried if they didn't. He started to go to Naruto's. He wouldn't be missed here. He wondered if the blond would let him eat something other than Ramen-?

"Um-"

Gaara froze. He looked a little uncertainly to his left. The raven walked a little quicker until they were side by side. He didn't say anything.

"Hi... uh, Gaara. I was-uh, actually coming to visit you," Sasuke said a little awkwardly. "Uh, glad I didn't... erm, miss you."

The redhead stared at him. Sasuke was getting good at making things awkward. What the hell was he supposed to say? Glad to see you? It'd be lying. While he was lying, he might as well say he was visiting Suigetsu. Oh and while he was at it, he was going to dye his hair blue. Things were just so umcomfortable with him now. How was Gaara supposed to feel? Jealous? Angry? Sad? Which one? Was it okay to feel all of them? All he knew was that it was confusing. And Sasuke himself acted confusing and had complex emotions that could made him unpredictable a lot.

"I-I have a-a favor to ask," Sasuke murmured. His fist clenched slightly. He gritted his teeth, strode closer to Gaara until they were eye to eye.

There it was. That spark. That glow Gaara had seen before, before Sasuke had changed.

"Can you-will you kiss me?"

* * *

><p><strong>Me: Sorry for the shortness. <strong>

**Sasuke: You should be sorry for the cliffhanger. **

**Me: Yeah, but I'm afraid things are getting boring, so I just had to. Besides, things after this get interesting! **

**Sasuke: Isn't it your job to make the entire story interesting? **

**Me: Go be a jerk somewhere else. **

**Sasuke: Hey, it's true and you know it. **

**Me: (shamed), I'm trying! I'll update tomorrow, I promise. **

**Sasuke: I don't care for that promise. Please just tell me I don't kiss Gaara, I'm not gay. **

**Me: *silent.* **

**Sasuke: I'm going to kill you. **

**Me: *gone***

**See you guys soon, I swear, but right now, I have to run. **


	33. Chapter 33

"Wait! Here me out! It's not what you're thinking!" Sasuke said, ready to make a move to grab the redhead before he could escape. "I'm not making a move, I swear! I just want to test something, okay? It's just an experiment!"

Gaara was close to punching Sasuke senseless. One time. One time he actually felt bad for Sasuke. One time he actually didn't actively hate Sasuke's guts or any other part of him. One time he sort of liked him. Had Sasuke confused his anger earlier for some weird passion? He wasn't attracted to assholes, not secretly or blatantly. That was Naruto's thing. Being nice and loving to people who didn't want it. Gaara didn't feel the same way. "Test what?" he asked coldly. "How fast you can piss me off in the morning?" One frigging time. One slightly tender moment where Sasuke revealed everything to him.

"No. I'm not fucking around with you, I promise. I'm not being an ass," Sasuke said hastily. "Well not intentionally. I just want to, um, well test my-test my sexuality." He said the last word in a rush, but it was an awkward as it would've been if he had drawn the words out. Gaara shook his head. "Kiss Suigetsu if you really want to. I have a boyfriend and I'm not being your test subject." He started to leave, but Sasuke grabbed his arm. He let go quickly, like Gaara's arm was a snake. It was a smart move since Gaara was already pissed off. He probably would've hit him if he'd held on even a second longer.

"Please? You already know. I want to test it on someone who knows."

"If I 'know' then why are you testing? If you know you're gay, then why test it?" Gaara asked icily.

"You know what I mean! If I'm not, then you're the only one who knows I suspected. And I-" Sasuke stopped talking as abruptly as the redhead kissed him.

Gaara didn't kiss him passionately like with Naruto. He kissed him almost mechanically, experimentally as Sasuke had said.

Sasuke was frozen for a moment and didn't respond to the kiss, just standing there in shock.

And all of a sudden, his arms were wrapped around Gaara's back.

Sasuke is an aggressive kisser, Gaara thought. He was fierce and a little bruising...

Then the redhead realized what he was doing.

He shoved the raven away.

"Okay, you know. Now get away from me," he growled.

"Sorry," Sasuke said, his voice very quiet. "I went too far?"

"Yeah." Gaara bit his lip. And winced. Sasuke was a little too enthusiastic. He was definitely gay, with that kind of enthusiasm. Who bites like that while kissing? If his lip starts to swell up, Naruto would ask questions. Damn. His lip had better not swell. Why was Sasuke always so much trouble? Still, he'd initiated their kiss, so it was as much his fault as Sasuke's. He hoped Naruto didn't notice. The blond had a sharp eye for injuries. Sometimes, Naruto wasn't as dumb as he'd like. Shit. What was he going to tell Naruto? They didn't keep secrets. Not anymore. Secrets could be harmful and if only Sasuke knew, then he had something against the redhead, another weapon he could use. Shit.

Oh yeah, and while he was thinking about that...

"Sasuke, you're gay. Are you still going to give me shit?" Gaara asked. "Are you and Naruto going to make up? What happens now?"

The raven backed away from him. He bit his lip and shook his head slightly.

Then he turned and ran away.

Taking time to think, Gaara thought. What happens now?

It was a good question.

Sasuke had some sense into him. So what was he going to do now? Openly embrace homosexuality? Was he going to hide it? Was he going to apologize to Naruto?

Would Naruto accept it?

Gaara knew the answer to the latter.

And it worried him.

Naruto loved Sasuke. He always had, right from the beginning. It had killed him to hate Sasuke and it had killed Sasuke to hate Naruto.

They cared for each other. A lot.

Things were getting very, very complicated.

* * *

><p><strong>For those of you who believed Naruto would walk in on them some how... I got you! No, I don't want to be predictable! The story gets boring if I am! <strong>

**Oh yeah and I know I used the word awkward a lot, but... well... it was kind of... awkward. **


	34. Chapter 34

"What's the deal Gaara?"

They were seated across from each other in a local diner. Naruto had said he wasn't hungry, but he'd still eaten two helpings of pancakes. Gaara had taken every packet of sugar and stuffed his pockets, then told the waitress four times, sternly, no syrup or sugar of any kind. Naruto had pouted a little, but the redhead noticed he still ate every crumb. Now Gaara was watching him eat bacon and eggs like he was starving. He'd eaten breakfast this morning. It was amazing the blond wasn't fat. Gaara would've thought Naruto was hiding it under his baggy orange clothes if he hadn't seen him shirtless before. Actually, maybe it wasn't so amazing. Naruto's energy levels often sky rocketed throughout the day. They'd already paid the check, but Naruto was still wolfing down food and Gaara wondered how long breakfast was normally for the blond.

"What?" Gaara asked, a little grossed out as Naruto spoke to him with his mouth full.

The blond swallowed hard, trying to get everything down before talking again.

"You're really quiet. And not Gaara quiet. I mean like... the old Gaara quiet," the blond commented, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

Gaara didn't look at him. Instead he looked at the bar, to their right. Not many people here in the morning. He noticed the diner seemed to have a retro charm to it, with checkered tiles and bright red or black seats. Black and white pictures of the good old days and cursive writing lights in vibrant colors everywhere. Small jukeboxes at every table, two large ones near the entrance/exit. All in all, he'd never been in a place like this. Retro. What a weird theme. Kind of interesting to look at. Better than looking at Naruto, who'd read the secret in his eyes.

"Gaara? Don't ignore me or I'll scream something loud and embarrassing," Naruto threatened.

Gaara eyed the woman passing. She was looking at the two of them, looking shocked and quickly averted her gaze once he met her eyes. Now that he looked around, a lot of people were throwing him odd glances. What, they'd never seen a gay couple before?

"Gaara! I'm raising my voice!" the blond said loudly. Several people glanced his way, but Gaara couldn't tell if they were looking at him because he was loud or because they were staring at the "gay" couple.

Gaara bit his lip. He put his head in his hands, covering his eyes, pulling at the red strands of hair. Should he tell Naruto? Or should he just keep it to himself and let the secret gnaw at him? He was afraid the blond wouldn't understand. Sometimes Naruto could be so thick and sensitive. If he heard it, he might take it the wrong way immediately. The redhead wasn't sure if Naruto would listen when he tried to explain himself. That settled it. He'd said when, not if. Time to do it. Time to step forward and just say it, blurt it out and wait for the blond's response.

"Naruto-"

"GAARA! I-!" Naruto stopped yelling abruptly as Gaara kicked his shin with bruising force. He stood up and slid into Naruto's booth.

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay? Be more patient, okay? I was just about to tell you and you interrupted me," the redhead hissed. "And now everyone's looking at us."

"Why- fuck that hurt- do you care?" the blond gasped, both hands on his leg.

"Let's talk alone, okay?" Gaara half whispered. "I don't want to say in public and their staring makes me uncomfortable and-"

"It's impolite to stare!" Naruto hollered at the top of his lungs.

He attracted the stares of everyone in the vicinity and the people out of his range of sight looked around for the voice.

"Come on, let's go before you get cold feet and don't tell me your secret," Naruto grinned. He pushed Gaara's leg. "Come on, get moving!"

The redhead moved unwillingly and waited, uncomfortably aware of the eyes on him, and then on his back as he and his boyfriend walked out. And a little more than extremely self conscious about the blond's arm around his waist. He kept both hands firmly in his pocket and both eyes on the door.

When they were finally out of the diner, Gaara let out a sigh. He hated attention and Naruto seemed to thrive of it. The blond was giggling and tugging him closer to him. "Their faces were hilarious!" he cackled. "Did you see them?"

"Yes. And I am mortified," the redhead murmured.

"Ahh," Naruto cooed, ruffling his hair. The redhead glared at him, but the blond just laughed. "Is Gaara crawling back into the closet?"

"It wasn't that, you moron. I just don't like all those people staring. I don't care why, I just feel self conscious, you know?"

Naruto nodded, an incredibly stupid look on his face. "Hey, where's the-hey wait a moment! What's your secret? What's the big deal? You've been really down this morning-"

"You are so pushy and obnoxious," Gaara grumbled. "I would've told you. Why would you scream like that? I was going to tell you."

"I'd say I was sorry, but I'm really not," the blond said. "What's up? Seriously. I'm sorry for embarrassing you, but it's not like you know any of those people and-"

"Naruto, I need you to be quiet," the redhead interrupted. "I have something to tell you and I need you to hear me out before you make any rash assumptions and get too emotional."

They both stopped walking. The bus stop was still half mile away, but Naruto sensed a certain guilty seriousness coming from his boyfriend and that made him a little nervous.

"I kissed Sasuke."

Gaara blurted it out tactlessly and closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip and waiting for Naruto's reaction.

* * *

><p><strong>Nasty cliff, I know. Or at least, I hope so, unless this is getting too predictable and boring. Sorry if this chapter seems way too cliched. But I need Naruto know know so my plot devices have some solid standings in the future. So sorry for predictability. <strong>

**It's impolite to stare. If a weird kid has ever said that to you in the restaurant, it's probably me. When people stare at me or whoever's with me, I always tell my friend "isn't it impolite to stare?" in a loud obnoxious voice. A stage whisper, heh heh. **


	35. Chapter 35

"Wha-?"

Naruto's eyes were wide. Was Gaara joking? It was a mean joke. Surely it was a joke.

No, his eyes were too serious. Gaara wasn't that cruel.

"I-wha- what are you talking about? When?" Naruto asked, ashamed as his voice cracked.

"This morning," Gaara murmured. He let out a breath. The cat was out of the bag now. He didn't have to feel like he was hiding something or that he'd kept anything from Naruto. He didn't like keeping secrets from Naruto. And Naruto was a good secret digger. Well not good, but persistent and that always worked for him.

"Wha-? Why?" Naruto asked. Gaara hated that the blond was no longer touching him and standing a foot away from him, blue eyes blazing with an emotion he couldn't read. And that really worried him.

"I-he asked me- I just-" suddenly Gaara's mind was scattered. What was he going to say? He hadn't planned on what to say. He should've planned on what to say.

"He asked and you accepted? Why?"

But, no, he didn't have to plan. Talking to Naruto was easy and comfortable. He should just tell him what had happened.

"Listen, you know when you went sugar crazy and made me run after you in the woods?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Naruto exclaimed loudly. "When did you and Sasuke get chummy? Why would you want to kiss him in the first place? When-?"

"Naruto! I told you to let me finish!"

Naruto fell silent almost immediately. Gaara didn't yell much and when he did, it definitely affected the loud mouth blond.

The redhead sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in deeply.

"He and I met in the woods while I was trying to find you-" Gaara explained what Sasuke had said. He didn't pause to consider how the raven might feel about spilling it to the blond. He figured Naruto, being Sasuke's best friend, deserved to know and that the raven wouldn't tell him. He figured the raven might be relieved later. And if he wasn't... well Gaara needed Sasuke to get him out of trouble. Still, the redhead couldn't help but feel worried as he told the blond. What if Naruto forgived Sasuke and Sasuke decided to open embrace his sexuality?

The blurry future worried him.

Naruto grabbed both his shoulders and shook him.

"Why? Why would you let him? Why wouldn't you tell him to fuck off and just- let him do it with Suigetsu instead? Why would you-?"

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I'm really, really sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted him to- I didn't want him to test it on anyone else, because that would've embarrassed him-"

"Good!"

"-And he'd be put off from it completely. By kissing me instead of someone who might spread a nasty rumor, he's more comfortable with his sexual orientation because he has time to get accustomed to the idea before embracing it. If he does. I don't know how he'll be when school starts again, I just know he's... different and he won't give us so much shit about being gay! I'm sorry I cheated on you! It was just a kiss and I swear it didn't mean anything! He's an asshole! Always was, always will be. I love you Naruto, I swear it didn't mean anything."

Naruto turned away from him. He ran a hand through his blond hair and sighed. Gaara watched him anxiously. He wanted Naruto to say something. Anything. He wanted to apologize, over and over and over again, but he knew that there'd be no point if he did. Repetition wasn't near as meaningful as a sorry from the heart and he was sorry, with his heart. He was sure Naruto knew this. Didn't he? The blond could be awfully moronic, but he could be perceptive. And Naruto normally wasn't the kind to hold grudges. Then again, he'd been holding a grudge against Sasuke for awhile now... but no, that was different.

"You- you- I- I wish you'd have told me sooner-"

"It was two hours ago. I wanted to wait until you were well fed," Gaara said.

A grin started to form on the blond's face, but he forced it down. Gaara had seen it though.

"Listen, it will never happen again. I didn't like kissing him and I feel so bad about it. I just thought that maybe if I proved to him that he is gay, then maybe your guyses problems will be resolved."

"That's sweet," Naruto said and Gaara wasn't sure if he was sarcastic or meant it. "But leave our problem solving to us, okay?"

He took three paces to the left, then took three paces to the right, then took another few paces back towards Gaara.

"He's not a better kisser than I am, is he?"

Gaara smiled.

"I don't know. I'll have to test it now," the redhead grinned. The blond needed no extra invitation. Eagerly, he kissed the redhead, not caring as several people stared at them or eyed them out of the corner of their eyes before walking quickly. He did pull away though (to Gaara's disappointment) when someone rolled down the car window and shrieked, "faggot," at them. He whipped around, eyes burning and hollered something profane and vulgar and physically impossible. He kept a constant stream of cussing after the car, even after it got out of earshot and vision range.

When he was out of breath, he turned back to Gaara.

"Am I forgiven?" the redhead asked.

"You'll never do it again, consider doing it again, or even look at Sasuke with anything besides hatred?"

Gaara nodded.

"And I'm a better kisser?"

Gaara nodded, smiling.

"Sasuke had better be less of an asshole when school starts again or you kissed him for nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>Sasuke: Am I still an ass in your story?<strong>

**Me: You're always an ass in my story. How much of one depends. On namely, me. **


	36. Chapter 36

Art Class. No Sasuke.

Gaara sighed. He looked up as Deidara passed, but only briefly before returning his work.

Where was he?

He hadn't been at school for almost a week.

What was he avoiding? If he didn't want to tell anyone, then that was fine, but Gaara really wanted to hear him apologize. Though it would mean sharing Naruto. Speaking of Naruto, the blond was awfully glad he was gone and proclaimed good riddance. He said the raven was too much of a pussy to show up.

Well Gaara wasn't too sure of the last one.

* * *

><p>Sasuke blew his nose, loudly and rather disgusting sounding, like a bird hacking up something it had swallowed earlier.<p>

Gross, Sasuke thought, his head throbbing. He squeezed his eyes shut, but bright balls of light appeared before his eyelids and they pulsed, making his head throb even more. He groaned and shifted onto his side. He sneezed violently, covering each time, and feeling more than a little disgusted. This was gross. He'd rather be at school than sick... wait, what was he saying? There was no way he'd rather be at school. No matter how miserable he was here, there was no way he wanted to go to school and see Gaara. And even worse... Naruto.

The name hurt.

But he could just imagine how much it hurt the blond.

For a moment, he took a guilty satisfaction from Naruto's pain. If Naruto was hurting, then he must've cared about him a lot... if only he'd acknowledged that earlier. Then he wouldn't be in this mess. Well, he'd still be sick, but he wouldn't be enjoying it so much. He coughed violently. Okay, not enjoying. He wouldn't be dreading school as much and he wouldn't have to apologize to Naruto. That would be embarrassing. Would Naruto be a weirdo about it? Would he start crying or start screaming? Would he be pissed and not even accept his apology?

Sasuke sighed.

Then winced as pain spiked his skull.

His temple was throbbing.

He could almost feel his heartbeat. He buried his head in his pillow, trying to fall asleep and maybe wake up feeling better.

The door swung open with a bang.

"Hey sunshine!" Itachi called cheerfully. "It's lunch time!"

"Itachi?" Sasuke groaned. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"Hehehehe. That's funny, Sasuke. You're funny. I don't have to go to school. I could go to college right now if I wanted," Itachi snorted. "Being a genius allows for laziness. Besides, I couldn't leave my poor little brother to suffer silently at home. I figured it'd make you even more emo, so I stayed to cheer you up." "Oh really?" Sasuke groaned, sitting up and instantly regretting it. All his blood seemed to rush to his head. "How do Mom and Dad feel about it?"

"They don't control me anymore. They know if I left highschool right now, I'd be perfectly applicable for college. Missing a week or two now and then doesn't really do anything to my 'shining future.' My GPA is off the charts. Three or four colleges offered me early scholarships-" Itachi stopped talking as a pillow smacked into his face. Sasuke had hit him with all his might. At the moment, most of his "might" was in sitting up and trying to look dignified, so you can imagine how light the hit had been. "I don't care about your achievements. Do you like the sound of your own voice? I know I don't. Go call Mom or Dad if you want to prattle to someone."

"Sounds like someone's jealous," Itachi smirked.

Sasuke threw a vulgar and profane tirade at him, all sickness seeming to leave, his eyes burning with a new energy, though his voice was croaky and coughed as he swore.

Itachi was delighted.

Not at his brother's potty mouth.

At his brother's sudden change in character.

He seemed more like the old Sasuke every day.

Maybe being sick had something to do with it.

"Hey Sasuke?" Itachi said, cutting through Sasuke mid-cuss.

"What?" the raven asked, irritated that he hadn't been able to finish.

"How'd you get sick?"

"What? I got a cold, dumbass. Everyone gets colds during the winter."

"Yeah, but I remember you coming home at God knows what time on Christmas night. You were freezing and crashed on the couch. That's when you got sick, remember? You started shivering. It was pathetic to look at. That's why I carried you to bed and you stayed in said bed for almost a week. So where were you all night? Partying with delinquent and trashy friends like whatever that kid's name. The slimy one?"

"Suigetsu?" Sasuke asked dully.

"I don't know, you've been hanging with a lot of trashy people lately. So what's the deal? You come home, get sick and suddenly you don't hate everyone anymore? Was getting sick really enough for you to stop being a bastard. Well, not stop, but be less of one? Is it really that easy?" Itachi asked.

Almost immediately, Sasuke paled.

Not that it was too noticeable, with his already pale, sickly skin.

Itachi's eyes were sharp, however, and he noticed this color change. Time to go in for the kill.

"So what happened? Did Naruto-?"

Just the mention of the name made Sasuke feel talkative all of a sudden.

Well. He had to tell someone. Might as well be his brother.

Sasuke spilled.

This time, Itachi didn't interrupt.

He listened intently.

Once Sasuke was done, he let the raven catch his breath, then lean back until his head hit the pillow, groaning.

The eldest brother just stared at him for a moment.

Then his face split into a grin.

"That's why you've been being such an emo bitch to everyone? What the hell, Sasuke? I thought I raised you better."

Another pillow flew at his face. He caught it and bopped Sasuke over the head with it.

"Come on, you don't have a problem with other people, like me, being gay, but the moment you are, you hate all gays? Hypocrite."

"I never said I hated-"

"Yeah, but you were acting pretty well. And actions speak louder than words."

Actions speak louder than words.

Itachi grinned.

He could tell Sasuke had an idea.

And it was all because of him.

Yes! Genius strikes again!

* * *

><p>Gaara started slightly as someone sat next to him.<p>

Sasuke was finally coming to school.

About time.

"You're late," Gaara spoke.

"I was sick."

"Oh sure," the redhead said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

><p>Art class passed and they barely spoke to each other. Gaara wasn't sure how Sasuke was feeling and the raven didn't know anymore than he did.<p>

Both of them were uncomfortable, but not tense.

Gaara had wanted to see him.

But now that he was, he couldn't think of what to say.

Sasuke was the one who should've been saying something. Gaara kept waiting for him to say something, to apologize or something.

But he didn't know that Sasuke didn't want to say something.

Because actions spoke louder than words.

The raven silently followed the redhead to his locker.

Not at all surprised as Naruto came around the corner.

The blond halted, almost falling back from the abrupt stop. He glared at Sasuke.

"Oh, so he showed up?" Naruto growled at Gaara, who held his hands up and backed up. He was staying out of this one.

Sasuke didn't hesitate. He knew if he did, then he wouldn't have the nerve to do what he was about to do next.

He blinked and gritted his teeth.

For better or for worse, he lunged forward and yanked Naruto into a fierce hug.

He spoke directly into Naruto's ear:

"I'm sorry."

Then he waited to get hit. It would've only been fair.


	37. Nobody's Home

Gaara just nodded his head, a little apprehensively.

He was watching Sasuke's face.

It was rather amusing.

Clenched and tense.

Probably waiting for the blond to shove him away and beat the shit out of him.

That made two of them.

For a moment, they were all frozen.

Naruto was frozen. Sasuke was tense, but refusing to let go until the blond did or said something.

Brave.

The warning bell rang and most kids scurried off to class, not without a few glances at Sasuke and Naruto.

Gaara didn't move. He wanted to wait this out. Screw class.

Something distracted him, though.

Something white haired and slimy and somewhat of a rapist.

He could hear the albino yelling something as he ran through the halls, scattering kids all on their way to class.

And the redhead knew he was looking for Sasuke.

Shit. Now was not the time. Now was not the time for Suigetsu Hozuki.

Gaara didn't think. He lunged around the corner and tackled the white haired boy, swinging his fist out and catching Suigetsu in a fierce clothesline hit. Taking a great deal of satisfaction out of the boy's surprised gasp and instant fall to the ground with a thud. What a stupid thing to do, Gaara realized later. But totally worth it. He wanted Sasuke and Naruto to have alone time. He wanted them to have a sensitive moment where maybe they both cried and hugged and made up. Gaara tackled Suigetsu, knocking him to the ground and shoving him down hard. Suigetsu cussed at him, flailing and punching his gut, then his face. The redhead gritted his teeth, but refused to let go, digging his own fists into the boy's gut and covering the kid's mouth to keep him quiet, or at least muffled. No way was he going to let Suigetsu ruin a moment, whether it was good or bad. Their moment would be progressive, if not in the direction he was hoping. He cussed as Suigetsu bit him.

Naruto shook for a moment. Sasuke couldn't tell if he was crying or if he was trembling with some other strong emotion.

The next action told him exactly what.

Then he shoved Sasuke away.

He lunged forward and his fist snapped out with all of his force and power. Sasuke became limp, knowing it wouldn't hurt as much as it would if he was tense. It didn't hurt as much, but the downside: he careened smack into a locker with all the force Naruto exerted. He groaned as stars burst into his skull and his head began to throb. This wasn't fair. He'd been sick recently and his head had just stopped hurting. He closed his eyes and leaned against the slightly dented metal, taking a deep breath. He dared open his eyes.

The blond stared at him, blue eyes wide.

This had to be first time Sasuke couldn't read his emotions through his eyes.

They were blocked from him. Filled with an emotion he couldn't name. Naruto, a closed book. For the first time.

And it made the raven sad. He bit his lip and stared back. He didn't move, just waiting. There was nothing more he could say or do, just wait.

As Naruto opened his mouth, maybe to cuss, maybe to scream, maybe to forgive him, they both heard a loud bang and then a teacher yelling. Both of them looked to the right. And Naruto ran off as he heard Gaara's pained yelp and Suigetsu's dirty mouth as he swore. Sasuke sighed. What now? Suigetsu was such a pain. But what was going on? What was Gaara's deal? Had he started the fight? Had Suigetsu started it? Whoever started it was definitely ruining the moment. Sasuke would have to set Suigetsu straight and end their "friendship." If it could be called that.

Sasuke sighed and got up to go investigate with Naruto. Since there was no point in just sitting here and doing nothing.

Gaara yelped as Suigetsu elbowed his gut. He snarled and kicked approximately where the boy's lungs would be. Suigetsu let out a long stream of curses, a near constant flow of dirty words, rolling off him, gripping his chest as he attempted breathing in properly. Damnit. Gaara didn't want him to make noise. It was distracting. Any moment, Naruto would come barreling around that corner.

Damnit, he was here already.

But before Gaara could get up, Suigetsu flung himself onto Gaara, attempting to straddle him. The redhead leaned back and kicked him with both feet, square in the chest and sending him reeling back.

"Hey! Break it up!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

The redhead lunged at Suigetsu, seeing red, but Naruto grabbed his shoulders and gently pulled him back, restraining him firmly.

Gaara struggled for a moment, but Naruto's arms comforted him and he sighed.

He flinched in alarm as a hand touched his shoulder.

And looked up.

"Hey," Kakashi smiled. "Nice job. That was a great hit there at the end-"

Several teachers were looking out their doors and a few hurried over.

It took three teachers to restrain Suigetsu, who was spilling profanities like a waterfall.

And one teacher to send the four of them, including Sasuke who, for once hadn't been fighting and had arrived at the last second, to the principal.

* * *

><p>Apparently it was a good day to get in trouble. Naruto and Sasuke were sent to Tsunade for the usual no-fighting lecture. A lot of kids were there, so the groups of kids had to be split to get their meetings done quicker. Half of them went to Shizune, the vice principal, and the other half went to Tsunade.<p>

Sasuke zoned out completely for the principal's lecture. He heard it too much to be interested. Instead, he spent the time staring at the desk, trying to keep himself from looking at Naruto. It was hard. He was so tempted. Naruto was being uncharacteristically quiet and it made him nervous. Was the blond still angry? Would he hit him later? And what would he do if Naruto forgave him? What should he do? Hug him again? Or would that be too uncomfortable and/or inappropriate?

They both went back outside to sit on the chairs with five other kids. Naruto sat next to Sasuke, but the raven didn't find this encouraging, seeing as how every seat was taken by a grumpy looking teenager. Naruto didn't look at him. Sasuke didn't look at him either. Neither was sure how things were between them. Not until Naruto, tired of being quiet, decided to break the silence. Well, not the silence. Kids were chattering and cussing each other out all around them. Naruto meant the silence between the two of them, the unnatural silence that just felt so wrong. Yeah. Naruto was so tired of this silence. It didn't feel right. And he didn't want to admit it, but he really did miss Sasuke.

He got out of his seat, but again, before he could speak, an adult interrupted him.

"Okay brats! You're free to go to your third period period! Oh wait no, fourth period," the woman said, checking the clock. Most of the students were out in a flash.

Naruto and Sasuke included.

They both walked out quickly, but neither were going to their fourth period.

They stopped at Naruto's locker.

And the blond hugged the raven, a goofy Naruto smile on his face. He chuckled, his throat vibrating against Sasuke's neck as he breathed, "you're forgiven, you bastard."

And Sasuke hugged him back as hard as he was able.

Yes. Forgiveness.

It lightened the burden, in both of them.

* * *

><p>Shizune tried to quiet the two of them down. Suigetsu and Gaara were really going at it, probably yelling loud enough to be heard outside the office. She sighed, gripping her hair in her hands. She hated meetings like this. Lecturing children was time consuming and pointless. And they'd always, always do it again. Children would be children. They'd get into quick and furious rages urged onn by hormones all the time, no matter how often they were lectured. They got the message from the first meeting. The message always went out their heads the moment another teen sticks his tongue out.<p>

"And this nut job attacks me-"

"Suck it up, you slimy bastard-"

"He hits me for fun-"

"Yeah, and I took a lot of pleasure out of it-"

"For no reason at all, no provocation-"

"Ooh, a four syllabled word, bet this is your first time-"

"You little cunt sucking faggot-"

"Hozuki!"

"No witty comebacks, then?"

"Fuck you, you-"

"OKAY, THAT'S IT! I'm calling your parents, right now!"

Gaara's eyes widened, but he relaxed almost immediately.

"No one's home at my house," he shrugged.

"No one gives a fuck at my house," Suigetsu shrugged.

"We'll see!" Shizune shouted, wanting to wipe what she considered smug grins off their faces.

She dialed the first name her eyes landed on in the student directory.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered, yawning. "Who's this? Make it quick, I just switched Time zones."

"Hello sir, sorry to bother you, this is Shizune and I'm the vice principal of your son, Mister-" she checked the name. "Sabaku?"

Gaara's eyes widened.

Shizune noticed this.

"I guess someone's home after all, huh?"

* * *

><p><strong>I don't think Shizune has two names, so she's just Shizune. <strong>

**Ooh, and suspense. I hope, that is. **

**It's reaching the climax of my trilogy. **

**I'm a little sad. But it's been a fun ride for me. **

**And I'd like to thank all of you for reviewing and reading this far and giving me such positive feedback. **

**I don't know if I already said I don't own Naruto, but I don't own Naruto. Damn, I always forget. I'm going to get sued. **


	38. Chapter 38

Sasuke watched Naruto as he babbled away, telling him everything that had happened since they'd last talked. He had quite a lot to tell. Sasuke just nodded, ignoring his words and watching his mouth. More than anything, he wanted to kiss Naruto, but the blond was taken. He felt a flash of resentment, but he wasn't sure if it was aimed at himself, at Naruto or Gaara. The latter would be more logical, certainly, but no, the redhead was his friend. He wasn't the friendliest guy, but if he was, Sasuke would hate him. He was jealous, but it was his own fault. And thanks to Gaara, his mistake was repaired.

And he felt happier than he'd ever felt before.

"Oh yeah and where's Gaara?" Naruto said, panting and almost out of breath. "Did he get canned for fighting too?"

"Yeah, he and Suigetsu," Sasukle replied, glad Naruto had given him some of the air. The blond had been hogging it for almost ten minutes with no lapses. "They were really going at it, so they're probably in a lot of trouble."

"Yeah, Gaara beat the shit out of Suigetsu, right?" Naruto giggled. "Still, it sucks he's in trouble. But he'll get out soon enough! Believe it! Come on, let's ditch fourth period!"

He grabbed Sasuke's arm and yanked him around a corner, ignoring the raven's pained gasp as his hand slammed against the corner of a locker.

* * *

><p>Gaara stared at Shizune.<p>

This couldn't be happening.

He began trembling, ever so slightly. His hand curled and dug into his knee.

This couldn't be happening.

His breathing grew erratic until he'd stopped breathing altogether, his eyes on her.

"Your son is in the vice principal's office for fighting."

Shizune paused, listening to his response.

No. This couldn't be happening. Shizune was lying. She was talking to Suigetsu's dad or to no one at all. She was lying. She just wanted to, immaturely he might add, to shut them up, to make a point.

"No, not Kankuro, Gaara."

No, he could almost hear that hated voice, that awful voice, the demon of his childhood, the monster that lurked at the edge of his nightmares, just waiting to take him again.

He'd been stuck in a fairy tale. No, he'd beeen stuck in reality, believing that he could actually live and thrive if he had Naruto, that anything was possible, that life could be wonderful and happy, or some sembleance of it, because of one person.

But his nightmare had come back.

And it was only a matter of time before he was consumed once again.

Fear gripped his chest, a terrible fear, an awful anxiety that chilled him to the core until he was trembling harder. All anger, all annoyance, all irritation faded until they seemed like distant dreams he'd had once.

"Yes, sir. No, there's no- yes, sir, I understand. I just wanted you to be aware. What? No, but he's looking dangerously close to a suspension... yes, for starting fights."

No, he couldn't break down, he couldn't! But the problem was exactly that. He couldn't. His fear was swallowing him whole. All of his worries, the ones he'd shoved away on Christmas, had been locked in his mind. He'd been thinking of Naruto, then Sasuke. He hadn't been thinking of himself. He hadn't had time to prepare himself. And now... something seemed to be snapping and biting at his gut, sharp stings and jabs. But what really scared him, was just how hard this was affecting him. Just knowing the man was home sent his heart racing, his lungs suddenly incapable of doing their duty, his eyes wide and his face pained.

"This is his last warning, Mr. Sabaku. What? I-yes sir," she said, suddenly meek.

Gaara tried to control his breathing, tried to keep the emotion out of his face and posture, trying to make himself relax. But how could he, when that voice was so close-?

"Right, sir. Of course. Yes, do you need the school phone number? No? Okay... okay, bye now, you have a good day now, sir."

* * *

><p>"Where's Gaara?" Sasuke wondered.<p>

"Yeah, I've been wondering that too," Naruto said, face furrowed in contemplation. He threw the tennis ball at the wall. It rebounded back and he hit it with his tennis racket. It bounced off the wall again and Sasuke darted forward and hit it back. They did this several times before Naruto spoke again. "It's been way too long," he said. "Suigetsu's here. Where's Gaara?" Sasuke shrugged. Then cursed as Naruto's overenthusiastic swing almost killed him. Due to quick reflexes, he was able to dodge by a hairbreadth. "What the hell? What are you, a windmill?"

"Don't stand so close," Naruto said. "Maybe we should go look for him?"

"He's a big boy," Sasuke snorted. "He's fine. Shizune's just chewing him out for this being his one hundreth offense. I wonder if he'll be suspended?"

"Aw, that'd suck," the blond grumbled. "Oh wait, no, me and him could hang out. I could get suspended if I punched Suigetsu over there. He's asking for it, seriously, look at him. What did you see in that guy?"

Sasuke bit his lip.

Geez, Naruto was so forgiving. Most people wouldn't let things go as quickly as him. They'd be cold and distant before eventually warming up again. But things would've never been the same. The "trust" and "comfort" would always be mended, never healed. Things weren't supposed to be comfortable and easy without a hint of resentment. Not for the first time or the last time, Sasuke wondered just how dim Naruto was. Shouldn't he be more pissed? Shouldn't he have beat him up a little or used a few scathing, nasty insults, to make up for his unprovoked betrayal? Didn't Naruto know how these things worked?

Why was he complaining? He was getting off easy. He should be glad there wasn't too much awkward drama between them. It was nice going right back to where they'd left off. But still, a part of him wished Naruto would be angrier. He deserved it and his punishment should match his crime. A part of him wished things wouldn't go right back to the way things were, right where they'd ended. A part of him, wanted more than how it had been. A part of him that writhed with guilt at the thought of Gaara. His friend... and greatest obstacle... no, he couldn't think of it like that. Gaara was his friend. And it wasn't Gaara's fault Sasuke hadn't had the nerve to come out of the closet. In fact, it was because of Gaara.

He shouldn't be thinking of Naruto like that. He shouldn't. He couldn't. He wouldn't. It would hurt too many people. It could ruin something he'd just recently fixed. And something he'd just established.

* * *

><p>Irritated, Kankuro thrummed a pencil against his desk. Then his calculator, then his folder. So boring. He really hated Algebra 2. It was true awfulness. He thought he hated Geometry, but Algebra 2? Hell of a lot worse. And the teacher was incompetent. Clearly wet behind the ears. Why did he have to have an inexperienced teacher teaching him the year where Math mattered the most? He had his SAT's next year. He had to learn this shit properly or-<p>

Someone knocked on the door.

Their teacher looked away from the problem he'd written and had been in the process of solving on the board. He frowned at the door and went to open it. From his position, Kankuro couldn't see who it was, but he didn't really care. Now how the hell was he supposed to solve this? Numbers and letters and ahh, this crap was really making his head throb. He wished it was lunch time...

"Can Kankuro be excused?"

No...frigging...way.

Gaara?

* * *

><p><strong>What's up? So I hate Math. I hate English. And I love history. <strong>

**Yup. There's my randomness. **

**It should also be noted that I have a lot of homework from the subjects I love and the subjects I hate. Therefore updating shall resume... tomorrow. And possibly after that, if my school gets a gas leak or hit by a tornado or the electricity goes out. Fingers crossed. **


	39. Familiar

"Um, why are you here, kid?"

"Can Kankuro be excused?"

"Kankuro? Why?"

Kankuro, his work and thoughts of lunch having left his mind completely, now tried to get a glimpse of... who surely couldn't be Gaara. But it had to be Gaara, there was no mistaking that rough and scratchy voice. But something... something was off about that voice. It sounded... different. Kankuro couldn't explain it, but he had the feeling something was wrong. Very wrong. Gaara's tone was blank and there was no indication of something bad happening. Maybe that was why he was now uneasy. The redhead sounded so... apathetic. It was kind of worrisome. Gaara hadn't sounded so withdrawn for a long time.

Unfortunately, his position didn't allow him even a glimpse of red hair, just the teacher, who had an annoyed look.

"Listen, if you don't have a valid reason to disrupt my class, I suggest you leave-"

"Sir, it is important and I have a pass, okay?"

There was a pause. The teacher grimaced as if tasting something bad as he glanced at the slip of paper in his hands. "Who signed this? Kakashi Hatake? The counselor? What's the problem?"

"Sir, it's none of your business why, but Mr. Hatake wants to talk to him."

Kankuro flushed as everyone within hearing distance stared at him. What did the guidance counselor want with him?

"Don't you need a pass for that? Not a pass for yourself, but a pass for Kankuro?"

"He forgot. He can get a pass after meeting with Kaka- Mr. Hatake."

The teacher still looked unwilling. He stared at Gaara with a no nonsense look, a don't-mess-with-me-I'm-your-superior look. Kankuro hated that look, even when he wasn't on the receiving end. Then his mind went back to the guidance counselor. What was the deal with that shit-?

"Kankuro, leave your things here. He will be back, won't he?" his teacher asked sternly.

Gaara didn't respond, not verbally, but judging by the teacher's irked scowl, Kankuro guessed he'd shrugged.

"Fine. Go on Kankuro."

Glad to have a reason to get out of math, but a little apprehensive, Kankuro hastily stood up. His fellow classmates stared at him as he walked by, but he tried to ignore them. He was going to get a lot of crap for this later. Speaking of which... what was going on?

Kankuro walked out the door, joining Gaara in the hallway.

"Gaara, what's- why are- what does the guidance counselor want with me, do you know?" Kankuro asked his brother. Gaara turned quickly.

His face was blank as he spoke, voice steady," don't be such a fool. The counselor doesn't want anything with you. I was just with him and used this pass as an excuse to get you out of class. Now get Temari and meet me in the auditorium."

"But-?"

"Don't argue, this is important, Kankuro. Be quick."

With that, the youngest sibling walked away, leaving Kankuro to gape at him with confusion.

* * *

><p><em>"Gaara, why don't we talk in my office?"<em>

_The redhead stiffened. Not now. He didn't want to talk to his counselor. Not when his world was crashing around him. Any second he was going to go insane. He didn't want to be around Kakashi when he had his big break down. _

_But still, a hand came down on his shoulder. He flinched._

_Something that Gaara hadn't done in a long time. _

_Something his guidance counselor did notice. _

_"Come on, buddy," he said. "Let's go." _

_The redhead let himself be lead to Kakashi's office. Feeling the same way he had the first time he'd had to sit in here alone with Kakashi. _

_And right now, he didn't feel like anything had changed. _

_"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked. "And don't tell me nothing. I hear that all the time." _

_Gaara didn't feel like answering. He didn't feel like talking or keeping up with Kakashi's mind reading questions and games. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think. _

_"Gaara, are you going to answer me at all? Seriously, it's-" _

_"Shut up," Gaara said quietly. "Just shut up. I'm tired of doing this with you. I'm so tired." _

_Wow. Kakashi wasn't ready for that. He squinted at the redhead. "Um, Gaara, what's wrong, kid?" Maybe he was being too snarky. The kid looked really upset. Maybe he should be serious, a pillar of strength Gaara could cling to. That was something he could do, wasn't it? Maybe he should find out what was wrong before rubbing the kid the wrong way and shut him up. "Did Shizune chew you out? She's kind of impatient, but she's harmless." _

_"She called my house." _

_The man stared at the teenager for a moment, saying nothing, just watching and observing. The redhead's head was bowed. He was hiding his eyes. _

_Kakashi dared do something he never would've dared do the first day. He bent down and touched Gaara's cheek, gently pulling the redhead's face up with his index finger, towards the light for him to see. _

_"He answered, didn't he?" _

_The pain in Gaara's eyes confirmed it._

* * *

><p>Kankuro bit his lip. He knew Temari's fifth period was gym. But he definitely didn't want to poke his head into the senior gym. It was a scary place for a junior. Or anyone besides a senior. But how else was he supposed to get Temari? He had to do it. It was important. It was important if Gaara personally came to his classroom to tell him. If it couldn't wait 'till the end of the day, then he couldn't wait any longer to get his sister. He glanced inside again.<p>

The girls were lined up on one side while the guys were lined up on the other. There were twelve balls in the center of the gym, divided into six balls, each one varrying from a baseball to a basketball. The young perky blond gym teacher wearing really short shorts and a tight white T-shirt, yelled, "twenty three, fourteen, seventeen, six, twelve and nine!"

Six people from both sides ran to the center, grabbing one of the balls and running to the basketball hoops.

But Kankuro wasn't really paying attention. He ran to the other set of the doors, the doors nearest the girls' side.

Damnit. Temari was number fourteen and was currently running to a basketball hoop. She threw her football. For a moment, Kankuro was distracted. Wow, good throw. It wasn't easy to throw a football into a basketball net. And get it in, first try, with only seconds to aim and fire. Nice. then his mind kicked in. He stared desperately at Temari. She caught the football and put it back into its place before trotting back to her place. Fourteen. She was fourteen people away from him. Damnit.

"Psst! Psst!" Kankuro hissed, trying to get her attention.

Unfortunately, he caught the attention of another girl.

"Um, do you need something, little boy?" she asked.

Kankuro glared at her, no longer nervous, but pissed. Who was this girl to call him little? He was taller than her. Stupid patronizing voice.

"Get Temari for me, will you?"

"Temari? She's kind of busy," the girl said.

"No she isn't! You're playing a game! Just get her, will you?" Kankuro hissed.

"Oooh, someone's touchy! What, she your girlfriend?" the senior girl asked.

"She's my sister, sickwad! Just get her, please? It's important! I need her!"

That seemed to shake that frustratingly superior look off her face. She actually looked regretful for a moment. The look passed though.

"Yeah, okay, Mr. Desperate," she said, less scorn in her voice than before. She went over to his sister and poked her, saying something loudly. Not loud enough to hear over the noise as kids on either side of the gym cheered their teammates on. Or just talked to their friends.

Temari glanced at the doorway. She glanced at her gym teacher, but the woman wasn't looking at anyone in particular. She was peppy and jumping up and down. In her tight, tight white transparent shirt. Attracting several appreciate, perverted glances.

Temari doubted the woman would notice if she went. She probably wouldn't call her number, fourteen again and she wouldn't have to play the game anymore.

She darted over to the door Carly had said her brother had been hiding behind. She stuck her head out. "Kanku-?"

Two hands grabbed her shoulders and yanked her through the door.

* * *

><p><em>Gaara pulled his face away from Kakashi. He kept his gaze on his knees. <em>

_Understandable._

_Kakashi sighed. _

_Damn, damn, damn._

_"Whatever you do, don't tell Tsunade, okay?"_

_Kakashi sighed again. _

_Damnit, damnit, damnit. _

_"Kakashi? Please," Gaara pleaded. "Please?"_

_"Even... if... these meetings are confidential, but she knows now already. Shizune might tell-"_

_"Shizune doesn't know anything! She wouldn't tell Tsunade! Please don't bring her into this! Please, I already did and it will only ruin things if she pokes her nose into my business! Please!" _

_Kakashi grasped the bridge of his nose. _

_"Gaara... if I trust you to deal with this alone... will you be alright?"_

_"I'm not dealing with it alone."_

* * *

><p>"What is this about?" the eldest Sabaku sibling hissed as her brother dragged her along. "Where are we going? What's the deal, Kankuro?"<p>

"Gaara wants to talk to us," Kankuro panted. "It's really important. He said it was urgent. And it must be really serious. He dragged me out of class. So I'm dragging you out."

Temari sighed. Well if Gaara was calling a family meeting in the middle of the day, it must be something.

They burst into the auditorium. Kankuro, in reasonably good shape from playing football, was barely out of breath. Temari was panting from her run, but she tried to slow her heart with slow, deep breathing. It worked well enough and she kept going. "This... had... better... be important," she said through her breath. "It wasn't that long or hard a run-"

Gaara heard familiar voices in the auditorium. His siblings. Finally.

He'd spent almost ten minutes sitting here.

Alone in the dark with his feelings.

With his fear.

It ate away at his mentality.

He was becoming numb again.

_No, no, no, no, no, no. _

_I can't accept it. Things aren't the way they used to be. I don't need a self defense mechanism like that anymore. _

But still, he couldn't shake a natural reaction.

"I'm up here," he called to them.

They joined him up on the stage, in the semi-darkness. Kankuro remained standing while Temari sat down with a plop, shivering a little. "It's cold in here," she chattered. "And it's kind of creepy in here. What's the deal, Gaara?"

"He's back."

Those two words.

Simple.

Vague.

General.

Ominous. It made the hair on Kankuro's neck stand up.

"Who?" Temari asked.

"Our father."

Complete silence.

All three of them had known it was coming. They'd all forgotten about it. Somehow. Somehow they'd forgotten.

Amazing as it seemed.

Almost simultaneously, their fists clenched.

"How did-?"

"Shizune called him. He just got back. And he knows I'm close to being suspended."

Temari couldn't see him.

But she didn't have to. She reached towards him and put her hand on his knee. Frowning as he flinched away.

"Gaara-"

"You don't have to worry."

Both the youngest and eldest Sabaku siblings looked at the middle child.

His eyes were glinting.

Gaara could see them.

They were shining unnaturally.

"He's never going to touch you again, I promise. I won't let him. And Temari, you won't either, right?" Kankuro asked, staring evenly at his sister. She might be smarter than him. She might be clever and sharper than a tack and better than him intellectually. But there was no way he was braver than her.

Temari began to shake.

How could she even consider saying no?

Yet, she was.

Fear struck her like it had struck Gaara, like a snake, snapping its cold, mercilesss fangs ready to crush and destroy its victims.

She felt it it settle in her stomach, making her feel small, like a mouse.

A mouse.

Just a mouse to be trodden on.

A cold hand grasped her own.

Then another hand, a warmer hand, grasped her other hand.

Gaara.

Kankuro.

They would stand by her.

And she was a coward if she didn't do the same for them.

She tightened her grip.

"Yeah. That douche bag. He won't. Not if me and Kankuro have anything to say or do about it. And we do. Don't worry, Gaara," Temari spoke fiercely. "We're here for you."

Gaara felt something rising up his throat.

He couldn't speak.

He couldn't swallow.

All he could do was draw them close and hug them.

Feel their warmth.

Feel their love and support.

But a part of him, deep inside, could still feel that chilly anxiety.

A part of him... didn't want them to get hurt. Didn't want to be protected. Didn't want them to protect him.

A part of him that felt... oddly familiar.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys. I tried not to make this a cliffhanger... but I think I failed. <strong>

**Anyhow, did you enjoy? Thanks for reviewing!**

**I love you all. The constant reviewers, the occasional reviewers, the readers, and the slightly creepy fangirls. XD**


	40. PreBridge

Now Naruto was really worried. It was lunch time and still no Gaara.

He dragged Sasuke around to help him look.

Now Sasuke was glad to leave the cafeteria. Kids were staring at him and whispering, some actually daring to talk about it loudly. He flushed angrily and almost got into a fight when a kid actually had the nerve to come up to him and ask if he was "joining the faggot club." Stupid asshole.

The only reason he hadn't killed the asshole, was because the blond had leapt at him, far too eager for his suspension to resist a fight. The raven had had to grab him and hold him back, preventing himself from beating the shit out of him.

Still, it had annoyed him and embarrassed him, enough that he was far too willing to follow the blond out.

Ignoring the hisses and laughter as he left.

And the malicious wolf whistling.

But Naruto had had to drag the raven to look for the redhead.

Sasuke always had trouble eating when running at breakneck speed looking for a kid who was used to hiding.

The raven was all for skipping lunch.

But he was definitely not for Gaara-hunting.

"Maybe he's just skipping," Sasuke suggested, trying not to choke on the cheeseburger he'd been eating when Naruto had almost clotheslined him accidently. How did that happen? Well Naruto had put his arm out, skidding to a halt and catching his friend completely by surprise. He coughed a little and swallowed. "You're over-reacting. He's fine. Just... doing whatever. What are you, his babysitter?"

"I am his boyfriend," Naruto hissed.

Damn. That hurt a lot more than it should've.

Sasuke sighed as Naruto darted down another corner.

"Are you really this controlling-?" he started.

"No! I'm just worried, man! He didn't come back from Shizune's office. He must be upset if he didn't go back to class when she was done. I wonder what's the problem. He's never cared about getting in trouble before," Naruto said. "Something must've happened. Something bad."

Sasuke sighed. "Sure," he said, giving in. "Let's find him and find out what's wrong so I can stop running while eating."

"That's what I've been saying!"

* * *

><p>Gaara was reluctant to leave his siblings.<p>

A reluctance they apparently shared.

Temari was all for skipping school, but she was hesitant about leaving school grounds. Were would they go? Certainly not home and certainly

Kankuro wanted to stay here in the auditorium until someone kicked them out.

All of them agreed to stay together as long as possible.

So Gaara volunteered to get food.

It felt nice to know there were people waiting for him, despite the growing fear and doubt in his stomach.

_Doubt? _Maybe a part of him felt he was dreaming again. Maybe he felt Temari wasn't as brave as she made herself out to be. Maybe Kankuro wasn't ad caring as he seemed.

Maybe nothing had changed.

Gaara wanted to knock his head against a wall. What was he saying? A lot had changed, too much for things to simply go back to the way they were. A lot had changed. A lot. He could trust his siblings. They could trust him. They would help him. He wasn't alone anymore. That was certainly something that had changed-

Suddenly something grabbed him from behind.

He was yanked back and suddenly off the ground.

"Ow! Let go- Naruto?" the redhead squirmed out of the blond's grip and faced him. "Oh, hi Sasuke."

"Sup."

Naruto giggled. "You two have this like unspoken communication. Sasuke's like 'hey' and you're like 'hi' and you have this like glance where you say stuff-"

Gaara and Sasuke "glanced" at one another and thought, simultaneously and almost word for word, "What the hell is he talking about?"

"Are you babbling nonsense again? It's like you say whatever crosses your mind-"

"Oh I'm sorry I got off topic! Gaara! What's wrong?" Naruto interrupted.

"Nothing," Gaara spoke. "I was just getting lunch."

"I don't think they let you buy lunch ten minutes in to lunch," Sasuke frowned.

Gaara refrained from saying what he was thinking, which was that he hadn't been planning on buying lunch. He'd known that too, so in advanced he'd planned a little bit of infiltration and snatching. What could he say? His moral code was flexible and only active when it suited him.

The raven eyed him like he knew what the redhead was going to say, but he didn't say anything himself.

Too bad Naruto wasn't the same.

"Well that's fine! I can go and ask them for some more food! They adore me! I can just go hammer on the door and- oh wait! I'm sorry, I got off topic again!" Naruto cried. "Crap! Gaara... what's the deal? Why'd you skip lunch and fifth period?"

The redhead hesitated. Should he tell the blond? Did he really need to? What help could Naruto be? He'd only be a nuisance.

As soon as the thought passed his head, shame flooded his mind, guilt almost loosening his tongue. Naruto wasn't a nuisance. He was never a nuisance.

The first thought hadn't loosened his tongue.

But the second one did.

Gaara spilled.

He told Naruto what Shizune had told him and how he and his siblings had gathered in the auditorium.

It didn't take long. If Sasuke hadn't been there, staring at him thoughtfully, unsettling him, he might've told Naruto how scared he was and how nervous he was and how emotionally wrecked he felt right now. He might've even broken down and let Naruto hug him and pat his back and tell him it was alright. It would've been pointless, but it would've made him feel a tad better. Instead, the redhead had to just settle for a strong hug. Naruto hugged him, tight enough to bruise, and Gaara hugged him back even harder. He tried to put his emotions through their skin contact, trying to say in a simple action everything he couldn't say out loud. He wasn't sure if it was clear. He wasn't sure if he succeeded, because he himself wasn't sure what emotions he wanted to convey or if he even wanted to convey anything. Gaara wasn't sure if he wanted Naruto to think he had everything under control and wasn't scared or if he wanted the blond to know he loved him and comfort him and let him know he was fine or if he just wanted some comfort from him.

"You know, Gaara, sometimes a hug's just a hug. Don't over-analyze it," the blond whispered into his ear.

Gaara smiled.

Sasuke watched them, feeling like a voyeur.

And a tad jealous.

Then a tad guilty after that.

Then thinking about bashing his head against a locker in irritation with himself.

"Oh yeah, and Gaara?"

The redhead didn't say anything, since he knew the blond would continue speaking with or without a response.

"You and your siblings are having a meeting?"

The redhead nodded.

"Well I'm coming! Believe it! You can't keep me away!"

* * *

><p><strong>Ouch. Sorry, this chapter was kind of... off. Sorry, I'm saving up emotional turmoil for el final. This is the pre-chapter for a pre-chapter. There are a few chapters I need to bridge a gap, but I'll do my best to make them interesting. So if this wasn't too satisfying, sorry 'bout it. <strong>


	41. Masochistic Tendencies

**I'm so sorry, I was just so busy! I hate school! But if I wanted to complain about my life, I would write a blog, so here's the next chapter, sorry for the delay folks: **

"So what are you going to do?"

The Sabaku siblings looked at one another.

To be honest, they weren't sure.

"Don't tell me you guys don't have a plan," Sasuke groaned.

"Um, we do?" Kankuro tried. When the raven threw him a disbelieving look, he replied defensively, "hey, we just found out about this now."

"Yeah, how can w-we plan anything when we found out today?" Temari asked, hating how her voice cracked. It wasn't because she was scared, dammnit! Well-

"Call the cops?" Naruto suggested. "Easy enough, right?"

"There's no proof now," Temari shook her head. "Remember when we took him to Tsunade? There's no official records of his bruises, not one. He always hid it."

"But surely Tsunade or someone can testify against him in court, right?"

"Yeah, but without solid proof-"

"And what happens when we lose him, huh? Then what happens to us? Even if the case was somehow won, what would happen to us-?"

"It doesn't matter!" Naruto said fiercely. "If it means Gaara's safe, then it doesn't matter!"

They began arguing back and forth.

"But we don't have any proof and you know the legal system will twist the case around until he wiggles away from punishment again-!"

"Can't you testify-?"

"I didn't know until recently, it'd be lying-"

"So what? He's a liar-"

"Why would I want to be anything like him-?"

"This isn't going anywhere!"

"What about Temari and Gaara? Couldn't they testify?"

"If you really want to drag Gaara in front of a court and make him tell everyone what was done to him. Not to mention his father would most likely be present. And let's not forget Dad's filthy rich and could afford the best lawyer around-"

"Why is the law system so fucked up? There has to be something we can do-"

Gaara listened, taking in information. They all had points. But what were they supposed to do? What was he supposed to do? How could he go back to the way he'd been living before? It hadn't been living. And he couldn't go back. Not now. But say his father did leave his life completely. What if he and Naruto were seperated? What point in life would there be? Just the thought of never seeing Naruto again had his heart closing in on itself.

A grim terror gripped his throat once more. He could've puked. He stared at his siblings, Naruto and Sasuke. They seemed so distant. He felt oddly disconnected.

_He wasn't sure if he was alive or dead. Which one appealed to him more? He certainly didn't like this limbo. He didn't like the pain. Nor did he like the thought of nothingness, of dying. But he was hurting. Hurting so badly, inside and out. It hurt. Hurt to be hurt by someone who should love you. Hurt to be unloved. Hurt to be alone. Hurt to hate himself so much. Hurt to be so confused. Hurt to be tied firmly to the living while tugging towards the dead. _

Gaara suppressed a whimper, gripping his hair and bowing his head. Nothing, nothing. He was nothing.

"Gaara-?"

_Gaara yelped as he was yanked up by his hair. His father tightened his grip and dragged the redhead to the kitchen. A grim foreboding gripped Gaara's scrawny form and he wanted to badly to squirm and fight and run, but his father had a killer grip on him and any struggle would result in further pain. All he could hope for now was a quick end. He was thrown to all fours, kneeling with his palms pressed into the cold kitchen tiling. A foot hooked under him and hit his gut, a soft spot, with indescribable agony. He keeled over and coughed. Liquid dribbled form his mouth and he absentmindledly dragged his hand up to touch it. Blood. He'd hit something with that last hit, something important, but there was nothing he could do about it at the moment._

No! He couldn't remember! He couldn't be swallowed by his memories. They were nothing but memories. Memories he would not repeat now in the present.

_"If I die, you'll be arrested," Shukaku said. This seemed to remind Father that if he killed his son, it would be almost impossible to cover it up. He got up and shoved Gaara away from him. "Stay here," he growled. _

_"Who are you?" Gaara gasped, breathing in deeply, trying to get air back to his starving lungs. He was saved. Saved by the voice in his head. He wanted to know who his savior was. "You can call me whatever you wish," the voice purred through his own lips. "I'm here for you, Gaara. I am your friend. I just saved your life. You can trust me." His breath hitched in his throat. Someone who cared. Someone who cared. He'd thought no one cared, that he was all alone. But maybe, he wasn't as alone as he thought._

A pang sparked in his stomach. Shukaku.

Did he miss that voice?

No, he didn't need Shukaku. He wasn't lonely anymore. He didn't need it.

But did he miss having him around?

Did he?

Would he hear him soon? Or was he gone forever?

"Gaara!" Naruto said frantically, shaking him gently. "Are you okay?"

"Enough with this foolish argument," Sasuke said. "Maybe-"

"We should discuss this later."

Three boys looked at her.

Temari was looking at Gaara.

"What?" Kankuro demanded. "We need to discuss this now!"

"He'd never hurt you!" Temari replied sharply. "He'd never hurt any of us, right?"

"What's your point?" Kankuro answered.

"Well, we don't have to throw him in jail right this instant, do we? We can wait a little, until there's evidence-"

"What?" Naruto exploded. "There's no way! We are not going to let Gaara get hurt again! Just throw the damn bastard in jail!"

"We can't!"

"You might have a chance! In fact, I'm sure-!"

"Naruto, it's not that simple-!"

"Hey! Shut up! All of you! I don't hear Gaara talking! And I think it should be his decision! There are two courses of action! We wait, or we do something! It's up to Gaara because either action affects him the most!"

They all stared at Gaara.

The redhead just sat in silence. A silence Naruto couldn't and wouldn't take.

"Well of course he's going to-!"

"Shut up, Naruto! If he doesn't want to do anything right this moment, then he doesn't have to!"

"Be quiet, all of you," the redhead murmured. Something about his voice made them all quiet down, almost instantly. Naruto grabbed his hand. He didn't let the redhead pull away, though it hurt him when he tried.

"I say we wait."

And that was that.

Temari and Kankuro might've bickered longer after that and tried to reason with him, but Gaara stopped paying attention, knowing they'd have to stop sometime.

When Naruto began, Gaara had to close his eyes to keep the tears from flowing.

It was for a masochistic reason he'd decided to do nothing for the time being.

Gaara didn't want things to get complicated. He didn't want to get the government involved, he didn't want anyone to get involved or hurt. He thought he could hide behind these people, his friends and family, but he realized now that he couldn't. He wouldn't. He would take his punishment for the time being. He didn't want to over think this. The moment he did, everything would unravel. Everything he'd been sure of would fall apart and he wouldn't know what to do anymore. For now, he would take the pain. He would keep Temari and Kankuro out of it, keep Kakashi out of it, keep everyone out of it. Just for now.

He knew he couldn't be the same person he had been, even if he tried.

But he did know this. When the time came, he would be a different person, the person he'd become.

Who exactly that was, he wasn't sure.

But in his moment, he'd be sure.

And that moment was when he'd make the decision that would send his life the direction he wanted. At least, the direction he believed he wanted.

As masochistic as wanting the pain for a revelation was.

Still, glancing at his siblings and boyfriend, all of whom were talking loudly, he doubted they'd allow it.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for delay, but I have a shitload of homework to do RIGHT NOW. So I'll talk to you soon I hope.<strong>

**Later. Witchdoctr out.**


	42. Conflict, Final Resolve

Gaara was right.

They went home with him. And had even set up a plan.

Kankuro would walk in first.

He'd talk to their father first. He would keep his attention away from Gaara the best he could. He'd volunteered since their father wouldn't hurt him. Probably.

But Kankuro was pretty strong, being a football player. He could handle it if his father tried to hit him. Not that anyone expected him to.

Temari kept her phone in her pocket, easily accessible should she need it. She didn't want to take chances. She knew her father would be dead set on using his favorite punching bag. Something she never wanted to watch again.

Naruto spent the rest of the day pleading with Gaara, quietly, to stay over at his house and call the cops or something on him, not this "waiting for evidence" shit. He'd hug him, kiss him, do everything he could think of to sway the redhead, but he was stubborn. He told the blond that his mind was made up and not to worry. Of course, Naruto replied that he would be doing the latter. "Just don't come to my house. Don't," Gaara had said.

The way the blond responded worried the redhead.

"Sure," he'd say, looking away.

Gaara hoped he was just pouting and would obey him.

But Naruto never did what he said, not if it meant letting something happen to him.

It was so sweet and frustrating at the same time.

Look at him. Thinking of his boyfriend when he should've been thinking of himself. But then, he wouldn't truly be himself with Naruto, would he?

The thought alone made him wish Naruto could be there.

And made him glad he wouldn't be there. Well if he listened to him.

Oddly enough, accepting the threat of pain on the horizon eased his mind. His heart rate remained at an unhealthy rate and he'd feel panic welling up in his throat, but he wasn't freaking out. He wasn't trying to run away. He was letting it be, as it would be.

And that scared the shit out of him.

He'd done that before. Letting things be the way they would.

But things were different.

Right?

When the time came for him to leave, to walk home with his siblings, it didn't seem like it.

Now was his time to lose his head, to feel like everything he'd thought and decided earlier was foolish and he was walking to the gallows. Now was his time to ache inside and feel small. Now was the time to choke back tears. Naruto ran up to him and hugged him tightly, in front of his house. "You can change your mind now," Naruto whispered. "You can come into my house and we can sit together on the couch, we can watch stupid romantic movies or-" Gaara shook his head, his fingers curling around Naruto's shoulders, seeking comfort.

"Stop trying to convince me," Gaara said, voice cracking. He knew if he let the blond continue, Naruto'd convince him to stay. Right now, his mind was drawing a blank as to exactly why, but he knew that he'd made a choice earlier, a good choice, that he was going to follow through with. "I'll be fine."

It was a lie.

And both of them knew it.

When Gaara broke away from the contact, Naruto's eyes began to water and his hands curled into fists. "Gaara," Naruto said, lips curling as he tried to keep his sobs back. "Gaara, please be careful. Don't get hurt. " His voice was definitely cracking, but Naruto was glad he managed to get anything out of his tight throat.

It was a stupid thing to say.

"Don't forget you're not alone."

Gaara turned away from him. He shoved his hands in his pockets. He was afraid if he looked at his boyfriend, he'd start crying and the moment he did, was the moment his will would crack and he'd break. He bowed his head, but no matter how hard he tried, tears slid down his skin. Naruto was so stupid. Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he have to be so sweet, so kind and so loving, so lovable? Why was this happening to him? Why was he willingly making the choice that would hurt him? Maybe he was wrong. Naruto wasn't the fool. He was. He was the stupid, masochistic one.

But between two choices, he'd take the painful one.

Because physical pain would never hurt as much as seperation from his savior, his blond angel.

Even though he knew that pain would come, eventually. He couldn't outrun it. Not if said savior had anything to do with it. His stupid, noble savior.

"I'm not."

The redhead turned and stared at the blond, who couldn't seem to tear his gaze away.

Gaara couldn't forget. The best thing that had happened to him was something he'd never experienced before, something that stayed with a person forever and hurt when it was gone. The seperation. It would've hurt him more than any punch to the lungs. He couldn't forget loneliness and thanks to Naruto, he didn't need to. He didn't need to feel it anymore. It wasn't there. Aloneness, loneliness, solitude, they had all been shoved away, replaced with love, passion. He couldn't forget his feelings for any of them if he tried. And, as guilty as it felt to think this, he'd tried. It hurt to know they actually cared about him. It hurt to hurt those he loved, by hurting himself. It hurt to act cold and heartless, when he truthfully wasn't anymore. It had been so much easier before. Now things were complicated. Now every direction, every path and every choice, ended in pain. But which one could and would he embrace? Which one would he rather have?

The answer came to him and he strengthened his resolve.

He didn't have to think any more. He didn't have to.

He just had to do it.

His tears stopped. He straightened his shoulders.

He started walking home, without another glance back.

Naruto had seen the conflicting emotions, the conflict in his boyfriend's eyes, the final resolve in the end.

For some reason, this eased his anxiety.

If only a little.

* * *

><p><strong>Yay. Update. <strong>

**Now listen, school's being a bitch, so I hope I can do this again with you guys sometime. I'll probably have a lot of time to update at least during the holidays. Holidays I spend writing stories and feeling lonely as I watch the fire flicker in the hearth. I know, so poetic, right? XD**

**I know I'm starting to die. Sorry, I'm doing my best and I'm so glad I managed to kick my writer's block's ass. I did my best, but the best and hardest is yet to come. The hardest being the ending, which I have always failed at. **

**Later. **


	43. Pain and Blood

**Don't kill me, okay?**

**I know those of you who put me on your Author's Alert probably know I started another story. **

***hangs head in shame* **

**I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. And I couldn't get my writing flowing again... so when I got an irresistible idea for Hetalia, I wrote it... and I got my writing back on! **

**So sorry for the wait, this is the final! And I have done my best! **

**So... hope I didn't disappoint you.**

* * *

><p><em>Temari's nails were digging into his skin.<em>

_It hurt._

But everything was surreal to him and he knew she was scared, so didn't comment.

Instead, he focused on his feet and keeping his blood flowing.

Kankuro had gone in. And they were supposed to follow, after waiting about a minute.

But as the time came to actually walk in, Gaara began to feel a little light-headed and his stomach began to feel fluttery. Not quite fluttery like the butterflies you might feel when standing in front of a crowd. More like a thousand tiny snakes wiggling and snapping at his insides, spitting venom and wrathfully beating against his innards. Just the imagery made him want to wretch. And he wasn't really the squeamish type.

Temari bit her lip. "Come on," she said tensely.

She reached for the door handle, then hesitated, pulling it back.

"Gaara, are you sure-?"

"Temari, my brother's in there. I'm not backing down now," Gaara said firmly, reaching for the handle himself and turning it. Quietly and carefully, betraying his own fear.

Suddenly, they both heard a thud and glass shattering.

A pained yell.

Immediately, Gaara almost dragged Temari forward as he bolted into his house, all traces of fear gone and adrenaline kicking up in his system.

This wasn't going as planned.

This wasn't going as planned.

Things weren't going as planned.

Now everything he did, would have to be decided in a split-second.

No more thinking.

Just doing what felt right.

Gaara yanked his hand free of Temari's death grip. His eyes met a sight he'd never thought he'd see, a sight he would've maliciously enjoyed seeing (he hated to think it, but he knew it was true), before he really began to love Kankuro.

His elder brother was curled on the floor, in a position he knew well. He groaned as his father-their father- kicked him harshly, shoving him against the wall with enough force to shake the kitchen table through the wall. His brother's eyes met his, and pain tore through them as he was kicked once again, his father's- their father's foot digging deep into his flesh. But besides pain, there was urgency. _Get away! Go away now! Leave! _Kankuro's eyes screamed at him. _Leave! Leave! Flee! Run!_

_Running. _

_Hiding. _

_He'd be safe if he ran. He'd be safe if he hid. He'd be safe if he let his brother take his pain away, for once. He'd be safe if he let his brother experience what he'd experienced _

_Safe. _

Safe.

There was a time when that was all Gaara wanted out of life.

But now... now he couldn't run. He didn't want to and he wouldn't.

He wasn't going to stand here any longer.

He wasn't going to...

Why couldn't he move damnit?

Why were his legs so stiff? Why couldn't he do more than just stare at his brother, who was whimpering as he was dragged up, pinned against the wall, then punched again, sending him back to the ground.

Gaara felt a hand around his wrist, so tight it hurt, and he was yanked back. But he resisted his sister, pulling his wrist away from Temari, who squeaked.

And caught their father's attention.

He whipped around, blood on his fist.

Gaara felt his gut tighten. He took a deep breath. Trying to calm his heart, which was on the verge of collapse. Or at the very least, hide his fear.

But it was far too hard for him, and far too easy for his father to tell.

The man smiled harshly.

He lunged forward, so quickly Gaara couldn't comprehend his movement. All he knew was that his father was smirking at him, sadism shining in his eyes, then his face was burning and he was thrown back, onto the ground. Temari shrieked something and Kankuro groaned somewhere on the floor. Gaara barely had time to breathe, or even blink as stars spun before his eyes and his head lashed back, his face stinging. His sister was shrieking, his brother was trying to stand, but his leg couldn't support him and he ended up slipping on his own blood.

He fell back against the kitchen table, leaning back, eyes closed. His slender frame bent over as a harsh punch to the stomach knocked every air molecule out of his gut and shoved him further into the hard wood table. He tried to gasp, but no sound came out.

"How dare you, a piece of shit, make me hurt my own son?" the man bellowed. He seized Gaara's hair and shoved his body down against the surface of the table. Gaara whimpered as his fist sunk into his gut once more. And again and again and again, in so many places, his face, his chest, everywhere. Pain everywhere. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. At one point, he stopped counting. At one point, he stopped listening to the sound of his own flesh being abused and attacked viciously. At one point he stopped listening to his father cursing and insulting everything about him. At one point, he couldn't hear his siblings' screaming anymore.

"Temari, do something! Temari do something NOW!" Kankuro bellowed. He couldn't understand why Temari wasn't doing _anything. _Why wasn't she moving? Why wasn't she doing anything? She just stood, frozen, staring at her brother on the table. She had seen this too many times, he realized. She was in shock.

It was true. Temari could only stare at her brother. She could only watch the scene from a distance, as she always had. Blood rolling down his face. Dull eyes. Gasps and yelps that were only physical reactions. He, Gaara, wasn't feeling the pain anymore. She would check on him later and he'd be hurting, but he'd take it all silently, without word and she'd feel guilty, knowing he was stronger than she'd ever been, ever was, and ever would be. She would try to tell him it would be alright and he'd ignore her. She'd try to comfort him, but what comfort could she offer him?

Kankuro braced himself against the wall. He leaned over, trying to get into Temari's pocket, trying to reach her phone. "Temari!" he bellowed. "I'm not you! I'm not a coward who stands by and just _watches our brother _get hurt! Now come on! Give me your phone if you don't have the nerve you dumb bitch!"

Temari closed her eyes. But she could still hear the sickening sound of flesh against flesh, of Gaara's pain and her father's sadistic pleasure, of her own pain and torture over the years. It was something she'd always wanted to stop. She'd always been in this position. She wasn't the one being hurt, but she was hurting too, suffering inside, with the feeling of helplessness. She was helpless. There was nothing she could do.

"GIVE ME THE DAMN PHONE!" Kankuro screamed.

But nothing was getting to Temari.

His father finally let his hair go. Gaara curled into a fetal position, not even wincing as his chest was assaulted by a savage agonizing fire. He gritted his teeth, sickened by the blood slipping through his teeth and lips, staining the table. He could taste the blood coming up his throat.

"You don't deserve to live!"

Gaara knew it.

"You should've been aborted at birth, but your mother, that cheating whore, wanted you-!"

Gaara knew it.

"No one cares about you! It'd be better for everyone if you were dead!"

He already knew it. He could tell. What did Temari care? She was just standing there, watching with whimpering sympathy. As if he was an abused dog she'd take care of, then shove away the moment he wasn't a pitiful little mutt. An object of pity. She'd pretend to care, but she'd be glad if he died. Come to think of it, he'd be glad if he died-

"Rot in hell and say hello to your mother while you're at it!"

A pair of hands tightened around his neck, squeezing unbearably tight. Despite his emotional pain and morbid, somewhat suicidal state of mind, he fought back, if only instinctively.

He kicked out, hands on the fingers around his neck, but as hard as he fought, he couldn't break free.

"TEMARI! TEMARI, HE'S KILLING HIM! LET GO OF HIM, YOU BASTARD! LET GO OF MY BROTHER!" Kankuro cursed. He tried to lurch over to the table, but he just fell. He fell in the worst way possible and collapsed, his entire weight on his bad leg, already twisted and bloody. He finally lost consciousness, unable to hold the pain at bay anymore. He was weak. His body was so weak and the pain was too much for him. The pain... As his eyes closed, the last thing he saw was his father, trying to kill his brother. He hoped he saw his brother later. He hoped to see his brother, alive, later. And as his consciousness slipped and the world faded to black, he hated himself for simply "hoping" and not being able to do anything.

Temari stared blankly at Gaara's face, which was slowly blue. He was dying. He was dying and like the coward she was, she was going to let it happen-

And suddenly, her mind snapped back into place.

Suddenly, she remembered who she was and what her duty was. She was Gaara's sister. And she'd promised she would protect him and that they were in this together.

Gaara felt his consciousness fading and he prepared to die, welcoming it, even. What did he have to live for, anyway?

And suddenly, his throat was free and his breathing no longer constricted. He gasped, choking to get air back into his lungs.

Temari had lunged at their father with a frying pan.

Temari had lunged at their father with a frying pan.

_Temari had lunged at their father with a frying pan. _

His sister stood in front of him, eyes steely, mouth grimaced determinedly. She glanced at Gaara. "You okay?" she asked.

He tried to speak, but found he couldn't, so nodded.

Temari swung her frying pan again, but Kaze caught her hand before it could make contact. "Don't you love your father? Why would you want to hurt me?" he simpered.

"Because you're not my father!" she shrieked, trying to wrench the pan free of his hand. But he held onto it. His fist snapped out. He punched Temari square in the jaw and she let go of the handle and reeled back, both hands over her nose, which had started to bleed. She barely had time to react as Kaze seized her hair and threw her down to the floor. He had a dark, murderous look in his eyes. "Not your father, hm?" he murmured. "Gaara, you little monster, you've done this. You've done this, you little-"

He took another step towards Temari.

But suddenly he was falling backwards, as something a little more than half his height charged into his gut, shoving him back against the kitchen counter. He growled something unintelligible.

Gaara had realized, seeing his sister defend him, so bravely and foolishly, that he did have something to live for. Someone to live for. Someone important.

And he couldn't believe he'd forgotten it.

How could he? He'd betrayed himself, by forgetting Naruto and his siblings, who'd formed him into the person he was today.

For a moment, he'd relapsed.

But not anymore. He'd let it take over him, let the fear rule his heart, but not anymore.

He was tired of being the victim.

"Stay away from my sister!" he yelled. "Leave us alone!"

"Your sister? Don't make me laugh," the man scoffed. "You're nothing-"

"Shut up. Stay away from my brother and my sister," Gaara snapped, both hands in fists as he waited for Kaze to make a move.

What he didn't know, was that his father was shocked. He was stunned that Gaara, submissive little Gaara, would dare hit him, that Temari would dare hit him. He was seeing red and wanted to beat Gaara to a bloody pulp, but no, that wouldn't teach the little bitch a lesson. He wanted blood. He watched blood trickling down Gaara's throat, from his grimacing mouth. He wanted to see more. He wanted to see it, smell it, and hear Gaara's pained gasps as he choked for life. He wanted his family back and he was sure that if this redheaded demon was dead, then they would come back to him. His hand fell back and he felt the cutlery drawer handle. He smirked inwardly and slipped his hand inside. Then, to distract the redhead from what he was doing, he spoke.

"You are nothing. They aren't your family. You never belonged with us-" Kaze snarled.

"We aren't your children! We aren't a family. You don't deserve the title 'father," Gaara snapped. Then he glanced back, down at Temari, whose head was bleeding rather heavily. A sizeable chunk of her hair had been pulled from her scalp and she touched the area tentatively, wincing. "You okay?" Gaara murmured. She opened her mouth to reply, then shut it abruptly, eyes widening in horror.

"Gaara look out!"

Gaara looked.

And seized Temari's wrist and pulled her to the side. Narrowly avoiding the knife Kaze had flung at him. He pushed Temari into the hallway, sending her stumbling into the wall. He didn't apologize, since he had more pressing matters. He turned back to the kitchen. Just as a large hand hit him, shoving him to his right, into the kitchen table once again. He saw white flashes and felt icy-hot pain burn his nose with a crack. He gasped. But the pain wasn't enough to keep him from blocking Kaze's next hit. Much to the man's shock.

Gaara blocked his fist and punched him with as much force as he could muster. He dug his elbow into his soft gut, then spun around, back-kicking Kaze away from him. Bad move. Kaze saw an opening. He darted forward and grasped Gaara's hip, now exposed, with a crushing fist, nails digging into the flesh. The redhead gasped and the other man took this opportunity to grab his shoulders, knee him in the groin and slam him face first against the kitchen counter. He seized red hair, yanked his neck up to the light, before slamming it back down against the metal stove.

Temari wanted to help. She wanted to join the fray, but she wasn't sure if she should. She might just get in the way. "Shit! Sorry, Kankuro, I forgot!" she gasped, falling onto her knees to his side. But before she could do anything, she heard a troubling noise, a pained scream. She glanced up at her brother and father.

Gaara put both hands in front of him. He flipped himself and yanked his body up against the counter and managed to give Kaze a powerful kick to the abdomen, with both legs, effectively shoving the man away from him. The man grunted in pain. And Gaara was filled with a sick satisfaction. Finally, after all these years. Finally, he'd be the one in pain. Finally, he was in control. He headbutted the man, not giving him time to react. Finally, he was the one with the power! He seized his father's arm, the crook of the elbow and the shoulder. Somehow, in his mind, somehow he knew how to break his arm. Just add a little pressure and twist a little...

And without another thought, he did.

When his father yelped, it was the most beautiful sound to the redhead.

He yanked the man's arm towards him.

And what he did next, horrified himself and Temari.

He bit into the flesh.

Bit harder and harder, taking out his sudden blood lust and repressed hatred, until he could taste blood.

He felt a thrill of excitement. Finally, not his blood. His father's. Kaze Sabaku's.

He was forced to let go, however, the moment his father kneed his groin.

And that sudden pain, reminded him of who he was. What he had just been doing.

Holy. Shit. What the FUCK had he just done?

The redhead spat out the blood, trying to get the horrible taste out of his tongue. He felt sick, staring at the floor. Then he looked at Temari. She was staring at him on her knees by Kankuro's side, eyes wide with horror.

What. The. Fuck. Did. He. Just. Do.

He felt like a monster. Temari's gaze made him feel like a monster. The traces of blood in his mouth told him he was a monster.

A true, inhuman beast, the one his father had always told him he was-

He was suddenly on the ground, looking up, bemusedly at his father's towering form.

His father fumbled for the cutlery drawer with his good arm, with his good hand.

Gaara stumbled back in alarm as a knife glinted before the kitchen light.

"You-"

He shot up, grabbing his father's hand and twisting the knife out of his grip.

Then, ignoring Temari's panicked scream, which was nothing but buzzing in his mind, he lunged forward.

His hand tightly gripping the kitchen knife.

Then releasing it.

Blood.

Blood everywhere, on his face, on the counter, on the floor.

His father's blood again.

Blood. Not his own. Not his pain. The knife's handle wasn't in his gut. The metal wasn't in his blood.

But there was blood on his hands.

And... he smiled.

Just a little.

* * *

><p><strong>This is the end. <strong>

**I hope I did okay. I tried not to over do the emotions and thinking, since I've gone over that a billion times, and tried to focus on action. Did I fail? **

**No worries, there will be another chapter to wrap it up, so this isn't exactly the end. **

**You could stop reading right now, if you wanted. **

**But you wouldn't know what happened after... and if things went alright for our favorite Sand ninja who was shamelessly OOC throughout my fun little angst fanfic. **

**Ah well. **


	44. The End

Naruto wet his hair.

But it just spiked right back up.

"Can't you hurry up?" Sasuke snapped irritably.

"We're not going to be late or anything, so chill out," Naruto called back, running a comb through his blond spikes.

The raven huffed impatiently. He knew they didn't have a time limit. He just wanted him to hurry up, since Naruto had been preparing for almost five minutes now.

The blond stared at his hair. Then he mussed it up, returning it to its former and natural disorder.

He sighed. He didn't want to admit it, but he was a little nervous. What was he supposed to say?

"Hey, you look the same way you did going in," Sasuke grumbled at the blond.

Naruto grinned at him.

"You just wish your hair could do what mine does naturally," he teased.

Jiraiya glanced at the blond and his best friend as they stomped down his stairs.

"Naruto, are you sure you should go? I mean, he's-"

"He's not insane," Naruto said stubbornly. "I already told the cops-"

"Don't be upset, I'm just saying he's probably really upset and I'm not sure if... well, you of all people should be-"

"He'd want to see me," Naruto said obstinately. "He's got to know he's not alone. Kankuro's in the hospital and Temari's not allowed to see him. She's being questioned by the police. I need to know Gaara's okay, old man, and I know he'll tell me what happened!" He wanted to know the truth, the real truth, not what had been said, around school, on the news, in the newspaper, by the police. As Gaara's boyfriend, he himself had been questioned, as had several other people, including Temari, who, being a witness of the crime, was still being questioned.

The police had told Naruto something like this: Gaara Sabaku, who had a long, violent and unstable past and some mental health issues they'd dug up, had snapped and killed his father. They suspected mental instability and dual personalities and a dangerous sadistic streak. They hinted that he'd hurt his family, attacking his brother and sister before killing their father.

Naruto had set them straight.

He'd given a lot of evidence, helped, presumably, by Temari and several others, including Tsunade, Jiraiya and Kakashi.

They both managed to clear "murder." Instead, Gaara might be facing the crime of "manslaughter" which Sasuke said was "fucked up" since it should be counted as "self defense," his nasty bruises being the proof. But manslaughter was a lot better than murder.

There was an upside and downside, however.

Since Gaara was "clinically ill", he was currently institutionalized in a hospital for the "criminally insane" wing in a juvenile center quite a distance away.

And Naruto finally had permission to visit his boyfriend.

Itachi was driving them.

He was overjoyed to find them together. Well, not together together. That would've been too much to ask, since he actually thought Gaara and Naruto made a cute couple. No, he was just happy that Sasuke wasn't being a douche anymore, had ditched Suigetsu, and was once again Naruto's best chum. He was happy Sasuke was happy. Or at least, back the way he'd been before, which was emo happy. He often peeked at them with his rearview mirror. Naruto was blabbing about something and Sasuke had his arms crossed and was answering him with sarcasm. Same old, same old. Mean, ever-cool-and-sarcastically-quick-witted emo Sasuke and obliviously happy Naruto, who took it with a grin.

"What the hell are you smiling so wide for?" Sasuke asked his brother.

"Nothing."

But it wasn't really nothing.

Itachi sighed with contentment. Everything Deidara had told him, when he'd called a while ago, hadn't been Sasuke. That jackass he'd heard about in a good hour rant, was the kind of kid he wanted to beat to death with a spoon.

This Sasuke was his little brother.

The Sasuke who came with Naruto, the boy he loved, to see his possibly insane boyfriend.

The Sasuke with a heart, who hid his jealousy, and selflessly supported Naruto.

All the while dropping smart ass lines and complaints and whines about anything from the color of Naruto's hair to the sun.

They got to the institution after about thirty minutes.

They were directed by the somewhat anxious and tense receptionist to the proper wing of the hospital. All of them were somewhat uncomfortable. Being in a hospital was bad enough, but being in a hospital for the mentally insane juvenile criminals was creepy as well as depressing. Still, Naruto didn't seem affected.

In fact, he ran through the hallways without a glance at or reaction to his surroundings.

He wanted to see Gaara.

He'd wanted to since he'd heard of the accident, the murder.

He'd needed to.

It had killed him to wait this long, to be held forcibly in his house by Jiraiya. It had killed him to break his promise.

"Gaara!"

* * *

><p>Gaara stared out his window.<p>

The light was hurting his eyes.

He wished he had curtains rather than bars on his small window, high above his low, crappy and unsteady bed.

He smiled bitterly.

He was glad he didn't have to share rooms with anyone. He didn't have to eat lunch in the cafeteria since his food was given to him through a slot in the prison door.

He was glad.

He was sure they'd heard of him and knew of him.

He was sure they'd be curious and ask questions.

And he wasn't sure if he could answer any of their questions.

He himself, was still confused over what had happened. He himself still felt a numb shock, a long-lasting reaction to murdering someone and actually smiling about it. To tasting someone's blood and reveling in the taste, to being a monster in a moment of passion and hatred. Was he a victim or a murderer? He wasn't sure now.

"Gaara!"

Shocked, the redhead turned away from the window.

Just as his door opened and a blur of yellow attacked him.

He felt fear well up in his stomach.

But then, he felt two arms around his waist and smelt a familiar scent.

"I missed you," his boyfriend whispered into his ear.

"Naruto," Gaara murmured. "I-"

"It's okay, Gaara. You're not insane. And I promise I'll make sure everyone knows it. Kankuro will be fine, Temari will be fine and you will be released, and you'll be fine too! Don't worry! And don't regret. That bastard deserved what he got and don't you dare believe otherwise! He was a bastard who deserved to be killed as slowly and painfully as possible! I think so and I'm not insane!"

"That's debatable," Sasuke said.

"Shut up!" Naruto said, head whipping around like a hunting dog on point. Then he giggled softly and turned back to the redhead.

He took Gaara's hand.

"Believe it. You're going to be happy if it kills me. And if that makes you unhappy, it makes me unhappy."

Gaara smiled slightly.

"I'm going to be here for you if I have to get myself into this institution to do it. I'm going to be with you as long as you want me and even if you don't want me! You're going to be happy! Believe it!"

Naruto shook his hand enthusiastically.

_I promise, Gaara. I promise you'll be happy, with me or without me, away from me or near me. _

_I promise. _

_And I'd never break a promise._

* * *

><p><strong>Several months later...<strong>

Gaara stared across the courtyard discontentedly.

The sun was shining brightly, hurting his eyes.

It annoyed him. Still, he didn't mind too much. It was yellow. And bright. And warm. And spiky.

His lips twitched into a grin, before sinking back into his thoughtful frown.

He thought about Kankuro and Temari, who were living with the same foster parents, for the time being. Would he ever see them again?

"Hey Gaara."

He looked behind him.

"Oh great, it's you," he sighed.

"So impolite," the man sighed, sitting down with a lazy plop next to him. "Listen, Gaara, I'm a counselor, you're a troubled kid. I have a child foster care license, you need someone stable with counseling experience, so not just any parent can handle you. I have a job at the school the healthiest aspect of your life goes to, namely Naruto. You want to stay in this state right? You don't want to be shuffled around, state to state until you're eighteen, right? You-"

"Spit it out, where are you going with this?"

"I'm saying if I take you in, then we can convince the government that you're mentally stable with some counseling sessions. I know you're not messed up, Gaara. I know. I- well you know I'm not the first candidate for a father, but... well I- you're not such a bad kid... and, well I'm your counselor- and it wouldn't really be hell to live with me, so-"

"Shh. Kakashi, does this mean I'm going to have to deal with you every day?"

"Yeah. And you get to talk to me _every day. _Think you can handle it?"

Gaara groaned.

"Come on, Gaara, you're a tough kid. I'm sure you could handle me."

"I always have. Are you sure _you_ could handle _me_?"

"Oh, psh. You're a piece of cake compared to that Gaara kid I had before. He was a real mess and he was in a bad place for a long time. But you, Gaara? You're alright. And I think you're a good kid, who did the right thing and saved himself, without someone else's help. Better than I managed to do. I don't think you belong in this mental house. And I'll get you out of here. Even if," here the school guidance counselor sighed. "I have to be a father to do it."

Gaara winced.

"Can I just call you Kakashi? Father's just awkward."

"You're right. As long as I can call you Gaara and not have to call you or Kankuro 'son.'"

"Deal," the redhead said. "Wait, did you say Kankuro-?"

"I convinced the state it would be healthy for you to have family living with you and they gave me some child support, as well as some of Kaze's money. Most of it was left to Kankuro, and to his company, but there was enough to get myself a two-roomed apartment. It'll be crowded, since you and Kankuro sleep in the same room and you'll have to help him get dressed in the mornings and night, but hey, when Temari moves out, you can have your own room-"

"Sounds cozy," Gaara interrupted. "So none of us have to call you Dad? Deal."

"Deal. Let's get out of here, huh? Naruto's waiting at my house with Temari and Kankuro. Just thought I'd warn you. They're kind of rambunctious at the moment, even Kankuro, who should be resting on the couch." Gaara smiled.

It felt good to have people waiting for him.

It felt good to know he was finally going back. He was finally going home.

Because the place where people loved you, a place people waited for you with longing and open arms, was home.

* * *

><p><strong>...<strong>

**...**

**...**

**...**

**This... is the end. **

**Goodbye...**

**forever...**

**Unless you want to read another one of my stories... in which case you shall hear from me again. **

**So anyways, I ended this rather badly, but not nearly as bad as I have in the past, so I don't have too much self-hating to do. I tried to make it the finishing chapter and quite obviously so, but you'll have to tell me if you got the sense of "it's over," and didn't think, "oh, it's over, I guess." I want to make sure this made an impact on you before you forget about it completely. **

**Thank you all for reading. Thank you all for reviewing. Thank you those who were around since the very beginning and helped this tiny, ten chapter intentioned story become a trilogy. Thank you for being so supportive. I can't thank you reviewers enough! **

**THANK YOU! **

**And have a good night. **

**Witchdoctr... is... out. **


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